If the shoe fits

So guess who is the newest shoe diva on the block?

Not myself, though I love a good pair of heels. Not Big Papi, who has like five pairs of shoes, nor the Alien who doesn’t wear shoes because when learning to walk I feel it is best to be barefoot.

No, my faithful reader, the shoe diva in our house is the Caveman.

I guess I shouldn’t call him a diva as he is all little boy, but the kids is all about shoes. The Caveman currently has several pairs of shoes and flip-flops. He refuses to wear the flip flops and will only lament to wearing his water shoes unless he can see the pool. The biggest battles are when he wants to wear a certain pair of sneakers and we make him wear another.

This morning is a prime example as Big Papi and the Caveman spent the morning in the tv room. When they came down the hall to begin the day I notice that the Caveman is only wearing one of his Sesame Street shoes, and on the wrong foot. So in love with his sneakers, the Caveman will put them on while playing around the house. If we try to take the off, particularly when he wants to play with the Alien the temper tantrums are long and loud.

The Caveman was in a particularly silly mood while getting dressed and when I went to grab the closest pair of shoes, the grey Spiderman shoes that light up when he steps. He looks at the shoes (that mind you last week were the favorite) as if they were the most disgusting things on the planet. When I tell him “okay, left foot,” he refuses. Then I start the counting, and it still doesn’t work. My child gets up and runs away.

Finally I decide to look for the shoes he wants to wear today, the Sesame Street ones, and can only find the one shoe he was wearing this morning.

This is trouble because when I inform him of this and put on the Spiderman shoes seriously World War III started in my house. The Caveman shout, screams, begs for the other shoes. At this point I have had enough and yell back, “You will wear these shoes and be thankful you have shoes!” I almost added the fact that there are children in Africa that have no shoes.

I finally get the shoes on his feet and leave the room to help pack his lunch. He comes running in and is not wearing shoes at all. I lose it grab him by his arm and shove the shoes on his feet. There is no help for this situation; I am mad and over the whole situation.

The Caveman is so upset at this point he has to be carried by Big Papi to the car for preschool. Big Papi then comes to grab the Alien and tells me that the Caveman has asked for his Cars shoes and has taken off his shoes. I tell Big Papi no, that we are the parents. A few minutes later Big Papi comes back and proclaims that the Caveman has asked for the Cars shoes and that he says he is sorry. To get Big Papi out of the house I agree.

I think this morning I am going to hide all the shoes but the flip-flops and see how the Caveman deals with it. I can be evil too.

Where are my ruby slippers?

So the final leg of our journey is now upon us. It was time to go home- yay!

8:48am: I am trapped in a car with lunatics. The Alien is the ring leader. She is the evil mastermind behind my headache and stress level. I know that her plan is to torture Big Papi and I with her constant screaming that we will finally give in and she will have total control of our family.

We are currently on our way back home and have only been on the road a half hour. The Caveman has already had his drumsticks taken away from him by Big Papi. I just am trying to find my happy place in the mist of all this craziness. I am trying to read the second book of the Twilight Saga and can’t concentrate because my family is nuts.

I have also already called Crazy Grandma to let her know that we are on our way back and to please schedule massages for Big Papi and I for tomorrow. She is laughing at me and asked me to let her say “I told you so.” Fine mom you win, children do not belong on vacation.

9:37am: A two-year old in a car for a long time is never a good idea. The Caveman has been occupying himself by taking the straw from his orange juice cup and flinging drops of juice on his sister and I. Not amused I took the straw and cup from him.

I also think I have caught the Alien’s cold as my throat becomes scratchy and the headache worsens. Or it could be the lack of sleep from the fact that the Caveman decided that an entire bed in the same room with mommy, daddy, and his sister still meant that he needed to share the bed with mommy. He is a bed hog. I am not happy. Never again will I go on vacation with my children. I might even include Big Papi in that group if he continues to scream at the children.

11:00am: Sitting in a parking lot in front of a Chick-fil-a as the Alien screams at her loudest level. The Caveman and Big Papi have escaped inside the restaurant to go potty and to get the Caveman a kids’ meal. The only thing keeping me going at this point is the knowledge that both children will be with a babysitter tomorrow. I feel like I am about to be paroled.

11:20am: Leaving Chick-fil-a after I got to go to the bathroom by myself. Oh the wonder of quiet, I had forgotten that one could be quiet. I feel like I am hung over only I have none of the fond memories to go with the feeling of achiness.

11:45am: The manager of the Chick-fil-a was kind enough to give the Caveman a balloon.

I could kill the manager of the Chick-fil-a.

The Caveman is currently hitting his sister with the balloon. The Alien is very upset but to be honest she has been upset since Monday. Actually at this very moment she is half giggling half mad as her brother bops her in the head with his balloon. The song on the radio is SOS, how appropriate.

1:20pm: Rejoice! We are in Newport News! The nightmare of the vacation is almost over! Please God let there be no traffic!

1:28pm: Officially in Hampton. Realized we have to stop at Walgreens to drop off the Alien’s prescription for her anti-biotic. Alien, who has thankfully been napping, has awaken. Oh no! Big Papi almost misses the exit. Seriously now!?

1:32pm: Mercury Blvd. Happiness and joy. Freedom is approaching!

1:33pm: Arrive at Walgreens and the Caveman has just woken up by singing Old MacDonald.

1:34pm: Leaving Walgreens, for once no line. Back on Mercury and only three traffic lights away from our turn. The crying from both kids has started again.

1:36pm: Damn you traffic light that just turned red!

1:38pm: Turning onto our street!

1:39pm: Arriving in our driveway!

Well folks, there it is. Our first family vacation and we all lived to tell the tale. Now I imagine that in a few months the bad memories will fade and I will remember the touching moments. I can’t think of any right now, but they will come.

Then the mommy amnesia will happen. This is the phenomenon that allows for women to kinds sort of remember that labor hurt but are willing to go through it again. I know I will want to take the children somewhere again; they will just be able to wipe their own butts.

Elmo please past the bacon

So on the third day Jesus rose from the dead. Well fantastic for the son of God, myself however is ready to throw in the towel.

In fact that day was so crazy I do not have the regular time entries so most is coming straight from memory. You’ll see why:

6:35am: Worse night ever! Seriously want to kill the Alien and Big Papi. Before we left on the trip the Alien was showing signs of having a cold, and that almost always leads to an ear infection. Why do I know these things? Call it mommy instincts or part of the super power package of mommies. I mean come on, how is it that your mom knew when you were about to get into trouble without needing to be a witness to said trouble? The Alien in Pennsylvania was also different because my Alien is my favorite at night time because she sleeps through the night. She may wake up at 5:00am but by golly the Alien in this house hold sleeps through the night.

Not in hotel rooms apparently. I, myself, need an absolutely dark room, complete with white noise from the fan, and plenty of blankets. The hotel would not allow this many people to have a king size bed, know they insisted we get to full size beds. This was great for the Caveman, who in previous blogs has been known to not sleep the night away. The Alien every hour on the hour screaming at the top of her lungs is not the kind of white noise this mommy needs.

I claim it is because of the ear ache; Big Papi thinks that it is because she is out of her environment. When I get no sleep I am truly evil; add an amusement park with hundreds of preschoolers and well let’s just say momma isn’t happy. Now also throw in a husband who isn’t listening to my mommy instincts, I know sleep is a bottle of anti-biotic away!

He finally commits to taking the Alien to an urgent care facility nearby. This was around 4:30 and I just got off of the phone with him. Yep, the start of an ear infection, I don’t want to be right about this one because that means the Alien is in pain but I told you so Big Papi.

9:15ish: We are currently outside the park waiting for the gates to come up. Today is our breakfast with Elmo. That’s right folks for $16.00 a person, including the Caveman, you have a chance to actually meet Elmo and a few of his friends. You have to arrive at the gates early. Thank goodness we booked this in March because when the gates open we get one of the good seats right next to the breakfast buffet. The breakfast not so great, but they do have Apple Jacks which is the Caveman’s favorite. Also featured on the bar is scrambled eggs, very limp bacon, sausage links, tater tots, and French toast sticks. There is also whole fruit, a selection of cereals, and juice and coffee.

As we walk immediately I notice that in the middle of the room Big Bird is perched on a chair and is huge! Seriously my normally tall Big Papi (who is 6’7) is dwarfed by the sitting Big Bird. This does not matter to the Caveman who immediately runs towards the familiar bright yellow bird as if he were a friend. Right to Big Bird is one half of the dynamic duo, Ernie, who is a favorite in the Alien/Caveman household. Ernie gets high fives, and of course it happens to fast for my camera to capture, drat! We finally find our seats and I notice a mom filling whole plates with tater tots, eggs, and bacon. She takes it to her table so that her family can eat family style. Not a bad idea. I get the Caveman some cereal and then fill a plate with a little bit of this or that for him. The Alien is happily chomping on some Cheerios. Suddenly I notice a large golden monster arrive at our table. Zoe is gracing us with her presence. She is a delightful eating companion and the Caveman is so happy.

Then we walk across the room to meet the monster himself: ELMO! The Caveman loves Elmo, needing to watch the Elmo potty DVD every evening. He should be potty trained right as we speak because of the amount of time that has been spent with Elmo and the potty. Elmo is sitting in a corner with a photographer, which means that I can be in the picture too. The Caveman could not be happier, truly worth the money.

10:30ish: We leave the character breakfast and grab our stroller. The plan is to avoid the water rides because we left our suits in the car. A difference in the park as the weather is cool. There are not as many people in the park and arriving in Elmo’s world play area there is just a scattering of families. One feature of this area is something called Big Bird’s Nest which is a large area for children five and under. The Alien loves crawling and trying to walk. The Caveman runs circles. The kids could have stayed there all day long at that one attraction. While one parent watched the Alien on the Bird’s nest the other would take the Caveman on rides. It was just a fun time.

12:30ish: We decide that it is getting too hot for the Alien and decide to end our time at the park. Of course we stop at one of the many shops and walk out with an Ernie for the Caveman, an Abby Cadaby for the Alien and a Cookie Monster Cookie Jar for me!

While walking out we decide instead of heading back to the hotel lets drive the two hours and hit the Crayola Crayon Factory in Eaton. Well, we do a quick stop at the hotel to get directions, we are one of the few families in America without a GPS.

Big Papi runs into the hotel and its business center to print out directions to Crayola. He decides to take a back way.

2:00ish: Stop at a Wawa to get a little bit of lunch. I love Wawa and think it is a smart concept. I also get some of those baked cheesy snack things that I would never allow but it is a vacation. The Alien, it turns out, loves puffy cheesy snacks. So loved are these snacks that as the Alien eats them she first rolls the snack and the bright orange cheesy powder all over her face and feet. By the time we get to Crayola it takes half a box of wipes to get her to the point where she can go out into public.

Crayola was not what I expected. Right in the middle of downtown Easton, the factory is not a factory at all but basically organized chaos. I cannot believe they allow hundreds of children at a time access to paint, clay dough, and markers. There are stations set up where kids can do art projects. There is also this really cool body heat camera where while you dance to Disney music your body is shown in really cool colors like a lava lamp on a big screen. The Caveman runs from one end of the place to another, while the Alien is with Big Papi doing stuff. I think we would have enjoyed the place more if the kids were older, not certain it is good for two year olds.

We leave Crayola and head to the Crayola store. An entire store for crayons! The store features the world largest crayon. We purchase stuff for the kids and then load them into the car. Mommy takes a nap and we arrive back at the hotel around 5:30.

7:00ish: Starving and tired of the food we brought, Big Papi suggest Chinese food. Yum! We get a recommendation from the desk clerk who says she orders from this one restaurant at least twice a week. We notice the great prices and decide to have it delivered.

When the food arrives I open a pint of chicken fried rice for the Caveman and notice how pale the rice is, like they forgot the soy sauce or only used the bare minimum amount of claim it is fried rice. The only vegetables I see in the rice are the largest pieces of onion I have ever seen. I pour some on a plate for the Caveman and take a taste. Gross the worse rice ever! The chicken is rubbery, the rice dry and hard. I am fearful for my dinner of chicken and broccoli. Again the chicken rubbery the sauce gross, I didn’t finish it. Big Papi’s shrimp lo mien is worse. The noodles are so soft they are like mush and the shrimp has the bounce of a super ball. We didn’t even try the egg rolls. Everything went into the trash and after brushing twice I still have the after taste of the dinner.

Get the kids into bed and thankfully the Alien sleeps.

Adventures in Sesame Place part 2

So who are the people in your neighborhood? I swear if I hear that song one more time I will kill someone.

Sesame Street adventures part 2:

5:49am- I am awake. Seriously because the Alien is awake; she wants a bottle. There must be a Saturday/vacation function on these children. I haven’t found a way to turn on that option. Fine I will get up to make a bottle but come to find that Big Papi (who was in charge of bottles) only brought the one. Thank goodness mommy brought the incredible Method Cucumber Dish Soap. I love Method’s entire line of products. If someone from Method happens to read this blog please email me and I will gladly accept products. I can be bought with a lifetime supply of Go Naked Hand Soap!

With a clean bottle I realize that it was I who said bring only one bottle because I want to convert the Alien to regular milk and a sippy cup. Neither is working, and because I think the Alien is teething and has a cold I am willing to put up with formula bottles for the time being. Someone once asked me why I call them Caveman and Alien. I think the Caveman is self explanatory but the Alien is because often there is various amounts of gross fluid-like items that spew out of various orifices on her body.

Since I am awake decide to check internet only to notice it is down. Is this a sign for the remainder of the day? I hope not.

7:06 am- Ask James to go online and find a Target near the hotel so that I might be able to get a battery charger for the digital camera and to also confirm that we are in civilization. If there is no Target near you, I am so sorry. I am not sure I would survive as a person without a Target nearby. Thankfully with the internet back up Big Papi should be able to find a Target. But, first the man asks me, his wife (who has been awake since before six and who is trying to finish doing her hair and getting a Caveman from not playing “Monkeys on the Bed” at the same time) what is the zip code for the hotel.

I realize that as a mommy I have superpowers, but naming random zip codes of areas in the Northeast not one of them. When I inform him of this I get an eye roll worthy of a 14 teen year old girl. Assuming that Big Papi is not amused by my response I go back to explaining to the Caveman why we don’t want to do any sightseeing at the local hospitals.

8:31am- Alien is having her first fit of the morning as she has finished the bottle from before. This is a problem as we are in the car heading to the Target Big Papi claims is on the way to Sesame Place. Big Papi yells “Hey” to the one year old. I HATE when he does that, seriously how is that going to help. I remind him of this. The Caveman has happily requested the Coldplay live version of “Fix You.” When this song comes on I can’t help but remember that today is Tuesday and the day of Pastor Stowe’s funeral.

The Caveman is also wishing happy birthday to Big Papi, the Alien, and the large truck outside. No now he is yelling at his sippy cup for not being a good boom.
8:43 am- Big Papi is going to make us crash. Seriously need to publish this blog so that I can afford vacations without my family. Drat if I vacation without my family then what will I write about?

8:57- Just left Target without battery charger. Now I have already explained my need of a Target nearby, but now I have another requirement with people that actually know what they are doing when speaking to a guest. Target calls their customers guests. I have the Caveman with me as Big Papi is trying to make a bottle for the Alien. I go into the electronics department and look all around for battery chargers. Now there are five Target team members putting DVDs and CDs out. I finally give up and track down one of the various team members to ask if they have an Olympus battery charger. Here is how this conversation went:
Me: “Excuse me, do y’all carry battery charger for Olympus cameras?”
Target Dude 1: “Yo, Mike do we sell battery chargers for Olympus cameras?” This is said to guy right next to him.
Target Dude 2 aka Mike : “No” to Target Dude 1.
Target Dude 1: “No” to me
Me: “Okay, do you know where I could buy one. Like a Best Buy maybe?”
Target Dude 1: “Yo, Mike, do you know where she could get one?”
Target Dude 2 aka Mike: “Near your house.”
Target Dude 1 to me “Near my house.”
Me: “Excuse me?!?”
Target Dude 1 “You know Langhorne!”
Me “As in Sesame Place Langhorne?”
Target Dude 1: “Yes.”

I am in such shock about this conversation that I leave the store amazed and with a new idea for a chapter in my book about customer service: never assume your customer knows where you live.

9:28 am- Have stopped at a Chick-fil-a for breakfast that is right next to Sesame Place. Joy and they have sweet tea. All is not lost, but realize I did not buy wipes at the Target before at the last exit. As we leave the shopping center I notice that they not only have a Michael’s craft store but right next to it an A.C. Moore craft store. What kind of game is Langhorne playing with. Why on earth do you need two crafts store in the same shopping center?

9:30am- Still in shopping center with crazy amounts of craft stores and we cannot find a way out. It has us trapped. That is so we are forced to shop there. It is a conspiracy. No wait we found a way out but now the road has random cement on it with Chevys. And we cannot find our way to another Target to get wipes. Big Papi is finally able to make a u-turn. Kids are blissfully quiet.

9:54am- Finally in line for parking at Sesame Place! And it only cost us $15.00 dollars to park across the street from the park. Also it is strange to see so many New Jersey license plates in one area. Gosh, I feel like a tourist! Also, Caveman claims that we are not going to Sesame Place but to the park. I don’t feel like correcting him, but makes me think that I could have saved all this money and just taken him to Fort Fun at home. The Alien is humming to herself and is now eating her foot. No, not the Alien just grabbed the Caveman’s cup.

Finally get to our parking space and I immediately pull out the sun screen and liberally apply to both kids and myself. Big Papi can put it on if he wants to.

12:30ish: My first chance to write down my thoughts since walking into the park. As soon as we entered the park we headed straight for the stroller and locker reservation center. Thank goodness we reserved these ahead of time, though most people seem to have their own strollers as well. Get the kids and all our stuff on the stroller. We have two bags and three large beach towels as all my online research has told me that these are needed. Stash some stuff in the lockers and then head to purchase hats for the Alien and Caveman. Find adorable Abby Cadaby hat for the Alien and Elmo hat for the Caveman. Caveman immediately puts hat backwards and the Alien is trying her best to remove her hat.

We then head down and actually see a version of Sesame Street! Complete with Oscar’s can and light post! I would love to have pictures to show you but battery power is precious! Head to a merry go round looking thing and get in line. As we are in line I notice a family in Virginia gear. I yell out Go Hoos, and they respond in kind with a Wahoo Wa! Fun!

It is our turn for the ride and both kids love it. At one point I can tell the Caveman wants his horse to go faster while the Alien just sits there and hangs on. Big Papi is in the middle to make sure that neither child falls off.

Get off that and I discover that Elmo’s World Live is about to start. We head over and the Caveman is delighted to see Mr. Noodle, Dorothy, and Elmo talking about fish. What is really fun is that there are so many little kids that when the Alien starts cause a fuss there are a least three other children doing the same. And parents are so busy taking pictures of their own children to be busy with mine.

Actually this is an interesting thing that happens in a park for small children. As a mom of really cute children I often get strangers stopping me to admire my children. That didn’t happen here, and I’m not sure I like it. Sorry fold your kids are not as cute as mine.

After the show we head to the potty so that the Caveman can get changed. We also put on the water shoes. I am also on the lookout for a water fountain. Seriously there are none! So I finally give in and get in line with the slowest teenager on the planet. I purchase two sports bottles that allow for cheaper re-fills and have my first soda in almost two years.

At this moment I realize that the Alien has lost her hat! Blast it! Big Papi has been very productive marking on the map which attractions the children can actually participate in. The Caveman announces that he wants to go to a pool so we head to the Count’s Splash Castle. This fortress of water has a 1000 gallon bucket that dumps every 15 minutes. The Caveman is delighted. The Alien and I head to find shade. Right now we are sitting across from first aid and lost parents.

Another fun thing about being in a theme park for toddlers is that most of the women in the park have given birth which means no flat stomachs. It is very reassuring to know that I am not the only one who still looks like she is pregnant. The Alien starts getting fussy so I change her diaper in the stroller, thank goodness again that this seems perfectly normal with hundreds of preschoolers running around. There is a huge amount of strollers to avoid.

Then the Alien and I head towards the Count Castle again and I look through the sea of dads because this sort of thing is a dad thing. I finally see the Caveman and Big Papi at the top of the Castle under the 1000 gallon bucket. The bucket dumps the water and the Caveman is the happiest little guy in the world. I am so happy we came until I realize that Big Papi and the Caveman are in line for a water slide!

WTF! Seriously dads out there do you not realize that your wives spent hours in pain to bring your children into the world. Not to mention stretch marks, sagging boobs, and too much contact with poop. Now you want to bring my baby on a ride that can cause bodily harm, not to mention that the Caveman is not wearing his swimsuit that has the floaties built in. I watch with horror when the Caveman goes down the slide feet first and manages to go down face first which means that somewhere he is toss into three feet of water. Thankfully there is a life guard right there to get him out. Big Papi comes shooting out of the slide and sees me. He knows he is busted.

He grabs the Caveman and heads towards the Alien and I. The Alien at this point is screaming at the top of her lungs. I am hot tired and over the crowds. The Caveman is in full out temper tantrum complete with whole body hysterics. We put him into the stroller and I announce that it is time to go. Of course the Caveman is screaming our entire time heading towards the front. We get the stuff out of the locker where we run into a family who wants a stroller and is willing to pay $20.00 bucks for ours. I say sure since we were leaving anyway. Grab our stuff and practically drag the Caveman kicking and screaming to the exit. Finally Big Papi has both kids and a bag while I have all the towels and the other bag. We make it to the parking lot where another car asks us if we are leaving and could they have our spot. Please it is all yours!

The Caveman is beyond repair. The Alien is scary. I tell Big Papi stop at Best Buy because we have to get that charger. I leave him to handle the kids and I rejoice the minute I step into the air conditioned and grown up filled Best Buy. They of course have exactly what I need. I also grab lemonade and water for the baby and notice that the book, Twilight, is on sale. In desperation to escape my family I grab a copy and plan to send everyone else to the pool. I really don’t want to read Twilight but I am hot, tired, and desperate.

I make a bottle for the Alien, and put the lemonade in the Caveman’s cup. In five minutes both are asleep. We decide to drive around the area and it really is nice. The houses all seem to be made of stone.

We finally get to the hotel and the kids are awake and hungry. I get them both some fruit and cheese. And try to get both to take a nap. It isn’t happening.

Tomorrow we have breakfast with Elmo. Tomorrow I am bringing my own water for bottles and the battery is fully charged. We will have a good time, damn it! I am the mommy and I say so!

The Caveman and Alien Go To Visit Elmo part 1

So I think that I was crazy to think that I could pull off this whole family vacation thing.

Here is a time line of our first day adventures of going to Sesame Place.

8:21am- We leave the house fully packed ready to go. Well actually not quite as we first have to stop by Crazy Grandma and Dude-pa’s house to colalect the soda we left from the Bugg and Dr. Richie’s birthday party. Actually if I’m honest the Crazy Grandma doesn’t believe that Big Papi and I are capable of taking her children across state lines on vacation. Seriously she comes out in her robe and then adjusts the way we have something in the back of our Durango. Finally after we get the soda we head out and go past the fire station. The Caveman is way into the fire trucks, and literally screams with the passion of groupie. “FIRE TRUCKS!!!!!!!”

As we drive off Big Papi is imagining a bug attack (not happening, I think we need to start calling him Crazy Big Papi). Just realized that we forgot the pack n play for the Alien to sleep in at the hotel and have to go back to our house to pick it up and try to squeeze it between the cooler with drinks and food and the rest of our luggage. Seriously I believe that nomadic tribes cart around less stuff than we have packed for a three day trip from Virginia to Pennsylvania. We are not even camping. I am pretty sure there is a Target somewhere.

Arriving at our house we notice city workers in front of it weed whacking the drainage ditch in front of our house. How nice until I realize that they are also blowing said weeds onto my lawn! Grrr! Seriously, City of Hampton stop being silly and just give me a sewer therefore you don’t have to spread weeds on my lawn.

Off topic, finally hit the road.

8:48am- Okay not really on the road- stop at 7-11 to buy ice for the cooler. We are bringing a full cooler of Caveman/Alien/Parent friendly food for several reasons but the big one is the fact that cavemen and restaurants don’t mix. He doesn’t understand why he has to sit at the table and not scream at the top of his lungs. Plus we’ll save money for more important things like the dinner Friday night with our grown up friends to remind ourselves to never take a vacation with our children again.

9:02am- No, not on the road yet, in line for Chick-fil-a. I have a slight obsession with their sweet tea and chicken biscuits. As I am on vacation the carbs do not count. The line, like at any Chick-fil-a is long, but so worth it for that incredible chicken. Suddenly Big Papi rushes out of the car and runs literally like a little girl- arms flapping about to the trash can to throw away something. As he runs back I am looking him like my husband just jumped off the short bus. Finally get our food, and get on the interstate, finally officially on our way.

9:41- Joy, the first temper tantrum from the Caveman as we are barely leaving the Peninsula area heading to Richmond. We are currently listening to what the Caveman describes as ‘drums.’ Drums are songs that have good amount of drumming in them because he likes to drum along. Really cute most of the time but not when the radio starts breaking up and suddenly my adorable Caveman becomes a two year old hysterical maniac. It gets so bad that I threaten to take us home if he doesn’t stop we will turn the car around and there will be no Elmo ever. At that moment I have become a full fledge grown-up.

10:19- I am informed by the Caveman that the car is in time out. No wait he wants to listen to Coldplay’s “Viva la Viva” and is drumming away.

11:00- Make a gas stop in Fredericksburg and I need to potty. Of course Big Papi being a man suggests that I simply use the restroom at the gas station. Okay, maybe I am a snob but since I am a girl I don’t want my lady parts on a restroom at a gas station. Particularly a gas station that isn’t set up for public use. I do not have a germ phobia, but still the thought of using the bathroom that only the employees use, creeps me out. How do we know when the last time that bathroom was cleaned properly? I realize that this could and does apply to public restrooms but at least most places will attempt to keep those clean. I use the excuse that the Caveman needs to run off some energy so I suggest we find a McDonald’s with an indoor playground and let him play for a half hour. Big Papi agrees, and I use the potty- very clean with toilet paper and soap thank goodness. And we let the Caveman play while snacking on French fries.

I realize at this moment I should have brought the camera inside because Big Papi in all his 6’7 glory is trying to go through the tunnels of the play place with the Caveman. Hilarious.

After about a half hour we inform the Caveman that McDonald’s needs a nap and we have to leave. The Caveman isn’t buying it and screams so loudly people must think that my husband and I are kidnapping him.

11:10 am – Caveman finally calms down when I put in Drowning Pools “Let the Bodies Hit the Floor.” He is happily drumming along; I should be mommy of the year.

1:00 pm- Near the BWI airport and stop at an office complex to have lunch. At this point both kids are over being in the car seats. After out lunch both kids are screaming and Big Papi is getting on my nerves because the kids are getting on his nerves. I am now realizing that maybe I should have planned spa weekend with the girls. Family togetherness is just silly. The Caveman is now rocking to Rage Against the Machine’s “Renegades of Funk.” We are half way there, thank goodness.

1:55 pm- Finally I-95 to New York. Seriously the Caveman is in his second timeout. Car timeouts consist of mommy taking away his drum sticks and no music at all. This time out is because the Caveman doesn’t want to listen to what mommy and daddy want to listen to. Is he too young for his own i-pod with ear phones?

2:08 pm- We are on a bridge outside of Baltimore that is really high. Completely forgot that Big Papi hates really tall bridges. He is breathing in and out which I find hysterical. I know I shouldn’t be making fun of a real fear but the world’s tallest man can’t handle a bridge.

Bridge is over and coming up to a toll plaza. $5.00 dollars for a toll- outrageous! The song on the radio is “Apologize” by One Republic. Caveman still isn’t excited about the song selection and Big Papi still looks like he needs a valium. Alien is eating her own foot.

2:51pm- Saw a giant billboard that says “I hate Steven Singer.” I don’t know who Steven Singer is but that is a really expensive way to show that you hate him who ever paid for that billboard. Song of the radio is “Love Song” by the Cure.

3:01pm- Outside of Philadelphia and we encounter a police car. Not a state trooper, no this was for the postal police. The post office has its own police department? Maybe that is why the stamps are so expensive.

I stopped taking notes after this because we did get a little confused about an exit- not clearly marked. The best part about that was a car next to us asked us for directions. Yeah did you not realize we are in Pennsylvania and our plates say we are from Virginia. The car is also looking for the exit we are trying to take and when we inform them we do not know where we are going they decide to follow us. I feel a little like the Amazing Race as do your own direction getting folks!

After that we finally find the exit and glorious sighting of the hotel is in front of us. We check in, the room is clean and we are renting a mini fridge for $10 dollars a day. Big Papi unloads the car as I am trying to keep the Caveman from opening the door and the Alien out of the toilet water. I prepare dinner for the kids and then the Caveman and Big Papi spend two hours in the pool. The Alien and I spent some quality time of tickling.

It is now almost 9:00 and I am beat. The Caveman and Alien are wiped out and Big Papi and I are watching CBS comedies and sitting in the most comfy desk chair in the world. More adventures to come tomorrow.

Sesame Place or Bust!

So it is 5:30 in the morning, what am I doing awake? The Alien and Caveman household is driving to Sesame Place today!

There is a perk to this mommy thing especially these types of mornings where everyone is still asleep. I am really looking forward to the memories that my family will create- and that is what I am thinking of while looking at the mess my house is in because of packing.

Packing last night was interesting because the Caveman is in his ‘why’ stage. I started with his clothes first because we are truly blessed to have people with kids just barely bigger than he is so we receive a lot of hand me downs. Hand me downs are great for the environment and budget; seriously more families should swap clothes. We have just received a large amount of clothes from the Alien’s regular day care sitter (who is incredible btw) for the Caveman. I just haven’t had an opportunity to go through the pile. And the Caveman is getting taller- so tall. I compared pictures the other day of the same time last year with my brand-new Alien coming home and seeing the Caveman looking at her. He was a baby! Seriously he is now all little boy, asking questions and throwing tantrums. The Caveman can catch and throw a ball; he can put on his own shoes.

And the Alien is walking! Last night she started to say “uh-oh” which is so cute and probably the influence of the fact that the Caveman says that a lot.

I have been so busy with my school and marriage issues that maybe I haven’t been paying close enough attention to these little kids that are quickly growing. I think though that if I am honest even if I were a stay-at-home mom I would still be amazed that my children are growing so quickly.

While we are in Sesame Place I am going to do my best to blog about our adventures each evening. Wish us luck and safe journey- and help us think the clouds away.

Good men must die, but death can not kill their names

So I can tell you how to get to Sesame Place, but I am not sure I want to go there right now.

This weekend should have been filled with anticipation for getting on the road with the Caveman, Alien, and Big Papi, but it wasn’t. This Sunday should have gone quickly because I had too much to do. Instead the seconds ticked as slowly as a child anticipating the arrival of Santa.

On Friday while sitting at my desk at work I received a call from Dude-pa, my step father. He called me to give me the news that my Pastor Stowe had passed away.

Pastor Stowe is the man who made me understand my faith and the importance of my role as spiritual guardian of my children. I met this man when I was 15, and while I appreciated his role I didn’t understand how important he was to forming the grown-up I am today.

When my parents decided to join Gloria Dei church I wanted no part of the church or relationship with God they were creating. I wasn’t ready. I didn’t think I believed in Jesus, God, the Holy Spirit. Actually if I’m honest I didn’t believe that God believed in me.

Pastor Stowe always believed in me. When I married Big Papi I actually decided to have the other pastor at our church marry us. I do not regret this as Pastor Freeborne is a man I admire and respect. Pastor Stowe still came to my wedding along with his beautiful wife Joy. I have amazing pictures of them dancing. When I had the Caveman I suddenly longed for the comfort of Pastor Stowe to lead my child to the water.

Getting ready for the baptism of my Caveman, I remember sitting in the Nave with Pastor Stowe and asking him about joining the church. He offered to come to our house, even while he had so much to do and was in ill health, to help bring Big Papi on board. Luckily Big Papi agreed to attend Pastor’s class, which is how one becomes a member of Gloria Dei. I am so thankful that I was able to share that time with Pastor Stowe.

During Pastor’s class I learned that we were all ‘cracked pots’ as Pastor Stowe would call us. Even he was included in the cracked pot category. Most people, particularly men of power have a way of not showing vulnerability. Pastor Stowe welcomed his imperfections and embraced other’s. He had a way of explaining God’s love that made you feel a part of Pastor Stowe’s journey. If Pastor Stowe was talking to you it was always with you never down to you. Though wise he never boasted his knowledge. He accepted people as they were at that moment always seeing the possibilities.

My daughter was one of the last children he baptized, and that is incredibly special. Pastor Stowe loved performing baptisms and felt that bringing children to the water of Christ was a parent’s important responsibility. I think that is why he loved the school so much. Gloria Dei has a wonderful elementary school and day care program. Pastor Stowe did not have children of his own as he told me because he knew he could not be the father he wanted to be and still be the pastor he was expected to be.

As I sat through church service today and saw the many people there with tears in their eyes and sorrow in their hearts I felt that I had lost a grandfather. It was then I realized that every person sitting in that church, every child that sat in the classrooms were his children.

Dude-pa would not be the man he is without Pastor Stowe; I never got to thank Pastor Stowe for that.

My husband would not have a relationship with Jesus without the influence of Pastor Stowe. I need to thank Pastor for that as well.

My children have an amazing church home to grow in because of the hard work Pastor Stowe did.

If you are a person that prays, please pray for the congregation of Gloria Dei. Our grandfather has died and I feel lost. I know that Pastor Stowe had been sick for a long time, and now he is at peace. Many people loved this man, and the best part about Pastor Stowe is that he truly loved everyone.

This world is not ever going to see a man of his quality. In fact we were just fortunate to have him for how ever brief of a time we did get him.

Goodbye for now Pastor Stowe. I am craving one of your big bear hugs. Thank you for loving me and believing in my faith, especially when I did not believe in myself.

One Small Step For Alien

So the Alien seems to have sprouted legs all the sudden.

The last few months she has become an expert crawler, able to quickly follow the Caveman and get into all sorts of trouble. Then came the standing up- my, she is so tall.

Today I saw my baby take some steps and I realized that this is my last time seeing these things from my children as babies.

Now, I hope you realize I am not the type of mommy who wallows in every single milestone her children experience. I have the baby books- that I haven’t filled out. And the poor Alien I haven’t taken nearly enough pictures of. Seriously the worse mommy is me sometimes. I just don’t seem the need to have the camera with me when the kid is doing something cute or interesting.

See what happens is the Alien will do something so precious I could just eat her up- seriously how cute is my baby! But, the Caveman will do something that requires me to get band-aids and the naughty stool. Or the Caveman is being so sweet playing with his sister but then the second I get the camera the Alien turns into something from Nightmare on Elms Street complete with color changing skin and screams of terror.

It would help if Big Papi would actually try to take a picture once in awhile. In all relationships there is the picture taker and the other guy. Big Papi is the other guy and as we get ready for our big family trip to Sesame Place- seven days- I am wondering if I am going to be in any of the pictures?

Boyhood right of passage

So the Caveman has decided to waste no time proving that he is in fact all boy.

A few days ago I pick up the Caveman at preschool and go by his cubby and find a note. The note is from one of his teachers explaining that during nap time the Caveman was playing “moneys jumping on the bed.” Like the song goes one fell off and bumped his head. Only the Caveman fell off and hit his elbow.

Now the note told me that he cried and screamed but calmed down. Then during playtime anytime he would move his arm he would scream. So the teachers brought the Caveman inside and had the director of the preschool look at his arm. He was able to move it and it wasn’t swollen but she felt that I should know about it.

Fast forward to a mom running late to pick up her child because she has to get dinner into him and her as both are going to vacation bible school that evening. Only when I examined his arm his little hand was starting to swell and he wouldn’t let me touch his arm.

Loading the Caveman into the car I call Big Papi and let him know “hey AJ’s arm could be broken” YIKES! Seriously did I go there to that place where I am envisioning casts and more doctors appointments. Plus we are less than two weeks from our Sesame Place vacation. So I call Crazy Grandma who is a massage therapist to get her to look at the arm first. I do this for two reasons, one to validate that I am not an over protected mommy, and two to make sure that it isn’t that serious to go to the emergency room.

Well Crazy Grandma confirmed that I was not a over protected mom and that a trip to the emergency room was in order.

Now I have a choice to take him to our local emergency room or drive through rush hour traffic to take the Caveman to the children’s hospital. Thank goodness the Alien’s babysitter had no problem keeping the Alien longer so that we didn’t have to worry about her and the Caveman.

Big Papi, the Caveman, and I arrive at the Children’s Hospital of the Kings Daughter’s emergency room after fighting through a tunnel and silly slow drivers. I mean, come on don’t people know that I have a hurt Caveman in the back seat. At this point I am stressed out, my baby is in pain and Big Papi can’t seem to figure out where to park. I tell him the garage and he completely goes to another spot that has no parking. We go back to the parking lot. Then Big Papi wants to walk on the outside- I tell him it would be easier to go through the hospital. I am right again.

We finally make it to the actual emergency room where a cop, yes a cop with a gun in a children’s emergency room (WTF)! He gets the nurse who does some vitals and then sends us out to wait. Sitting next to us is a family with grandparents, aunts, and uncles all crying. At that moment I take a deep breath and thank God that though my child is hurt I at least know the worse thing could be a broken arm. All the sudden the family is being asked to go to the back and clergy is being called. I never saw that family again but my hope is that my instinct isn’t right and that child is fine.

After that I promised myself that no matter what I will not panic. Another nurse calls us and takes us back to an examination room. The Caveman is actually very charming and it shows why a children’s hospital is a need resource in a community. These medical professionals are able to get him to cooperate. The doctor is also wonderful and explains we will need x-rays to get some answers.

That is where the screaming starts. The x-ray techs could not have been more kind but need us to help hold the Caveman down and get his arm into the right positions. There is no pain worse for a mother or even a dad then having to be in a position to hurt your child. My child was screaming in agony and I was causing it.

The x-rays showed that the Caveman simply dislocated his elbow and the doctor just popped it right back in. Ten minutes later he has a red Popsicle in his hand and is laughing as the doctor blows bubbles in the air. A happy meal later and the Caveman is fine. Four days later I am still upset.

Guess who's back, back again!

So, I was hiding.

I know, I know, prompt blog writers are at it everyday. However I am assuming that most blog writers are not attending classes in the summer time- sixteen weeks worth of education squeezed into ten. This summer to say the least has been interesting.

The first big news is that the Alien turns one today! Seriously amazing; this time last year I was getting hooked up to meds that forced the birth of my child, not pleasant. Now the Alien is this bright, shiny sunshine in my life. Her sparkling blue eyes that light up when I walk into the room. The cries of “ma- ma” (yes actually calling me ma-ma.) She is starting to stand on her own and attack the Caveman, at a kid level life is good.



Another piece of amazing news is that I am a proper Wahoo! This tidbit I have been holding out sharing because part of me still does not believe that a path I stepped on almost twenty years ago is finally clear of the biggest road hazard. Virginia actually wants me. Yet, there is a line from the musical Wicked where Glenda finally gets what she wants and sings “That’s why I couldn’t be happier, no I couldn’t be happier. But, it is I admit the tiniest bit unlike I anticipated.” When you want something so bad, when it becomes everything you are working for and then you actually get what you want so then what?



The big thing going on this summer however is not all sunshine like a one-year old birthday or the accomplishment of finally being accepted at the one place I have been pressing my nose against the glass since I was 12. No the biggest news is that Big Papi and I are in a rough patch and are currently in couple’s therapy. This period in my life has been painful and lonely because I have not wanted to share this with too many people. Who wants to have a conversation about why you think your marriage of less than four years is not working. Plus sharing it with the world, especially people who are not involved with our daily lives is scary because the judgment that comes with a woman complaining that her man isn’t enough.


Yes, I said it. Imagine being on a long beach holding a rope and dragging everyone on a sled. My kids, house, career, dreams, hope, vision are all on this sled. Right now I am pulling it alone, without help from my husband. Now, let me be very clear Big Papi is a good, kind man. He is an amazing father. I love him; made children with him, that’s why as I type tears are welling up.

Big Papi is not living to his potential in many ways. Some days that sled is really heavy with all that I have put on it. Once in awhile I want him to help pull the rope or get some stuff off my sled and carry it awhile for me. So much is on a mom’s plate because if the kids are hurting it is the mother who is judge. Big Papi isn’t doing his part getting us to the next step.

I don’t feel comfortable explaining exactly what is going on, but he has the opportunity to finish something every important and is unwilling to find out how to finish. This goal is one that so many people want to accomplish, and he has at most six months work to do to complete. Frustratingly he gives no reason for finishing or promises to get the information and never does.


He is 32 and at this very moment is perfectly happy to stay as he is. As I change and grow, especially reaching my 30s I want my husband to grow with me. My fear is that I as I grow, I grow further away from him.

"You're in control is there anywhere you want to go" Wait.. not you guys!

So the other night was an event Big Papi and I had been looking forward to for months. Coldplay was in town and we had lawn tickets.

Now for those who are unaware, the Virginia Beach Verizon Amphitheatre is a great venue for seeing concerts. Big Papi and I, before our adventures in parent land, saw Coldplay there and they were AMAZING! What a fan based show. If you love Coldplay you should so see them live, seriously a great show.

Because of my devotion to Coldplay we purchased tickets the minute they became available on the lawn- which is a large grassy hill with first come first serve seating. A few weeks ago the Amphitheatre announced that they would be offering discounted tickets to some of their upcoming shows. The Fray, another favorite in the Alien/Caveman household, was part of that group- but they had Pit tickets right in front of the stage on sale- so I got two for Big Papi’s father’s day gift. Then, because curiosity got the better of me I thought why not look at the Coldplay tickets and see if there happened to be better tickets on sale.

YES! Seriously could not believe my eyes when I saw that I could get Pit tickets for Coldplay for less than $30 dollars each! Immediately I place my ticket order, and sure enough received two emails confirming ticket purchases.

Now what to do with the extra Coldplay tickets?

I decided to give them to friends of ours, Dr. Richie who is the world’s best vet, and the Bugg.

So the night of the show the kids are at a babysitter’s house and Big Papi and I head to will call to pick up our Pit tickets. First, the lady at the will call office does not have our tickets. Then the lady checks my last name and sees that yes we purchased Coldplay tickets. She prints out said tickets but they say “LAWN.” I am beginning to get upset. I say, “I paid for Pit tickets! Where are my Pit tickets, I know I have lawn tickets but I also bought Pit tickets!” The lady gets her manager, who proceeds to tell me that the Amphitheatre has not had Pit tickets for Coldplay for almost a month. I explain “well your website let me buy Pit tickets when y’all did the sale!” The lady said she would love to see the email, which of course my dumb butt didn’t think to print out. So there we were with lawn tickets, no pit tickets and oh yeah the Bugg and Dr. Richie are on their way!

I call my credit card company who ensure me that yes I did in fact make two purchases for tickets. Okay, so at this point I am upset because I might not be able to see my most favorite band on the planet because of a missing email! I convince Big Papi to drive across the street, losing our great parking space, so that I can check my email at the TCC’s library. Sure enough I did not purchase two Coldplay tickets but four Fray tickets.

I am in tears at this point, thinking that I am going to have to give up my tickets all together. Big Papi says no we are seeing this concert! So we get back into traffic and get into an argument because since I was the one to make such a huge mistake that we should buy new tickets and let the Bugg and Dr. Richie use ours. Big Papi does not like this, and tries to convince Dr. Richie of it but Dr. Richie was right that they were our guests and we should buy tickets. So Big Papi agrees finally and we head to meet them at the front gate.

As we are heading up they call us and say that why don’t we just see the show. They are going to another friend’s house to smoke cigars and drink beer.

At this point I am so ashamed of my mistake and also mad that Big Papi didn’t immediately say “look our bad we’ll get new tickets.” So when we get up to the ticket gate I see the Bugg and Dr. Richie off to the side and I want to go over and say I’m sorry, but I just couldn’t face them. You see these two guys are great; every person should be lucky enough to have friends like these. Here I am screwing it up over money basically and the fact that I did not make sure that I had the correct information.

The show was great, in fact Coldplay actually did a set on a stage in the lawn which I have never seen done. Yet, the whole time I felt horrible, especially during the song “Fix You” where the song starts:

When you try your best, but you don't succeed

When you get what you want, but not what you need

When you feel so tired, but you can't sleep

Stuck in reverse

And the tears come streaming down your face

When you lose something you can't replace

When you love someone, but it goes to waste

Could it be worse?

Seriously at that moment I couldn’t stand the way I behaved that I once again let my emotions get the better of me. After the show we called the boys, and they sounded like they were having a fine time. Dr. Richie even told me a story about how he messed up an online purchase recently and that it could happen to anyone. I did offer Dr. Richie the other pair of Fray tickets since I originally gave him the pair of tickets, which he gladly accepted. Then he said something that amazed me and showed me why I want to be his friend in the first place. He said, “I was just honored that you would give me the tickets in the first place. That was really cool, thanks.”

After I wasted his time he said thanks to me. I have never been so humbled.

Now I am trying to convince the Bugg to let me buy him a ticket to the Fray if he also wants to come. He hasn’t called back yet, though I did talk to him the morning after. My hurting him is worse because for the last six months he has been one of my biggest supporters in dealing with the decision to attend UVA. If I call he is there- and not just because he is my pastor but because he is my friend. And I think I blew it. It just sucks to let down friends. I just don’t know how to say to the Bugg and Dr Richie “and I will try to fix you.”

Adventures in my own life

So I just realized that my 29th birthday is a week away.

Wow, one more year left in my twenties. To be perfectly honest (and when have I not been honest with this blog?) I am ready for my twenties to be over. I have had some great years especially 2002 when Big Papi and I officially started dating. I became a wife and mom in my twenties. I also was fearful in my twenties because what twenty-something isn’t terrified that someone might find out that we don’t have all our stuff together.

At this point in my life I didn’t think I would be where I am, but who really thinks when they take a left on the path of life that it will take them to a certain place. Personally I am fulfilled- husband, kids. And I am starting to come around professionally, I think, well it depends on the hour of the day.

I had thoughts of a bigger life, with amazing adventures. I thought at 30 I would be a successful writer. I lost that dream in my twenties; I stopped writing because I didn’t feel I could make it. My thoughts were that no one would want to read the ramblings from my mind. I let doubt sink in. Now I feel like I am playing catch up. I doubt everyday that my dream of being a paid writer won’t come true.

Doubt, along with guilt, is a constant companion for moms. “Is the Caveman eating enough protein?” “Should I have tried harder to breastfeed my children?” “Will my children need to have therapy after someone realizes I have no idea what I am actually doing?” “Will I be able to raise the Alien to value her soul more than her dress size?” Doubt, I find is really just an outlet for fear.

Admitting I am a fearful person is new, but I am standing in my truth and guess what I am fearful. It isn’t just the times we are living in but I try to look at the big picture and I see all the thousands of ways I can screw up my kids’ lives. Then they’ll have to seek help from people like Brynne who works with the most troubled kids in the world.

Fear is an easy place to remain in your life because the only expectation of living in fear is not doing anything. I know that standing in fear does not work for my life goals but my personal fears of everything from moldy food to my children being taken in the night is almost like a security blanket. Enough fear means I’m off the hook from my life.

In ten years, I want to look back at the decade that was my thirties and I want to see growth, a little bit more money in my pocket, happy kids and husband. Maybe I should accept that the Caveman and Big Papi who are sleeping cuddled together next to me is my greatest adventure.

While it is very “Hallmark moment” to say that my kids and husband are my greatest adventure, well that is selling me short. My entire life is an adventure; I just need to learn to go along with the ride.

The very normal anniversary

So today is Big Papi and I’s third wedding anniversary.

Pretty exciting except for the fact it was a Wednesday and really how can you possibly celebrate anything well on a Wednesday.

Wednesdays are my days off from my real job, but a day usually filled with many errands. This week has been crazy with appointments. The Alien had her regular nine month well baby visit- except she wasn’t well at all. On Monday she had a temperature of 104! Seriously high for an alien in my opinion but never fear is an ear infection. Ear infections with kids are like boo boos- they’re going to get them. Ear infections are pains in my neck.

So today literally I had the following: personal training appointment (trainer didn’t show up), freelance article interview (subject 20 minutes late), lab appointment to get blood drawn (only had to be poked once, a miracle), hair appointment (if I had to chose between Big Papi or my stylist I would have a hard choice), then to work (I know its my day off but I do own the company) to make confirmation calls. At work I discovered that Big Papi sent me flowers! They are gorgeous! Tip to my male readers if you are sending flowers send to office place so that she may show them off.

Sounds like a fun filled day but then comes: diet counseling!

Today it was the RN who took a look at my food journal and told me I had lost 5 pounds. She also told me it was mainly water, but still 5 pounds is a lot. We also set my goals for this week- track how much water I’m drinking, keep my walking up, I can sub one of the snot shakes for a meal (yeah no thanks I want to eat real food when I can even if it is salad), and keep the carbs under 100 grams a day.

The other thing the center offers is education classes. My instructor is adorable- and today’s topic metabolism. Today I took away from the class that it takes only 3500 calories to make one pound of fat. I also stocked up on my protein bars- caramel not so bad.

Big Papi and I decided to celebrate the anniversary by going out to dinner. This was not a romantic candle lit dinner- because joining us was the Caveman and Alien. We decide to go to Outback because I could get a high protein meal there without feeling deprived. Well I had picked up the Caveman from preschool so I met Big Papi at the restaurant. Now let me say that Big Papi knew I had a hair appointment. But Big Papi has a habit of not noticing hair changes.

I think this is a DNA flaw with straight men- gay men almost always notice hair changes. I once changed my light brown hair to a striking red and it took Big Papi a week to notice. This wouldn’t be a problem except Big Papi is 6’7 compared to my 5’5 self. Hello!

Anyway so we sit down to eat and the Caveman looks at me and says “Mommy’s hair is pretty.” Then Big Papi says “Yeah your hair is cool.” He had to have the two year old remind him to complement his wife’s hair.

This is just one of the reasons I love Big Papi. He is adorably clueless. This is not mean- just the facts.

On top of spaghetti- oh wait sorry that have carbs.

So I have started my new diet plan, and well it is an adjustment to say the least.

The first big change is this jump off program that I have been involved with for a week. Each day I start out with a protein shake. The flavors are chocolate, which isn’t so bad as long as it is ice cold, the other vanilla. The vanilla shake when made is the consistency of snot. It even looks like yellow, thick snot, but it does taste like vanilla, well kind of. Then I have a high protein snack like a protein bar which is actually really good. Lunch is a big green salad with lean protein, like chicken or fish. I have another snack and then dinner is lean protein, some more salad and colorful veggies.

Have you noticed what I’m not eating? That’s right gang carbs! Seriously I vowed to never do a high protein diet- but here I am limited to 100 grams of carbohydrates a day. That isn’t a lot. A half cup serving of pasta for example has 43 grams of carbs. Who only eats a half cup of pasta at one time! So really the diet is based on eating lots of protein, fresh fruits and veggies. I also discount the amount of fiber grams from the total carbs. If the total amount of carbs on the package is 10 grams but there are 6 grams of fiber then I only count four grams to my daily total. The Diet Guru tells me to avoid “red flag” foods, those that I can’t stop eating once I started. Well guess what- I want some freakin carbs!

I have been having dreams of brown rice with champagne chicken. Mounds of pasta covered in pesto. Brownies!

The low carb think only lasts another week, but man this is so hard. Crazy Grandma has been very encouraging. She reminds me that last year I gave up all soda, even diet. I did survive that, but this is different. I am forced to plan my meals, which I know is a good thing. Yet for 28 years I have just done what I wanted. Yes that is probably why I am going through this process now- but damn it I am in my bedroom far away from the kitchen because I know a ton of pasta is in boxes waiting to be donated to the local food bank.

Before anyone messages me about the fact that I can have whole grain carbs it isn’t that simple for me. Bread, pasta, rice are all “red flag” foods for me. I can keep eating them until I want to throw up. This is something I have never revealed to anyone and yet here I am on the blog saying it out loud to God knows how many people. I am like an alcoholic but my drug of choice is food.

The other thing I have to do is write everything I eat down. I am starting to notice my personal triggers for junk food binges. One I am noticing is when I am on campus I have a desire to eat snack cakes. These are not things I normally eat, but the vending machine beckons saying, “put that dollar in me. That’s right. Now, now push the buttons. Oh just like that. I’ll give you what you like.” So the other day I do just that not thinking because it was right before I huge biology test and I was stressed. I purchased the item and turned around and saw the small snack cake had 83 grams of carbs! So I threw them away. That right there is a huge step for me because before I would have just eaten them without thinking about it. Without being truly hungry, I would inject months old snack cakes because really I was nervous about a test.

I am trying to find these victories every day. Some are better like yesterday my family went to an amusement park and I was surrounded by handmade fudge, giant soft pretzels, and towering ice cream cones. I didn’t buy any of it.

The no carb thing is also giving me a horrible headache all the time. The diet guru warned me about this happening, but man when the cravings hit my head feels like it is going to explode. This must be a very mild example of what it is like to withdraw from drugs.

I plan on keeping everyone posted because frankly I have never been on a diet where I told the world. Well if I am being honest with myself I have never been on a diet where I told anyone. To be on a diet feels like failure from the start because my body won’t do what I want it to. I want to be able to eat what I want when I wanted. My challenge is letting this go. I am not built to be able to eat anything because when I eat anything I don’t want to stop.

"Food, love, career, and mothers, the four major guilt groups". - Cathy Guisewite

So this weekend I realize that I can’t always be there for the Caveman and Alien’s first moments.

This weekend our church is hosting an Easter egg hunt which the Caveman is finally old enough to participate in. I have an algebra test on Saturday during the hunt. I am going to miss the Caveman holding his basket looking for eggs. I feel guilty.

When I was pregnant with the Caveman I was a manager of a Lotion Land working an average of 50 hours a week. I realized that my weekends and holidays would likely be spent in a mall selling lotion to the masses and not at baseball games, birthday parties, and holiday celebrations. I gave up that life because I wanted to be there for those important events in my children’s lives. Never did I imagine that even with this change there would still be certain moments I would miss.

This guilty feeling has me thinking that it is so important not to become so engrossed in the kids’ lives that you lose yourself. I saw this Monday’s Oprah and she was talking to moms. This conversation was different because they really talked about everything it is to be a mommy. The one theme that I realize is motherhood is sacrifice.

One of the members of the mommy panel mentioned that no one told her about the sacrifices you make to be a mommy. I thought that was silly at first because everyone should know the second you get pregnant you are already sacrificing happy hours, coffee, and sushi. Not to mention the actual birth process should be right up there for nomination of a Nobel Prize. I believe if men had to give birth there would be awards or Medals of Honor for surviving. The only Medal of Honor I have is the stretch marks- yeah those aren’t exactly exciting to show off. Or you should earn hazard pay for the amount of body fluids you come into contact with. I never knew how often a nine month old baby could pee.

No those sacrifices and the lack of sleep are to be expected. What I miss when I had children is the ability to leave the house without carrying at least one diaper bag. I long for the ability of being able to go out with my girlfriends without a conference with my husband. I no longer burn candles. I am a regular buyer of chocolate milk. I know all the words to the Elmo potty DVD. No adult should have to watch Elmo repeatedly- and if you do enjoy the Elmo as an adult seriously I believe you need help. The one thing that really annoys me is when I am finally able to sit down and eat my dinner after making sure the Caveman and Alien have had theirs is when the Caveman comes up and asks for a bite. We are trying to break him of this habit but it still involves me stopping my meal to tell him no.

The one thing no one could really prepare me for is the amount of guilt involved with kids. I feel guilty when I punish the Caveman. I feel guilty when I let the Alien cry it out in her crib instead of getting up from my bed. When I send the kids off in the morning with Big Papi to be dropped off at the preschool and sitter’s I feel guilty. When I write this blog and whine about all the little things that someday I’ll look back and wish I could have one more day of the Caveman and Alien’s antics, I feel guilty.
Guilt along with love is the constant emotion of motherhood. I challenge any mother to try to think of a moment when you do not feel guilty.

I don’t want people to think that motherhood is all bad but I agree with the comments from that show that you have to let go of the woman you were before kids, and not feel guilty about mourning her. Pre-mommy women are amazing and never realize how great they have it. My pre-mommy self will never fully coming back. This is hard for me to admit because I feel guilty for wanting her back. My children should complete me. Well guess what, I didn’t know I was incomplete in the first place.

For myself there is still traces of that fun loving independent woman, she just is a little more patient. Maybe that is the true beauty of being a mother; the life you change is not just your child’s but your own.

So this weekend, while the Caveman chases the Easter Bunny, I will be sharpening my pencils. I will be in a classroom reaching for myself so that I can better reach for my children. And Big Papi had better take a ton of pictures!

Can you be my hero baby? Can you make me some dinner?

So may I brag for a minute?

Big Papi was on deck this evening as it was Tuesday and that means Mommy is sitting in a biology lecture while he has the Caveman, Alien and dinner duties. Actually if I’m honest Big Papi has had to do a lot of watching the Caveman and Alien this semester. For me to achieve my dream of a college degree my family has had to sacrifice. In fact the family has had to make more sacrifices than I have.

I may be the one doing the studying, writing papers, and taking exams. The Caveman, Alien, and Big Papi are doing a lot of evenings without Mommy. Even when I am home I am often working on the laptop researching for government or writing biology definitions. Every Saturday I drive to algebra class leaving breakfast and Saturday morning activities to Big Papi. Sure I am giving up any amount of free time but in the end I get to have a college degree.

Big Papi hasn’t complained- in fact he has been incredibly supportive. The Alien and Caveman however, are another story as when Mommy is home they expect my full attention. I have learned that I have to balance my time with them along with my studies. Balancing is hard because sometimes I have to tell my family I have homework, because simply the professors could care less what is going on in my personal life. Sometimes I have to stay up late so that I can spend time with the kids. It is so bad that the Caveman will sometimes set up his toy laptop right next to mine and declare that he is working on homework. No two-year old should know about homework.

There is only six more weeks of being a full time student- I will never do that again as a proper grown up. I have been so focused on getting to the next step- and getting out of community college land that I didn’t think about the toll my family and self would face. For now on I will be a part-time student.

When I came home from lecture tonight Big Papi had dinner done and the Caveman was sitting at the table ready to go. The Alien was in her bouncy jumpy thingy- I never know what that thing is called- happily bouncing away. For the first time in a long time I was able to enjoy dinner with my entire family- and I didn’t worry about the lab quiz I have on Thursday or the algebra homework that is due on Saturday.

Big Papi is the reason for the bragging because simply he doesn’t get enough credit for everything he does for our family. Sure it is fun and therapeutic to write about his mistakes but I think as a wife it is important to let him shine once in a while.

So to Big Papi tonight you are my hero- tomorrow well hey I can only worry about today.

No that's mine Alien!

So the Caveman spent a good portion of the evening in timeout.

The reason the Caveman was in timeout is that the Alien is impressively crawling and wanting to go after the Caveman’s toys. The Caveman being a typical kid doesn’t want to share.

It goes down like this: the Alien will find a toy that interests her. She starts to play with it, okay puts it in her mouth. The Caveman will take the toy away and then give the Alien another toy and say “here.”

The Caveman could be in another room but he knows if the Alien is messing with his stuff. In this case he will actually take the toy from her hand and not give her another toy. Which makes the Alien cry and then I have to put the Caveman in timeout because he should share with the Alien. Or more likely he should want to share with the Alien.

Sharing I am noticing is a hard concept for the average two year old to understand. To be honest as a twenty eight year old woman I don’t like sharing my stuff. If you let someone borrow your favorite sweater it never returns in the same way. Plus some items are truly special so why should I have to share it with others?

Thinking about this I started to wonder why am I making the Caveman share his toys with his younger sister? Seriously, is it so bad to actually have a kid cherish something to the point where he doesn’t want to share it with anyone? When did the idea of sharing become letting others use your stuff? Yet, I realize that if I don’t teach the kids how to share then how will I raise citizens of the world?

The actual definition of sharing is the act of participation or of being involved. So how is letting other people use my stuff being involved? I think the concept of sharing that I want to teach the Caveman and Alien is that sharing is not only an act but a mindset. It isn’t enough to have things to share- things are simply things. To truly share is to do what the definition says- get involved.

My goal as a mother is that my children understand that their actions matter. That their interactions with other people matter and can make a difference and the people that come across my children leave better.

I guess to teach the two year old Caveman the concept that it is not acceptable to take toys from his sister simply because that particular toy is his is a good thing. The adult Caveman will hopefully thank me someday.

It takes a village to fit into my skinny jeans

So I finally made a huge choice to take control of my health.

I have always been heavy but after having the Caveman and Alien I have ballooned into something between the blob and Slimmer from Ghostbusters. I can’t find pants that work. I don’t remember the last time I was able to walk into a store and find something really cute to wear has been awhile. Well with the exception of the amazing coat I purchased from Lane Bryant in January

At almost 30 years old I am tipping the scales at my largest size ever and it is scary. The problem is I have been working really hard at exercising, watching my fat and carbs- without any real results. So frustrating!

The other problem is since the Alien was born is that I am super tired. My monthly friend” has been visiting every two weeks. I am irritable and even with eight hours of sleep I never feel rested.

The problem with feeling this way is that is feels like defeat. Giving birth is performing the most amazing miracle God has ever created. My body now I feel is betraying me after doing so well with my children. I feel like a failure because I haven’t bounced back to my pre-baby weight.

I bet a lot of other mommies feel the same way. Between everything a mom has to go through for her children it is a wonder than most women are still upright.

So I am asking for help. I am checking to make sure that my body chemistry is where it is suppose to be. Even doing this I still feel like a failure because I can’t exercise enough or starve myself thin. I don’t think I am made that way.

To feel like an awesome mommy you can’t ask for help. You are supposed to “raise” your own kid and not drop them with a grandparent or gasp a day care! There should be no village. Especially with something so mundane as what really is a silly issue such as my weight.

Well this mommy is asking the village- help!

On April’s Fools day I am hoping to get some answers to why my body isn’t working- and I am hoping that Dr. Clarke doesn’t think that I am a joke.

You can lay an egg but can you make it hatch?

So the potty has become the place to be in the Alien and Caveman household. Supposedly the Caveman has been going potty in the toilet at school no problem. Yet when he comes home the idea of going potty in the potty seems silly. What is a mommy to do?

Bribery my friends, bribery.

Currently residing in the main potty in our house is a jar of yummy Reese’s peanut butter Easter eggs. The rule: the Caveman goes pee pee or poo poo in the big boy potty he get a piece of candy. I have heard from other mommies that this method works, particularly for boys.

Well, today I tried this approach and the following conversation took place:

Mommy: “Caveman if you go pee pee or poo poo in the potty you get candy!”
Caveman: “I want candy!”
Mommy: “Okay then go poo poo or pee pee please.”
Caveman: [now sitting on the potty] “All done! Candy!”
Mommy: [looks in the potty] “You did not. No candy until you go poo poo or pee pee.”
Caveman: “Do you need to go potty mommy?”
Mommy: “No, I need for Caveman to go potty.”
Caveman: “Mommy’s poo poo?”
Mommy: “No honey, you need to poo poo. Mommy is all done.”
Caveman: [Tries to get up] “All done! Candy, please”
Mommy [looks in the potty] “You did not go potty, no candy.”
Caveman “I WANT CANDY!!”
Mommy: “NO! Candy only for poo poo or pee pee”
Caveman: “Mean mommy!”
Mommy: “Thank you. Are you going potty or not?”
Caveman: “No! All done” [gets off of potty and pulls up the training pants and his jeans]

Ten minutes later I am cleaning up after he goes potty in his training pants. At least he didn’t ask to have candy for that.

I am over this potty training thing. The worst part is that this is the first thing in a long run of things that teachers will be able to get my child to do that I am not able to get him to do.

Someone told me that the Alien will be easier. I think at this point in the Caveman going potty in the potty at home is more challenging than getting President Obama an invitation to be on the 700 Club.

I realize that some day and more likely soon the Caveman will abandoned his training pants for big boy underwear. I am just wondering how many chocolate peanut butter eggs it will take?

When Mommy is sick well Big Papi is alright

So sickness had clouded the Caveman and Alien household this week and mommy was the biggest victim. I could go into details but let’s just say that this time it involved not being able to eat anything other than crackers and many trips to the bathroom.

I’m not sure which brought in the germs- I think the Alien but the Caveman has many friends at school. Everyone is so excited when the Caveman shows up. Especially the teachers who let him have his “special seat” in the lunch room for breakfast and lunch. (Seriously they have actually offered to move the kid who dared to sit in his seat. I have explained that the Caveman will get over it, they ignore me and give him an extra hug.) Could an extra hug have given the germs to pass on to the mommy?

I try my best not to get what the kids have- but this time no doing mommy got it in a big way. The problem is when mommy is down the whole household stops. Actually that isn’t true Big Papi is awesome at making sure kids get fed and bathed, and even put to bed. He even brought me toast and water.

But, I feel so guilty being in bed when I should just suck it up and get going. Come on women in third world countries do not have the luxury of being sick- just doesn’t happen. Even other mommies I know are able to get going. I feel slightly defeated that a little stomach flu had me in bed. But, I am so proud of Big Papi for keeping everything together I could just burst!

However a day later I am feeling so much better. I still feel a little out of it, and I haven’t tried eating anything but toast in the last 24 hours, but compared to yesterday I could run a marathon. Okay maybe not a marathon but am I feeling much better.

Sunny Days, thinking the clouds away

So you’ve just finished your associates degree what are you going to do next?

“I’m going to Sesame Place!”

What? I can hear you thinking it. Why on earth would a person celebrate earning their associate’s degree in social sciences by driving five hours to a theme park for preschoolers?

Well hello I am the proud mommy of a caveman and alien! This happened by chance because Busch Gardens Williamsburg is adding a whole Sesame Street section to its park. For those who do not know many of my favorite memories involve going to Busch Gardens, riding roller coasters in the theme of old world Europe (of course without serfs, wars, and the plague). While on the website for Busch Gardens to check out this new area as I am realizing the Caveman is getting old enough to enjoy some of these things, I notice a link to the actual Sesame Place. Located in Pennsylvania, it is an entire theme park based on the famous sunny days, thinking the clouds away show.

This was just curious looking as being a full time student on Pell grant and student loans with two kids and a Big Papi could never afford this type of trip. Well first we would need hotel rooms and the tickets at $50.00 plus a day. And this being a theme park for preschoolers – the Caveman’s entrance would also require a ticket, the Alien being under 24 months would get in for free. Still my curiosity kept me looking further and then I found it- the buy 2 get 1 night free- and upgraded tickets to Sesame Place season passes deal. Okay, yeah the first packages started at 800.00! (If I’m spending that much money I might as well go for the big bang and do Disney World). I scrolled down and saw a package starting at $350.00- wait what? Seriously a family of four vacation for under $400.00 dollars? Impossible! It must be a mistake!

It isn’t! So now Big Papi and I are checking the site everyday to see if the deal is there- but here is the good thing- the prices are really there. Now there are two hotels that are around that price.

So Big Papi and I had a conference- if we cut our eating out and grocery shopping down for a month and along with some savings we can afford this trip. And we can even have breakfast with Elmo! The Caveman is all about some Elmo.

This is actually really doable because I have a freezer full of chicken breast that I can use for meals. So for a few weeks the only things I am buying at the grocery store are perishables, milk, eggs, and formula if the Alien runs out. We are breaking out the crock pot and clearing out the fridge, freezer, and pantry. Even with Easter coming up I am going to use what we have for side dishes and desserts (other than the ham because what is Easter without ham?).

For my family this is a big deal because when I quit my very well paying job at Lotion Land our income was cut in half. Then when I became a real estate agent we were paying more that we were bringing in. And the medical bills from having two kids aren’t cheap. Plus the economy is a scary thing right now. Yet, we only live once and the Caveman and Alien are getting older by the day. If we wait too long the opportunity to go to a place where you can believe brownstones are filled with furry brightly colored monsters will be gone.

More updates to follow but come this August I’ll be able to “tell you how to get, how to get to Sesame Street.”

Oh the golden joys of family life

So this morning Big Papi, with the Caveman’s help, decide to give me an experience: the Caveman urinated all of my school stuff. Now we are currently potty training the Caveman but this event was not because the Caveman wanted to no the real reason is the lack of consideration from the other parent in my life.

I realize this was an accident but I am mad beyond belief- not at the Caveman but at Big Papi who basically lost his mind this morning. The typical morning routine for the Caveman and Alien house is the following.

1. The Caveman and Big Papi share a shower together- this is great because baths use a lot of water and the Caveman seems to enjoy the showers. And before some crazy reader goes, “parents shouldn’t be naked in front of their kids,” starts on me until the Caveman and Alien realize what naked really means.
2. The Caveman gets wrapped in a towel and he and Big Papi go into his room to at least get a pull-up on so the Caveman can run around like cavemen do.
3. At this point I am awake and work on getting the Alien ready for the babysitter and then work with Big Papi to get the Caveman ready for school.
4. Everyone is dressed and ready to go- Big Papi packs up the kids and they all leave for work and school. The mommy then usually goes to the gym before getting ready in the wonderful and rare silence of the household.
   

This morning, however, Big Papi decided instead of putting the pull-up on the Caveman right away Big Papi chose to brush his teeth and sets the now naked Caveman loose and shows up at my bedside where the biology textbook and notes I was working on into the wee hours of the morning still remained. The other problem with this is that I notice the Caveman is naked and tell Big Papi, “um yeah please put a pull-up on him. Why are you brushing your teeth right now?”

Big Papi responds, “I’ll get to it in a minute.” I again ask and get irritated “Honey, seriously get a pull-up on him what are you doing that is so important that can’t wait five minutes?” Big Papi rolls his eyes (and that is always pleasant) and just at that moment the Caveman goes potty all over my school materials.

“Big Papi! Quick he’s peeing all over my stuff!” I exclaim jumping out of the bed. Big Papi quickly jumps and tried to grab the delighted Caveman. Was there an apology right away? NO! Instead Big Papi says nothing about the fact my very expensive school materials are now covered in two-year old toddler pee-pee.

Now I get I could have gotten my butt out of bed immediately and grabbed the Caveman before he went potty. I’ll be honest I was trying to get just a few more hours of sleep since the Caveman spent yet another night with his feet pressing into mommy’s kidneys. Also I was up studying for a biology lab quiz I have this evening. I didn’t go to sleep until one and being almost 30 that is really late.

I am not mad at the Caveman; he didn’t know what he did. Yet Big Papi, who finally said that he was sorry but also added that if the Caveman had done this to his stuff that he wouldn’t have been upset.
Bull!

I can give you an endless list of Big Papi being upset because the Caveman has messed with the computer, or climbed into the entertainment center. The Caveman and Big Papi have gone to battle over the DVDs being pulled out. The funniest is when the Caveman, with mommy’s permission, pulls out every pot and pan (with matching lids). Big Papi hates this!

But, according to Big Papi’s words this morning he would be okay because this was an accident. This wasn’t an accident- unless I find a thirty year old male brain around. Obviously Big Papi has lost his. So now instead of going to the gym I will be washing toddler pee off of my stuff.

Oh the joys of family life.

Tying Up Loose Ends

So being a college student in my late 20s is interesting. The first thing is the constant comparisons to my former college experience that wasn’t fulfilling other than my internship in Disney World and my work in school council and on the newspaper. I think the biggest difference is that the motivator for me going to school is to tie up loose ends.

I have a habit of starting things and not finishing them. College is one of those things. I wanted to go away to school for many reasons that don’t seem that important at this stage in my life. When I attended my first college I felt lost. I didn’t find my way and I was very unhappy. I messed up a few semesters and failed quite a few classes. The school year before the internship I was doing well, working for the school paper. I had actually made a group of friends on campus and was finding my spot. Then I lost my job with Lotion Land the first time (another story for another time) and the opportunity to go away seemed really appealing. I was 21 in a bad relationship (again another story) and wanted to be my own person somewhere else. I actually was accepted byDisney and in the field I wanted to work in, which I couldn’t believe because the competition is strong.

Orlando changed who I was. I dumped the bad boyfriend. Single for the first time in five years I was at first lonely and once again felt lost. Quickly it suddenly became routine to see Mickey everyday or watch a family come in from an afternoon storm and stock up on oversize lollipops and mouse ears. Even in the country’s darkest time (I was one of the cast members who helped close the Magic Kingdom on September 11th) I still felt comfort when an international guest said “we’re with you.” I learned who I was without my parents, a boyfriend, or even my group of friends. For the first time in my life I was truly myself, loud, opinionated without shame. I didn’t have the baggage of having a past. The experience was liberating.

Then I came back and everything on campus had changed. The friends I had made the year before had either graduated or were different. Even my position on campus had changed within the newspaper. All the progress I made the year before was gone and I had to start at square one. I didn’t like my classes and I was just over the whole thing. I quit.

Looking back I realized that I didn’t ask for help from the college when I needed it. I jumped into 300 level English courses without waiting to take the basic freshman-sophomore courses. Not using the resources on campus was a disadvantage of being a commuter student.

This time I am doing everything right and it shows in my happiness and success so far. The first thing I did when deciding to go back to school was consult with people who actually knew about college. Then I actually talked to the counseling department about what direction should I go and what classes should I take. These small steps have made all the difference.

The other thing I am noticing is the practical application of the knowledge I am soaking in. Just the other day I was in a debate over government involvement over the smoking ban pasted by the Virginia Assembly I was able to quote Abigail Adams. Or today when a client was on the phone and said he last name was “Krebs” and I said “oh like the Krebs’ cycle” and the guy said “wow, hardly anyone knows about that.” (The Krebs cycle is a part of photosynthesis you should Wikipedia it).

Yet, the main reason that I am excited about the prospect of finishing my degree is that it gives me a paper saying that I am able to complete something. It shows to others that I am able to set a goal, follow the steps and finish.

My challenge is for everyone to find one loose end, no matter how small and tie it up. I think that loose ends are really the regrets of our lives. The things we wish we could change. It could be something as simple as finally reading War and Peace or learning how to knit. Or maybe it is a bigger goal- like a college education. My hope is that by finishing my college experience the way I want I will stay out of the way of the Caveman and Alien when it is their time at bat.

A Scouting Wardrobe Malfunction.

So the other day Big Papi and I were attending the 11:00 church service. The 11:00 church service can be dangerous. The 11:00 service is where they stick all the baptisms and ceremonies so you could be there for hours. Now, I realize that these events are important but this particular Sunday was the morning after Big Papi and I stayed out until 1:00am with the Bugg (who happens to be one of the pastors in this church) and my new friend Brynne (whose husband is working crazy hours at Langley and shares my affection for Williams Sonoma). I know that I didn’t have to stay out until 1:00 am but it was a good time and Six in Phoebus has awesome cocktails and tapas.

Anyway, so Big Papi and I pull into the church parking lot and I notice a large amount of Boy Scouts and their families are heading towards church. Oh no Scouting Day! My church is a site for Boy Scouts Troop 84 and Cub Scouts Pack 184; we also have a Girl Scout troop that uses the facilities as well. This is great, I’m all for the teaching of be prepared and how to eat tree bark. In fact more boys should probably be involved and I even had hopes that the Caveman might want to try scouting so long as I didn’t have to venture into the woods with him. Yes scouting is fun, but then I saw the mothers.

The scouts' moms obviously are very involved with their sons’ activities. That is awesome; but why must they dress like men? Seriously, I’m talking over-sized men’s button down khaki shirts with patches designed to make a woman look fifty pounds overweight. To make it worse these women did not seem to do their hair or attempt to wear at least flattering pants. Most in fact had on the dreaded mom jean, which all mommies should know puts the focus on that mom pooch you get from carrying babies. After checking out the national website I have discovered that they have actual Boy Scout uniforms for women, and while not the best fashion statement they are at least fitted for a woman’s body. So these women willingly made the decision to dress this way.

I feel guilty looking at moms who are involved with their children’s activities, but for God sakes visit a tailor and get the shirts to fit your body. Taking the time to look your best is a good example for your children. I feel this is especially important when your child is receiving an award and you are suppose to stand by him. These boys worked hard to receive the acclamation from their church community. The least these mothers could do was make sure they looked their best for these boys as well.

The problem with moms who don't take care of themselves is that it leads to their lives becoming all about their children. This sounds good in theory but children grow up and no longer need us as much.

When you are on an airplane the flight attendants tell you to put your oxygen mask on first then assist your child. In life we need to do the same thing. My goal as a mom is to be great one but not to lose who I am as well. At some point the Caveman and Alien will grow up. To be the best mommy for them when they reach that milestone I need to know who I am when I am not being their mommy. Being a mom is only one side of me and I refuse to allow my children to take over my whole existence. If I should be so fortunate to have my Caveman or Alien join an organization that requires me to wear a uniform I will have it tailored with my hair done and wearing flattering bottoms and amazing shoes. That way I am still being mommy but remaining true to myself.