“Mini Mona”

So, we had the ant cupcakes at Crazy Grandma's birthday party. The Caveman was excited to host a party with balloons and pink pointy party hats.

The only person who didn't want to participate is the Alien who Crazy Grandma is now calling "MM" (stands for Mini-Mona, I guess the Alien in her two year old self has striking similarities to my two year old self). First the Alien woke up from her nap screaming, on the floor, and looked confused. I picked her up, changed her diaper, and brought her out to the pink princess party where all her favorite people were. Nope, wanted no part, her chubby fingers clung to my shirt like it was a life preserver. We tried everything to get her to calm down. Big Papi took her; we put her back in the room, offered her a drink, and then by magic when we said would you like a snack she was suddenly okay.

That's when the comparisons between my daughter and I got very interesting.

I have written about my struggle with my body image before, especially what I believe is my habit of emotional eating. Well Crazy Grandma points out "Look an emotional eater like her mother." And I look at my perfect little girl with the bluest eyes I have ever seen and wonder as I give her five organic animal cookies in a bowl if I am setting her up for a battle like mine.

And it continues, of course in front of everyone which is embarrassing about how I should talk to my therapist about this. Guess what Crazy Grandma my in-laws (who were also in the room) I don't believe I told about my therapy. Big Papi and I recently came clean about the six months of marriage counseling we completed last year. And I may have mentioned it, but it felt like a violation, an innocent mistake, but not something I want mention to the other half of the Alien and Cavemen family unit; at least not by anyone else but me.

My mother-in-law doesn't look when I get a second helping of food. Doesn't say anything when I give the kids a cookie, and Crazy Grandma doesn't either but when she makes comments about my daughter's emotional eating it make me pause because what internal dialogue is she saying in her mind?

I am proud of myself that the therapy is working, and I didn't have my usually dramatic reaction or pity party session about my mother's comments. Instead I didn't give a look or comment I simply went on with the party and proudly had an ant cupcake with the rest of them. And they all smiled when the Alien had green grass icing all over her face.

I am not making my mother out to be a bad person, she means well. My mother always means well, she always means well. I could hear her in the background as I was trying to soothe the Alien "Mona is so much better with her than I was with Mona when she was the Alien's age." For my mother that is an olive branch I gladly take. Her opinion of me matters more than anyone else, I have no idea why. But I know by writing this and publishing it I am up for a discussion. The topic may be that I am of course over reacting that they were innocent comments and I shouldn't make the situation all about me. If the Alien is now "MM" then how can I not make it about Big Mona? Or it could simply be something we don't talk about.

I guess I need to warn those fans who live in the Alien and Cavemen universe as I am trying to write daily they may pop into the story. This is not the Alien and Caveman story but mine and I am going to own it.