You’re a Mean One Mommy Dearest!

So, guess who had a life altering moment with the Caveman today?

That's right folks mommy had an interesting moment when after hours of yelling, threatening, begging I had it with the Caveman not cleaning up his playroom. This child has acquired the bad habit of not putting things away, largely learned from Big Papi and myself. Big Papi and I are not what you would call organized in fact Crazy Grandma has often suggested that we hire professionals to organize our house.

Well as I approach 30 I am tired of my house looking like the aftermath of a natural disaster. I want my home to be as close to an Ikea, Pottery Barn or at least a Target ad as possible. I realize that in real life, especially with a three and nineteen month old that is nearly impossible; but with as crazy as my life has become in recent months I need to do my part in making sure my home truly is my haven.

The Caveman is not cooperating with the plan however and both Big Papi and I have had enough. I brought out a large black trash bag that we have for yard debris and told the Caveman to take any toy that was on the floor and put in the trash bag. The tears and screams were many as the Caveman put his beloved fire trucks, cars, balls, stuffed animals and blocks into not one but two large bags. We have the lovely Ikea toy bins so any toys that were in the bins were spared. I told the Caveman that since he treated his toys like trash the toys were going to the trash.

After the room was clean and my little man was sobbing, begging for us not to throw away the toys I made him a deal. Every night if he cleans his toys up before bed he may have one toy from the trash bags that are now safely in what the Caveman refers to as the "ladder."

The problem with all of this is wondering if I am being too hard, but as I cannot find my I-pod right now I believe that learning to respect the things that God has given us is an incredible life lesson. I think with working on myself this past year I am trying to make my children better than I am.

I know I have not written in a long time. I realize that I left my five readers hanging and I am sorry but there were serious issues that Big Papi and I had to face. With the hard work behind us I can safely say that I love the man my husband has become. Big Papi is my personal hero because he has been willing to truly walk a path with me. For awhile I felt alone in my marriage but with prayer, counseling, and by becoming debt free (only $5000 to go!) we have been able to find a way back to walking together.

So I will try my best to document the adventures of the Caveman and Alien household now that mommy and Big Papi are finally at peace.

Guess who's back, back again!

So, I was hiding.

I know, I know, prompt blog writers are at it everyday. However I am assuming that most blog writers are not attending classes in the summer time- sixteen weeks worth of education squeezed into ten. This summer to say the least has been interesting.

The first big news is that the Alien turns one today! Seriously amazing; this time last year I was getting hooked up to meds that forced the birth of my child, not pleasant. Now the Alien is this bright, shiny sunshine in my life. Her sparkling blue eyes that light up when I walk into the room. The cries of “ma- ma” (yes actually calling me ma-ma.) She is starting to stand on her own and attack the Caveman, at a kid level life is good.



Another piece of amazing news is that I am a proper Wahoo! This tidbit I have been holding out sharing because part of me still does not believe that a path I stepped on almost twenty years ago is finally clear of the biggest road hazard. Virginia actually wants me. Yet, there is a line from the musical Wicked where Glenda finally gets what she wants and sings “That’s why I couldn’t be happier, no I couldn’t be happier. But, it is I admit the tiniest bit unlike I anticipated.” When you want something so bad, when it becomes everything you are working for and then you actually get what you want so then what?



The big thing going on this summer however is not all sunshine like a one-year old birthday or the accomplishment of finally being accepted at the one place I have been pressing my nose against the glass since I was 12. No the biggest news is that Big Papi and I are in a rough patch and are currently in couple’s therapy. This period in my life has been painful and lonely because I have not wanted to share this with too many people. Who wants to have a conversation about why you think your marriage of less than four years is not working. Plus sharing it with the world, especially people who are not involved with our daily lives is scary because the judgment that comes with a woman complaining that her man isn’t enough.


Yes, I said it. Imagine being on a long beach holding a rope and dragging everyone on a sled. My kids, house, career, dreams, hope, vision are all on this sled. Right now I am pulling it alone, without help from my husband. Now, let me be very clear Big Papi is a good, kind man. He is an amazing father. I love him; made children with him, that’s why as I type tears are welling up.

Big Papi is not living to his potential in many ways. Some days that sled is really heavy with all that I have put on it. Once in awhile I want him to help pull the rope or get some stuff off my sled and carry it awhile for me. So much is on a mom’s plate because if the kids are hurting it is the mother who is judge. Big Papi isn’t doing his part getting us to the next step.

I don’t feel comfortable explaining exactly what is going on, but he has the opportunity to finish something every important and is unwilling to find out how to finish. This goal is one that so many people want to accomplish, and he has at most six months work to do to complete. Frustratingly he gives no reason for finishing or promises to get the information and never does.


He is 32 and at this very moment is perfectly happy to stay as he is. As I change and grow, especially reaching my 30s I want my husband to grow with me. My fear is that I as I grow, I grow further away from him.