So the Bugg has invited Big Papi and I out for New Year’s Eve, very exciting. A new character to the Caveman and Alien universe, the Bugg is actually one of the ministers at our church, and he happens to be our age.
The age thing freaks me out.
Seriously, how can someone my age be a whole minister who is allow guide people? Or doctor or lawyer- insane! Or maybe I just feel this way because I have still not figured out what I want to be when I am a grown up.
The Bugg is a very interesting guy if you look past what he does for a living; I mean how many people do you know who collects a paycheck from Jesus? He is single ladies, and very adorable and well spoken and well read (he actually knows who Whitman is, and not the candy company). Also he seems to like polar plunging.
Polar plunging is an event where seemingly normal adults go into freezing cold water for fun. Many times it is to raise money for charity, which is awesome. However tonight Big Papi and I will be surrounded by people who want to jump into the Chesapeake Bay just for the fun of it.
Maybe it is the mommy in me, but I don’t see how jumping into the Chesapeake Bay in January while it is 26 degrees outside with winds blowing northwest at 20-30 miles per hour seems like a good idea. Yet, the woman who desperately wants to break free from always appearing like someone’s mommy kind of wants to be silly and take a big jump into the Bay.
It has been a long time since I have had the chance to try something daring, well besides giving birth. I have never been one to take chances, and I think that is a problem in my own life. When you are afraid of taking chances you live life with regrets. I don’t want to walk away from tonight wishing I had jumped.
Yet the grown up in me sees that if I jump into the water I could catch cold, and man do I sound old. Yet even as a kid I have been this way. During swimming lesions when all the other kids were learning to jump into deep water I held back, something inside me held me back.
As an adult I want to try new things. 2008 represented the end of a cycle for me, I was in a funk but I am starting to come out of it. 2009 represents for me new start, as I want to focus on actually living my life instead of just surviving it.
I won’t know until later this evening if I’ll be dripping wet from the cold water, but I do know that it is progress on my part that I am even considering it.
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
Saturday, December 27, 2008
Have yourself a merry little Christmas
This holiday season has been an exciting one for the Alien and Caveman filled household. Well the Alien not so much because she is really a baby and doesn’t know what is going on. The Caveman, however, discovered the following this season:
1. The Pretties- I think this started at his preschool when they hung Christmas lights (he attends a Christian preschool which allows for said activities). Since every time he sees Christmas lights the following conversation has happened: “Oh mommy look! The pretties! I love the pretties! I love my pretties!” Then he adds, “I see blue, I see pink, I see green, I see red.” Even if you do not celebrate Christmas the lights are an ideal way to help your caveman learn colors. Also it reminded me that when the lights go on the houses the world seems brighter even in our darkest days. There is something magical in the power of the “pretties.”
2. Christmas equals mommy bakes- Yes I love to bake but the only time of year I get to do it properly is around the holidays. People never want homemade chocolate chip cookies in August because we are all still trying to look awesome in bathing suits. The Caveman not only experienced mommy’s amazing chocolate chip cookies but also the grasshopper bars (really the best thing you could put in your mouth) and the five-minute fudge. The one thing I wish I had the time to do this holiday was to make rice crispy treats with the Caveman. I want him to know the power that comes from understanding how with a few ingredients and a little time, love and patience you can create something amazing that can be shared. Think if more little boys were taught those things when they were cavemen how different the world would be.
3. Santa is not awesome- I am sure this will change but the picture says it all.
1. The Pretties- I think this started at his preschool when they hung Christmas lights (he attends a Christian preschool which allows for said activities). Since every time he sees Christmas lights the following conversation has happened: “Oh mommy look! The pretties! I love the pretties! I love my pretties!” Then he adds, “I see blue, I see pink, I see green, I see red.” Even if you do not celebrate Christmas the lights are an ideal way to help your caveman learn colors. Also it reminded me that when the lights go on the houses the world seems brighter even in our darkest days. There is something magical in the power of the “pretties.”
2. Christmas equals mommy bakes- Yes I love to bake but the only time of year I get to do it properly is around the holidays. People never want homemade chocolate chip cookies in August because we are all still trying to look awesome in bathing suits. The Caveman not only experienced mommy’s amazing chocolate chip cookies but also the grasshopper bars (really the best thing you could put in your mouth) and the five-minute fudge. The one thing I wish I had the time to do this holiday was to make rice crispy treats with the Caveman. I want him to know the power that comes from understanding how with a few ingredients and a little time, love and patience you can create something amazing that can be shared. Think if more little boys were taught those things when they were cavemen how different the world would be.
3. Santa is not awesome- I am sure this will change but the picture says it all.
4. Church is fun during Christmas- Being new to a church a great way to get involved is to participate in the services and activities. My church exploded with activities from the Hanging of the Greens (a fancy way of saying decorating the church) to Santa’s house (we did not participate in this particular event because of said outing to the mall Santa above). My favorite holiday is the one hosted by Pastor Bugg (that is his real name I promise) in which grown up gets to drink and be merry. The Caveman and Alien will be safely at their non-crazy grandma’s (Big Papi’s mom).
The holidays have been quick this year- and way lower keyed than in the past for myself. I only entered a mall once and it was to visit Santa on a Tuesday and it was like a ghost town. I realize that this is the effect of the economic slowdown affecting our country but I still think it is a good thing for the most part. One of my favorite Christmas songs is “Have yourself a merry little Christmas” and it reminds me that this time of year is really about the people you surround yourself with not the things you buy. It is also a time of year to be reminded that miracles happen even if it is as simple as watching my two-year old look in amazement every time he happened to see Christmas lights twinkling, burning bright into the dark sky.
The holidays have been quick this year- and way lower keyed than in the past for myself. I only entered a mall once and it was to visit Santa on a Tuesday and it was like a ghost town. I realize that this is the effect of the economic slowdown affecting our country but I still think it is a good thing for the most part. One of my favorite Christmas songs is “Have yourself a merry little Christmas” and it reminds me that this time of year is really about the people you surround yourself with not the things you buy. It is also a time of year to be reminded that miracles happen even if it is as simple as watching my two-year old look in amazement every time he happened to see Christmas lights twinkling, burning bright into the dark sky.
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
Worry gives a small thing a big shadow- Swedish Proverb
So the Alien went to the doctor today and thankfully Big Papi had the opportunity to attend because he is usually working when the kids go to the doctor.
I think fathers have figured out ways to get out of the haircuts, doctors, dentists appointments. Well I really shouldn’t say that because Big Papi is always willing to help out if I ask. I think that is the bigger problem; I am the one who has to arrange for things.
I am the concierge of my household if it is a reservation I am the one making it happen. Now, I know I could ask Big Papi to do the arranging but again I have to ask. This is a huge gap between fathers and mothers, because fathers really only care that the kids are breathing (and even that is questionable when in the middle of the night I will stay awake a creep over to the crib to ensure that the Alien is still breathing while Big Papi snores away dreaming of Angelina Jolie). Big Papi is also very concern that the Caveman is not messing with the Big Papi’s stuff (I have to remind Big Papi that the Caveman is a boy, and therefore his DNA is imprinted with the desire to play with things that light up and have buttons).
I, on the other hand, am a constant bundle of nerves, concerns and issues over my children. Are they eating enough? Are they eating enough of the good things? How much television is okay for the Caveman? How can I convince the Caveman that mommy and him do not have to listen to endless cycles of “Skinnamarink” in the car on the way to pre-school? If the Alien is warm is she getting sick? Will my children look back on their childhoods and have more happy memories than sad ones?
The thoughts are constantly streaming across my mind and get worse when someone mentions another kid screwing up. I want to ask them, where did you make the wrong turn. Did it start when you let them watch too much Sesame Street? Do you indulge your child too much before realizing that you shouldn’t? Or was it when you started to not watch their every move and let them go on their own? These are the things I worry about as a mother.
I wish I could be more like Big Papi, relaxed and calm- but I think for a good parenting relationship you need someone who is awake in the middle of the night checking to see if the Alien is still breathing.
I think fathers have figured out ways to get out of the haircuts, doctors, dentists appointments. Well I really shouldn’t say that because Big Papi is always willing to help out if I ask. I think that is the bigger problem; I am the one who has to arrange for things.
I am the concierge of my household if it is a reservation I am the one making it happen. Now, I know I could ask Big Papi to do the arranging but again I have to ask. This is a huge gap between fathers and mothers, because fathers really only care that the kids are breathing (and even that is questionable when in the middle of the night I will stay awake a creep over to the crib to ensure that the Alien is still breathing while Big Papi snores away dreaming of Angelina Jolie). Big Papi is also very concern that the Caveman is not messing with the Big Papi’s stuff (I have to remind Big Papi that the Caveman is a boy, and therefore his DNA is imprinted with the desire to play with things that light up and have buttons).
I, on the other hand, am a constant bundle of nerves, concerns and issues over my children. Are they eating enough? Are they eating enough of the good things? How much television is okay for the Caveman? How can I convince the Caveman that mommy and him do not have to listen to endless cycles of “Skinnamarink” in the car on the way to pre-school? If the Alien is warm is she getting sick? Will my children look back on their childhoods and have more happy memories than sad ones?
The thoughts are constantly streaming across my mind and get worse when someone mentions another kid screwing up. I want to ask them, where did you make the wrong turn. Did it start when you let them watch too much Sesame Street? Do you indulge your child too much before realizing that you shouldn’t? Or was it when you started to not watch their every move and let them go on their own? These are the things I worry about as a mother.
I wish I could be more like Big Papi, relaxed and calm- but I think for a good parenting relationship you need someone who is awake in the middle of the night checking to see if the Alien is still breathing.
Sunday, December 21, 2008
People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have one. ~Leo J. Burke
The Caveman is really fighting me on the sleeping in his own bed thing. Today Big Papi and I decided that we would work on getting him into his own bed.
After a fun filled evening of touring the Norfolk Botanical Garden’s Christmas lights (the Caveman loves Christmas lights- he calls them pretties. Lately it has been “Oh my goodness look at all my pretties!”). We came home and the Alien was completely knocked out so I brought the Caveman into his room, changed him into pajamas and then let him pick out a book. Then I put him into the bed and all hell broke loose.
The heavy breathing tipped me off that this was not going to be easy. Like a volcano about to explode, the Caveman built up to the biggest cry I have ever heard, with one little tear falling onto his face. He was horrified that I would actually send him to bed in his own room. I sat with him as he cried, pleading mommy let me sleep where I like. After ten minutes I kissed my crying baby and told him goodnight.
Currently a half hour later he is still screaming his eyes out.
Before becoming a parent I would catch that “Super Nanny” show and wonder how those idiotic parents got to the point that they needed the help of a reality show nanny. Come on, how hard could it be to get a two year old to bed?
Ignorance is bliss- a parent of a two year old who refuses to sleep in his own bed said this.
When you long to be a parent you only see the fun things never the long nights, the constant contact with bodily fluids, or the sheer torture of endless singing of “Skinnamrink.” While I was pregnant with the Caveman I had visions of cookie making, little league and school plays dancing in my head. No one or thing can prepare you for the challenge of disciplining your child for saying a bad word while trying not to laugh at the sheer hilarity of a tiny voice saying “oh s***.”
It’s been forty minutes and he is still at it.
The other thing no one tells expectant mommies is that daddies are never affected as deeply when your child is upset over not going to bed. Currently Big Papi is asleep, snoring and probably dreaming of relations with Angelia Jolie, how nice. I on the other hand have no plans to fall asleep until I know my Caveman is safely asleep.
Forty-five minutes- still crying.
Who decided that kids this age should sleep in their own rooms anyway? Oh I remember dads who want to sleep with their wives. That is one more thing to consider when thinking of adding a caveman or alien to your household, sex. Sometimes if we happen to have a moment where both kids are asleep I know Big Papi would like to have some “sexy time” and I try but the thought of the Caveman walking in freaks me out. So you’re thinking lock the door well the thought of a two year old let loose in the house without any grownups is the most disturbing thing in the world. Do you know what a two year old can do to a house in two minutes if you let it? I’m just going to let your mind wander on that one.
Oh wait- I think I hear something- could it be that he has finally fell asleep.
NO! It’s been an hour now and now he is calling for his Crazy Grandma and the crying is more a screeching.
This whole process is awful by the way, I can see why rich people pay other people to take care of their children because then the nanny has to deal with the screeching “I want” cries.
Now the silence has spread across the house. Has this actually worked- did I finally stand my ground and my Caveman is going to sleep in his cave? Thanks to God and the sandman and whomever else handles sleep. Now I think I’ll go to sleep myself…
Never mind, the Alien just woke up.
After a fun filled evening of touring the Norfolk Botanical Garden’s Christmas lights (the Caveman loves Christmas lights- he calls them pretties. Lately it has been “Oh my goodness look at all my pretties!”). We came home and the Alien was completely knocked out so I brought the Caveman into his room, changed him into pajamas and then let him pick out a book. Then I put him into the bed and all hell broke loose.
The heavy breathing tipped me off that this was not going to be easy. Like a volcano about to explode, the Caveman built up to the biggest cry I have ever heard, with one little tear falling onto his face. He was horrified that I would actually send him to bed in his own room. I sat with him as he cried, pleading mommy let me sleep where I like. After ten minutes I kissed my crying baby and told him goodnight.
Currently a half hour later he is still screaming his eyes out.
Before becoming a parent I would catch that “Super Nanny” show and wonder how those idiotic parents got to the point that they needed the help of a reality show nanny. Come on, how hard could it be to get a two year old to bed?
Ignorance is bliss- a parent of a two year old who refuses to sleep in his own bed said this.
When you long to be a parent you only see the fun things never the long nights, the constant contact with bodily fluids, or the sheer torture of endless singing of “Skinnamrink.” While I was pregnant with the Caveman I had visions of cookie making, little league and school plays dancing in my head. No one or thing can prepare you for the challenge of disciplining your child for saying a bad word while trying not to laugh at the sheer hilarity of a tiny voice saying “oh s***.”
It’s been forty minutes and he is still at it.
The other thing no one tells expectant mommies is that daddies are never affected as deeply when your child is upset over not going to bed. Currently Big Papi is asleep, snoring and probably dreaming of relations with Angelia Jolie, how nice. I on the other hand have no plans to fall asleep until I know my Caveman is safely asleep.
Forty-five minutes- still crying.
Who decided that kids this age should sleep in their own rooms anyway? Oh I remember dads who want to sleep with their wives. That is one more thing to consider when thinking of adding a caveman or alien to your household, sex. Sometimes if we happen to have a moment where both kids are asleep I know Big Papi would like to have some “sexy time” and I try but the thought of the Caveman walking in freaks me out. So you’re thinking lock the door well the thought of a two year old let loose in the house without any grownups is the most disturbing thing in the world. Do you know what a two year old can do to a house in two minutes if you let it? I’m just going to let your mind wander on that one.
Oh wait- I think I hear something- could it be that he has finally fell asleep.
NO! It’s been an hour now and now he is calling for his Crazy Grandma and the crying is more a screeching.
This whole process is awful by the way, I can see why rich people pay other people to take care of their children because then the nanny has to deal with the screeching “I want” cries.
Now the silence has spread across the house. Has this actually worked- did I finally stand my ground and my Caveman is going to sleep in his cave? Thanks to God and the sandman and whomever else handles sleep. Now I think I’ll go to sleep myself…
Never mind, the Alien just woke up.
Finally a real decision
I have made a major decision. I am going for the big girl degree from UVa in the fall- and I am so excited. For those who know me this has been a journey since I was 14 to get to this point. When I announced my decision to my family my step father, UVa alum, said “this time you’re ready.”
This made me think, are we ever ready for what life throws at us? A year ago, while I was barely pregnant with the Alien if you had told me I would be a full time student and a writer I would have laughed. Then if you added that I could be attending UVa I would have called you a liar and cruel.
For me the biggest regret in my life was not going to UVa the first time. Like my step dad said, I wasn’t ready. I had the grades, but not the attitude or the drive to make it. Now at almost 30 I am trying for the right reasons.
I realize I could attend a very good local college, a college where I could train in specific writing to make me more marketable. That isn’t what I want, I want to be a Wahoo; I want to walk the lawn. I want no regrets in my life, so come August- if I keep getting the grades I’m getting I’ll be an official Wahoo! Now if only I could get the Caveman to pee-pee in his potty, then life will be perfect.
This made me think, are we ever ready for what life throws at us? A year ago, while I was barely pregnant with the Alien if you had told me I would be a full time student and a writer I would have laughed. Then if you added that I could be attending UVa I would have called you a liar and cruel.
For me the biggest regret in my life was not going to UVa the first time. Like my step dad said, I wasn’t ready. I had the grades, but not the attitude or the drive to make it. Now at almost 30 I am trying for the right reasons.
I realize I could attend a very good local college, a college where I could train in specific writing to make me more marketable. That isn’t what I want, I want to be a Wahoo; I want to walk the lawn. I want no regrets in my life, so come August- if I keep getting the grades I’m getting I’ll be an official Wahoo! Now if only I could get the Caveman to pee-pee in his potty, then life will be perfect.
Thursday, December 18, 2008
The way the cookie crumbles
I love to bake.
There is nothing better than taking recipe for cookies or cake and actually accomplishing something crave-able.
I have perfectly perfected my chocolate chip recipe: the secret is to let the dough rest for 24 hours in a fridge and then bake them. The other major secret is to cool on the sheet on a cooling rack for 1 minute and then get the cookies off the baking sheet onto the cooling rack by themselves. If you don’t do this then the cookies will continue to cook and will not remain chewy.
I am getting better with cupcakes- I’m not into baking a whole cake, maybe when the kids are older. Also I can do bread when I am patient and have good yeast- one Thanksgiving the yeast was old, though I had just purchased it that week, and it never reacted to the sugar and flour to rise the bread.
Also I am working on my macaroons- I think they are almost perfection. I love to dip mine in chocolate because chocolate and coconut is yummy.
My fudge is smooth and creamy- though I realize that there is no baking involved but still.
So after doing all these things- why can’t I make sugar cookies?
Seriously every Christmas I try various recipes and techniques to make a delicious and decorated cookie to give to people for the Holiday season. Alas every year they never work. Completely frustrating the entire process becomes. Even the pre-maid sugar cookie dough doesn’t work for me.
I think this happens a lot in our lives. There are always things you wish you could do but just can’t for various reasons. I would love to be able to quote passages from books- but I have never been able to remember the exact line. Even my favorite book, The Great Gatsby’s famous green light line I can remember exactly. I am a terrible speller without a spell check (seriously how did the world exist before spell check, and yes I know what a dictionary is thanks.) My house never stays clean and I am a really bad stay-at-home mommy. I never know when to stop a conversation; I think people find it annoying.
All of these things are minor in the large scheme of life, but it is still frustrating when something that other people do so well, so easily is something that eludes you. Like that girl you know who always looks amazing- she gets the shoes and the hair and the jewelry right on. Those people frustrate me.
In our culture of practice makes perfect when does it comes to the point where you realize no matter how many time you try something it will never work out? I could probably make every sugar cookie recipe on the planet but it will never been quite right. Is it this moment that I realize I can quit trying to make sugar cookies and move on to oatmeal? Or do I keep going towards the goal of a perfect cookie?
This cookie metaphor mirrors what is going on in my decision making about my upcoming bachelor’s degree. I realize that I am getting my associates in August but I really need to decide quickly because I have to actually apply to schools and also financial aid. It is becoming a real obsession because I don’t want to make the wrong decision. I actually spoke to one of my pastors yesterday about my concerns. He told me I could make no wrong decision about this I just have to make one. Other people I have told me I should go where my passion is.
I’ll keep everyone informed. It seems like such a silly problem with so many in our world right now.
There is nothing better than taking recipe for cookies or cake and actually accomplishing something crave-able.
I have perfectly perfected my chocolate chip recipe: the secret is to let the dough rest for 24 hours in a fridge and then bake them. The other major secret is to cool on the sheet on a cooling rack for 1 minute and then get the cookies off the baking sheet onto the cooling rack by themselves. If you don’t do this then the cookies will continue to cook and will not remain chewy.
I am getting better with cupcakes- I’m not into baking a whole cake, maybe when the kids are older. Also I can do bread when I am patient and have good yeast- one Thanksgiving the yeast was old, though I had just purchased it that week, and it never reacted to the sugar and flour to rise the bread.
Also I am working on my macaroons- I think they are almost perfection. I love to dip mine in chocolate because chocolate and coconut is yummy.
My fudge is smooth and creamy- though I realize that there is no baking involved but still.
So after doing all these things- why can’t I make sugar cookies?
Seriously every Christmas I try various recipes and techniques to make a delicious and decorated cookie to give to people for the Holiday season. Alas every year they never work. Completely frustrating the entire process becomes. Even the pre-maid sugar cookie dough doesn’t work for me.
I think this happens a lot in our lives. There are always things you wish you could do but just can’t for various reasons. I would love to be able to quote passages from books- but I have never been able to remember the exact line. Even my favorite book, The Great Gatsby’s famous green light line I can remember exactly. I am a terrible speller without a spell check (seriously how did the world exist before spell check, and yes I know what a dictionary is thanks.) My house never stays clean and I am a really bad stay-at-home mommy. I never know when to stop a conversation; I think people find it annoying.
All of these things are minor in the large scheme of life, but it is still frustrating when something that other people do so well, so easily is something that eludes you. Like that girl you know who always looks amazing- she gets the shoes and the hair and the jewelry right on. Those people frustrate me.
In our culture of practice makes perfect when does it comes to the point where you realize no matter how many time you try something it will never work out? I could probably make every sugar cookie recipe on the planet but it will never been quite right. Is it this moment that I realize I can quit trying to make sugar cookies and move on to oatmeal? Or do I keep going towards the goal of a perfect cookie?
This cookie metaphor mirrors what is going on in my decision making about my upcoming bachelor’s degree. I realize that I am getting my associates in August but I really need to decide quickly because I have to actually apply to schools and also financial aid. It is becoming a real obsession because I don’t want to make the wrong decision. I actually spoke to one of my pastors yesterday about my concerns. He told me I could make no wrong decision about this I just have to make one. Other people I have told me I should go where my passion is.
I’ll keep everyone informed. It seems like such a silly problem with so many in our world right now.
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Getting what you want
The end of my first semester happened this week and overall I did really well- four As and one F. The F was because I was silly thinking I could take economics online- I don’t recommend that. Yet even with that F I still have a 3.15 GPA, not bad at all.
I have already signed up for classes next semester, 18 credits (yikes). The majority of those are subjects that I am really looking forward to dive in: yoga, US government, and the second section of US history. Also on my plate in college algebra (yuck) the second section of biology (there are body parts involved in this section not exactly looking forward to the lab) and retaking economics (in a classroom this time).
I realize with my budding writing career, my two children and marriage that I am asking a lot of myself. This college experience is all about me, a strange place to be in because for 28 years I have done everything for someone else.
The path towards college this time started because I wanted to prove to my children you should finish what you start, but now I know that I am really doing it because want to finish. I started down the path of a college degree 10 years ago, a path towards something I thought I wanted in a place I did not want to be. My college experience this semester has been a joy and a stress but it has been mine. When I am on campus, I am not a mommy but an actual person. My ideas and thoughts are valued and I am challenging my mind.
I will complete my associates in social sciences in August- but after that I still haven’t decided. I could attend a local college and get done as quickly as possible- or I could get a degree from the school I have been in love with since I was 14. My dream was to attend this one school and I actually have a chance to accomplish this.
So why am I so afraid of actually getting what I want?
I have already signed up for classes next semester, 18 credits (yikes). The majority of those are subjects that I am really looking forward to dive in: yoga, US government, and the second section of US history. Also on my plate in college algebra (yuck) the second section of biology (there are body parts involved in this section not exactly looking forward to the lab) and retaking economics (in a classroom this time).
I realize with my budding writing career, my two children and marriage that I am asking a lot of myself. This college experience is all about me, a strange place to be in because for 28 years I have done everything for someone else.
The path towards college this time started because I wanted to prove to my children you should finish what you start, but now I know that I am really doing it because want to finish. I started down the path of a college degree 10 years ago, a path towards something I thought I wanted in a place I did not want to be. My college experience this semester has been a joy and a stress but it has been mine. When I am on campus, I am not a mommy but an actual person. My ideas and thoughts are valued and I am challenging my mind.
I will complete my associates in social sciences in August- but after that I still haven’t decided. I could attend a local college and get done as quickly as possible- or I could get a degree from the school I have been in love with since I was 14. My dream was to attend this one school and I actually have a chance to accomplish this.
So why am I so afraid of actually getting what I want?
Monday, December 15, 2008
What to do when the Caveman refuses his cave
So the Caveman has decided that he would rather sleep in the Man Room and not in his cave. His cave is adorably decorated by the Crazy Grandma, the theme is all little things little boy with trucks and animals. I believe it is a wonderful room for the Caveman to spend his nights.
Yet the Caveman refuses to sleep there! Somehow he has gotten into the habit of sleeping on the couch in the man room, and I realize that it was Big Papi and I who started it but still I want him to sleep in his room so that Big Papi can sleep with my in our bedroom. The whole situation started because the Alien slept with Big Papi in the Man Room simply because she was waking up in the middle of the night to drink a bottle. Big Papi seems to be able to sleep a few hours and still function while I am a nightmare if I do not get my eight hours.
The Caveman used to sleep in his room- but I think he realizes that nighttime can be scary and that the Alien was getting a lot of attention at night. So why not join in the party in the Man Room. We would let the Caveman fall asleep on the couch, but he started to wake up when we moved him. Now if we even mention the word bed the following conversation happens:
“Caveman would you like to sleep in your bed?”
“No, couch”
“But your bed is so nice, let’s try mommy will stay with you until you fall asleep.”
“NO! Couch, tv, daddy!”
I then proceed to pick up the Caveman who proceeds to scream with all his might (I swear the neighbors must think we are abusing him) and kick as I try to move him into his room. When I place him on the bed, he reaches up to me “Mommy up, I want up!” It just breaks my heart.
This whole situation reminds me that there are no perfect parents. Before I had my own children, when I would catch a talk show about spoiled children I would just think the parents should stand up to their child. Yet, when you are the parent and your baby is crying hysterically because all he wants is to sleep where you are I challenge any parent to stand up to that.
I worry that James and I will never be in bed together again, but I also worry that my child is in need of some mommy time because this all started when I went back to work. I guess this is the constant challenge of mommies, the need to be all to everyone- a sexy woman to your husband, while wearing baby throw up- a teacher and role model to your children- and not to mention the pressure to leave the house with makeup on and a clean outfit- there are days where I simply amaze myself that I made it that far.
Someday, when the Caveman is all grown up, maybe in a cave of his own, I’ll reach out for the little hand and realize that my little guy is a grown up. That is the real reason I am not fighting harder to get the Caveman or the Alien in their own beds. Society today demands that our children act more sophisticated and worldly; I just want my little ones to stay little and silly for as long as possible. So maybe mommy is being silly but I have no problem sharing my cave with my Caveman.
Yet the Caveman refuses to sleep there! Somehow he has gotten into the habit of sleeping on the couch in the man room, and I realize that it was Big Papi and I who started it but still I want him to sleep in his room so that Big Papi can sleep with my in our bedroom. The whole situation started because the Alien slept with Big Papi in the Man Room simply because she was waking up in the middle of the night to drink a bottle. Big Papi seems to be able to sleep a few hours and still function while I am a nightmare if I do not get my eight hours.
The Caveman used to sleep in his room- but I think he realizes that nighttime can be scary and that the Alien was getting a lot of attention at night. So why not join in the party in the Man Room. We would let the Caveman fall asleep on the couch, but he started to wake up when we moved him. Now if we even mention the word bed the following conversation happens:
“Caveman would you like to sleep in your bed?”
“No, couch”
“But your bed is so nice, let’s try mommy will stay with you until you fall asleep.”
“NO! Couch, tv, daddy!”
I then proceed to pick up the Caveman who proceeds to scream with all his might (I swear the neighbors must think we are abusing him) and kick as I try to move him into his room. When I place him on the bed, he reaches up to me “Mommy up, I want up!” It just breaks my heart.
This whole situation reminds me that there are no perfect parents. Before I had my own children, when I would catch a talk show about spoiled children I would just think the parents should stand up to their child. Yet, when you are the parent and your baby is crying hysterically because all he wants is to sleep where you are I challenge any parent to stand up to that.
I worry that James and I will never be in bed together again, but I also worry that my child is in need of some mommy time because this all started when I went back to work. I guess this is the constant challenge of mommies, the need to be all to everyone- a sexy woman to your husband, while wearing baby throw up- a teacher and role model to your children- and not to mention the pressure to leave the house with makeup on and a clean outfit- there are days where I simply amaze myself that I made it that far.
Someday, when the Caveman is all grown up, maybe in a cave of his own, I’ll reach out for the little hand and realize that my little guy is a grown up. That is the real reason I am not fighting harder to get the Caveman or the Alien in their own beds. Society today demands that our children act more sophisticated and worldly; I just want my little ones to stay little and silly for as long as possible. So maybe mommy is being silly but I have no problem sharing my cave with my Caveman.
Saturday, December 13, 2008
The re-brith of R
The Alien is getting baptized tomorrow. There are times when I find the whole notion of baptism strange to do for a baby- I have always felt that baptism is a rite of rebirth and acceptance that you choose to follow the Christian faith. Yet in my newly adopted Lutheran faith, baptism is a necessity for salvation and it is something a parent has done to their child. Big Papi and I had the Caveman baptized after debating it for almost a year, with a lot of pressure from Crazy Grandma (my mother) to get it done already.
There is something special about knowing that the church I was married in is also the church that my children are growing roots in. My younger sister, R, also had roots in this church and will be the Alien’s godmother. R has had a rough year, and right now she is going through a re-birth herself.
It is hard to see someone you love go through not only one hard time but over and over again get knock down by life. In one year R has been laid off from her job, been in a major car accident, and is just now getting out of a very abusive relationship. The hardest thing for me as an older sister is I had no idea that R’s girlfriend (yes she’s gay folks it isn’t a big deal) was threatening R, wanting to know where she was at all times. Finally the relationship turned violent and R seemed to wake up and realize that this isn’t love.
But, the one thing I have discovered as a love one of a domestic violence survivor is that it is the months after the end of the relationship, where the bad memories start to become fuzzy and the happy memories shine like beams of light. In those months the abuser often pops in or the victim reaches out. In the months following the last episode, the incident which was so bad that it finally prompted the victim to leave, starts to fade.
My hope for my sister is that she realizes in the next months that this relationship was not based on love, but on fear. Fear does funny things to people, but to her abuser, Rs independence represented that R could leave at any time. The abuser is too insecure to realize that to plant a beautiful garden you can only till so much.
To R, who tomorrow accepts an enormous responsibility to guide my daughter, especially at times I cannot I hope that the Alien’s baptism reminds her that she is now facing a re-birth, and that I am rooting for her.
There is something special about knowing that the church I was married in is also the church that my children are growing roots in. My younger sister, R, also had roots in this church and will be the Alien’s godmother. R has had a rough year, and right now she is going through a re-birth herself.
It is hard to see someone you love go through not only one hard time but over and over again get knock down by life. In one year R has been laid off from her job, been in a major car accident, and is just now getting out of a very abusive relationship. The hardest thing for me as an older sister is I had no idea that R’s girlfriend (yes she’s gay folks it isn’t a big deal) was threatening R, wanting to know where she was at all times. Finally the relationship turned violent and R seemed to wake up and realize that this isn’t love.
But, the one thing I have discovered as a love one of a domestic violence survivor is that it is the months after the end of the relationship, where the bad memories start to become fuzzy and the happy memories shine like beams of light. In those months the abuser often pops in or the victim reaches out. In the months following the last episode, the incident which was so bad that it finally prompted the victim to leave, starts to fade.
My hope for my sister is that she realizes in the next months that this relationship was not based on love, but on fear. Fear does funny things to people, but to her abuser, Rs independence represented that R could leave at any time. The abuser is too insecure to realize that to plant a beautiful garden you can only till so much.
To R, who tomorrow accepts an enormous responsibility to guide my daughter, especially at times I cannot I hope that the Alien’s baptism reminds her that she is now facing a re-birth, and that I am rooting for her.
Friday, November 28, 2008
The customer is not always right
I am a veteran of retail, ten years in fact. Retail is often like a battle to balance the demands of the customers with the company needs and rules. As we all know "the customer is always right."
Black Friday, the busiest shopping day of the year, used to be one of the most dreaded days of my life. Fighting the crowds to get a parking spot, then trying to put on a happy face as a zillion customers complain that we are out of a certain product or the lines are too long. Seriously it is freaking black Friday people, the lines are going to be long and the cheap items are only going to last so long, you should have gotten up with the crazies and been here at 6:00am and climb under the gate to get to the cheap good stuff. After hearing this excuse 20,000 times, I would tell people that we didn't have magical Keebler elves in the backroom whipping up lotion but if they knew where we could hire them please give them one of our applications. That was always good for a chuckle out of some husband who couldn't figure out a clever way to get out of shopping on Black Friday.
I have many war stories.
The time this woman demanded that I damage a $100 gift set because we were out of that particular lotion but it was in the gift set. She actually took it out of the gift set and brought it up to the cash wrap thinking that we would sell it to her, we didn't. We put the lotion back and sold it to some unsuspecting husband who didn't know better.
Then there was the lady who after finding out we discontinued her favorite fragrance told every single person in line that lotion land was horrible and that we always "discontinue my favorite fragrance!" Okay, first it isn't like you lost out on a kidney, it is only lotion. Second, if you purchased more of the product perhaps the lotion gods would have spared you. I still think it is funny that people think that we do this to them because we know that "cotton-sweet pea-bubble-wonderment" is your favorite fragrance. The lotion land lotion trackers do not have a camera in your bathroom to see that oh my goodness let discontinue Carol's favorite lotion she is due for some disappointment. Seriously move on people.
Another one of my favorites was the time that a woman (again why is it always a woman, notice I never have any irrational man stories about being out of lotion) took out the inners of a gift set (again leave the inners of gift sets alone people) and saw that the geniuses at home office left the price tag on one of the items of the set of three trial sizes on it. She actually thought that the tiny baskets they were sitting in were actually fifteen dollars and the three cello wrapped trial sizes (which individually retailed at five dollars) were in fact only five dollars. When I proceeded to explain to her that she was mistaken she played the "I want to talk to your manager" card. Well honey, I was the only manager on duty and told her no. She then said fine I'll go to mall customer service and handed me her bag.
Here is the thing, mall customer service has nothing to do with the stores in a mall other than to direct you where the nearest Hot Topic is so that you can get your 13 year old obsessed teenage daughter her "I love Edward Cullen" t-shirt. The crazy "I want three products for the price of one lady" came back after discovering this and said wanted the lotion land customer service number. Okay, if you threaten to call customer service most of the time the person at the store will give in because the customer service people are usually never people who have even set foot on a sales floor let alone dealt with "I want three products for the price of one lady." Customer service 99.9% sides with the customer, no matter how silly the customer behaves. I gave because in the long run, it wasn't my money I was losing and I wasn't going to take the fall because some person back at lotion land headquarters couldn't figure out that it is probably not a good idea to leave an extra tag on something in a gift set you want to sell for $15.00 and that tag be cheaper than the gift set.
Yet, even with the silliest of silly women there are still happy memories. The time I lost my mind and sang a version of silver bells describing lotion and the wonderment of lotion land. Another was when I was so brazen to tell a man that waiting in line that to buy just one bottle of lotion was a waste of his time and mine so why not just buy three more (this particular story was also in front of my boss and my boss' boss). The man agreed and bought more, delighting the district manager and giving a relieving breath to my actual boss as she did not have to fire me because of some irrational guy because guys are not irrational usually in lotion land.
One more fun story was when the people in the line would not make one orderly line and so I told the ladies at the cash wrap not to ring up anyone else. I announced to the customers "unless you get into one line no one else will be rung up. Please just leave your shopping baskets on the floor, we'll put all the stuff back." Five minutes later they were all in the line.
I am telling all these stories not to just describe my experience in retail or to even relive my lotion land days. Black Friday was just simply a battle to defend your company and employees from the wrath of the customer. Yet never in my life would I imagine a situation where someone who die because the customers thought that they were right.
This black Friday a man from Queens New York died because a crowd at a Long Island Wal-Mart trampled him to death because they wanted a TV for $400 and they were mad that the store did not open right at 5:00am. As the story goes, the Wal-Mart did not open in time so the customers took it upon themselves to push open the doors, probably thinking "I am the customer so I will do what I want." Also in the may lay an eight month pregnant woman was hurt as were four other people. I cannot believe that people, the day after we said thanks, are so greedy and selfish that a man has to die so that you can get a TV at a discount. Here is the link if you want to hear the story http://www.yahoo.com/s/994444.
After seeing this report I wonder about this man's family, he was only 34. He died because someone couldn't wait another five minutes. He died because customers have some ridiculous notion that they call all the shots all the time. Yes in this new economy you have a lot of pull, but nothing in Wal-Mart is worth a human life. The customer is always right, or first, or the total customer experience is never worth an injury let alone a death. Somewhere along the way the customer being right has mutated in the customer does not have to follow basic rules of law and order.
All of these stories, my funny ones of customers being ridiculous to the unfortunate event of today, highlights that once again the true spirit of this series of Holidays has been lost. Its lost because everything comes down to dollars but not a lot of common sense.
Black Friday, the busiest shopping day of the year, used to be one of the most dreaded days of my life. Fighting the crowds to get a parking spot, then trying to put on a happy face as a zillion customers complain that we are out of a certain product or the lines are too long. Seriously it is freaking black Friday people, the lines are going to be long and the cheap items are only going to last so long, you should have gotten up with the crazies and been here at 6:00am and climb under the gate to get to the cheap good stuff. After hearing this excuse 20,000 times, I would tell people that we didn't have magical Keebler elves in the backroom whipping up lotion but if they knew where we could hire them please give them one of our applications. That was always good for a chuckle out of some husband who couldn't figure out a clever way to get out of shopping on Black Friday.
I have many war stories.
The time this woman demanded that I damage a $100 gift set because we were out of that particular lotion but it was in the gift set. She actually took it out of the gift set and brought it up to the cash wrap thinking that we would sell it to her, we didn't. We put the lotion back and sold it to some unsuspecting husband who didn't know better.
Then there was the lady who after finding out we discontinued her favorite fragrance told every single person in line that lotion land was horrible and that we always "discontinue my favorite fragrance!" Okay, first it isn't like you lost out on a kidney, it is only lotion. Second, if you purchased more of the product perhaps the lotion gods would have spared you. I still think it is funny that people think that we do this to them because we know that "cotton-sweet pea-bubble-wonderment" is your favorite fragrance. The lotion land lotion trackers do not have a camera in your bathroom to see that oh my goodness let discontinue Carol's favorite lotion she is due for some disappointment. Seriously move on people.
Another one of my favorites was the time that a woman (again why is it always a woman, notice I never have any irrational man stories about being out of lotion) took out the inners of a gift set (again leave the inners of gift sets alone people) and saw that the geniuses at home office left the price tag on one of the items of the set of three trial sizes on it. She actually thought that the tiny baskets they were sitting in were actually fifteen dollars and the three cello wrapped trial sizes (which individually retailed at five dollars) were in fact only five dollars. When I proceeded to explain to her that she was mistaken she played the "I want to talk to your manager" card. Well honey, I was the only manager on duty and told her no. She then said fine I'll go to mall customer service and handed me her bag.
Here is the thing, mall customer service has nothing to do with the stores in a mall other than to direct you where the nearest Hot Topic is so that you can get your 13 year old obsessed teenage daughter her "I love Edward Cullen" t-shirt. The crazy "I want three products for the price of one lady" came back after discovering this and said wanted the lotion land customer service number. Okay, if you threaten to call customer service most of the time the person at the store will give in because the customer service people are usually never people who have even set foot on a sales floor let alone dealt with "I want three products for the price of one lady." Customer service 99.9% sides with the customer, no matter how silly the customer behaves. I gave because in the long run, it wasn't my money I was losing and I wasn't going to take the fall because some person back at lotion land headquarters couldn't figure out that it is probably not a good idea to leave an extra tag on something in a gift set you want to sell for $15.00 and that tag be cheaper than the gift set.
Yet, even with the silliest of silly women there are still happy memories. The time I lost my mind and sang a version of silver bells describing lotion and the wonderment of lotion land. Another was when I was so brazen to tell a man that waiting in line that to buy just one bottle of lotion was a waste of his time and mine so why not just buy three more (this particular story was also in front of my boss and my boss' boss). The man agreed and bought more, delighting the district manager and giving a relieving breath to my actual boss as she did not have to fire me because of some irrational guy because guys are not irrational usually in lotion land.
One more fun story was when the people in the line would not make one orderly line and so I told the ladies at the cash wrap not to ring up anyone else. I announced to the customers "unless you get into one line no one else will be rung up. Please just leave your shopping baskets on the floor, we'll put all the stuff back." Five minutes later they were all in the line.
I am telling all these stories not to just describe my experience in retail or to even relive my lotion land days. Black Friday was just simply a battle to defend your company and employees from the wrath of the customer. Yet never in my life would I imagine a situation where someone who die because the customers thought that they were right.
This black Friday a man from Queens New York died because a crowd at a Long Island Wal-Mart trampled him to death because they wanted a TV for $400 and they were mad that the store did not open right at 5:00am. As the story goes, the Wal-Mart did not open in time so the customers took it upon themselves to push open the doors, probably thinking "I am the customer so I will do what I want." Also in the may lay an eight month pregnant woman was hurt as were four other people. I cannot believe that people, the day after we said thanks, are so greedy and selfish that a man has to die so that you can get a TV at a discount. Here is the link if you want to hear the story http://www.yahoo.com/s/994444.
After seeing this report I wonder about this man's family, he was only 34. He died because someone couldn't wait another five minutes. He died because customers have some ridiculous notion that they call all the shots all the time. Yes in this new economy you have a lot of pull, but nothing in Wal-Mart is worth a human life. The customer is always right, or first, or the total customer experience is never worth an injury let alone a death. Somewhere along the way the customer being right has mutated in the customer does not have to follow basic rules of law and order.
All of these stories, my funny ones of customers being ridiculous to the unfortunate event of today, highlights that once again the true spirit of this series of Holidays has been lost. Its lost because everything comes down to dollars but not a lot of common sense.
Monday, November 17, 2008
By the way honey we are becoming Lutherans...
Seriously that is what my parents (well my mom and step dad) told me when they decided to join Gloria Dei Lutheran Church in Hampton. At 16 I wanted no part in it simply because I was not asked to go to the classes where they learned about Martin Luther or about the church itself. I had gone to church regularly as a young girl until the age of 11 when my parents (mom and dad this time) got a divorce. At 11 it is really hard when you believe in your whole heart that Jesus loves you and died for your sins to go through something like that. What sin at 11 could you possibly have committed to make your parents' marriage fall apart that couldn't be healed by Jesus I remember praying each night for them to get over it and get back together. When it didn't happen I was also devastated when my mom moved me out of the church family I had know since I was three because she was having a religious crisis herself.
My heart was broken and it took many years to face what hurt that was. I had to accept that even when you love God with all your heart that life is not perfect and that the tests come at any time. I felt alone and abandoned because in one year my entire life changed.
I always felt welcomed at Gloria Dei even though I questioned their beliefs, the pastors encouraged it. I made peace with my mother to attend the baccalaureate at Gloria Dei, kneeling in my white high school graduation gown still doubting if I even believed in this stuff. As the years went by I went once in awhile, usually Easter for my mom, and the question was never asked- when are you going to join. They, the pastors, just hugged me and sent me on my way.
When I was getting married, I knew that there was no getting out of a church wedding, it was the one thing my mother asked for. Plus the church is simply beautiful, but I still felt guilty as I was saying my vows to my new husband that I was being hypocritical to ask for God's blessing in my marriage and life but I was unwilling to admit that he was apart of my daily life.
When the first AJ came along things changed. I suddenly remembered my childhood in a church, singing silly songs, feeling like a family. I wanted that feeling of safety and warmth for my child, but I didn't want to it without Big Papi. He wasn't ready.
We got AJ baptized and then I became pregnant with AJ version 2.0 and I knew that enough was enough I needed to be apart of a church community. Big Papi agreed.
Yesterday, James and I were accepted as full members at Gloria Dei Lutheran Church. I cried and was nervous that some how this church family, something I so desperately wanted, was going to find out that I was a fraud and not want me or my children. But every member that was at that service came to me and welcomed my husband, my children, and myself.
I don't want to be one of those Christians that only talks about her love of her lord and savior. Yesterday, however, when I was promising to renounce sin I felt something come over me and I know that God had welcomed his child back home.
My heart was broken and it took many years to face what hurt that was. I had to accept that even when you love God with all your heart that life is not perfect and that the tests come at any time. I felt alone and abandoned because in one year my entire life changed.
I always felt welcomed at Gloria Dei even though I questioned their beliefs, the pastors encouraged it. I made peace with my mother to attend the baccalaureate at Gloria Dei, kneeling in my white high school graduation gown still doubting if I even believed in this stuff. As the years went by I went once in awhile, usually Easter for my mom, and the question was never asked- when are you going to join. They, the pastors, just hugged me and sent me on my way.
When I was getting married, I knew that there was no getting out of a church wedding, it was the one thing my mother asked for. Plus the church is simply beautiful, but I still felt guilty as I was saying my vows to my new husband that I was being hypocritical to ask for God's blessing in my marriage and life but I was unwilling to admit that he was apart of my daily life.
When the first AJ came along things changed. I suddenly remembered my childhood in a church, singing silly songs, feeling like a family. I wanted that feeling of safety and warmth for my child, but I didn't want to it without Big Papi. He wasn't ready.
We got AJ baptized and then I became pregnant with AJ version 2.0 and I knew that enough was enough I needed to be apart of a church community. Big Papi agreed.
Yesterday, James and I were accepted as full members at Gloria Dei Lutheran Church. I cried and was nervous that some how this church family, something I so desperately wanted, was going to find out that I was a fraud and not want me or my children. But every member that was at that service came to me and welcomed my husband, my children, and myself.
I don't want to be one of those Christians that only talks about her love of her lord and savior. Yesterday, however, when I was promising to renounce sin I felt something come over me and I know that God had welcomed his child back home.
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
The Caveman Went Voting Today
I wish I had something profound to say about the election of our new president Barack Obama- but instead my thoughts are towards the many African Americans who stood in line with me to vote today. Thinking about the past, the horrors of slavery, the oppression of Jim Crow, the movement to end segregation has all lead to this moment. We have now made an enormous historically significant choice with our president today and I am really proud to be an American.
The caveman joined me in the election line today this morning in the pitch black of six in the morning and waited in the line for an hour while mommy voted for his president as well. This was the first national election where I not only thought of my own needs as a citizen of the great country but the needs of my children as well. I realize that AJ is only two and will not remember that he stood in line to make history. In fact when people asked him who he was voting for he said "mommy and daddy." But one day my son will understand that voting is important, not just for national office but our local governments as well. The best way I know to ensure that my children understand the important role they play in their government is to lead by example, vote every time and get involved.
I hope that every election will have the turnout of this one, but I doubt it because just like the strong patriotism show after 9-11 slipped away so will voter apathy return. Unless Obama can keep the values of his candidacy, of allowing the smallest voice to speak, then we will return to the environment where the average citizen will believe that they can do nothing. These past 18 months have proven that Yes We Can! We as the people of the US can say we want change, now we have to hold our representatives' feet to the fire.
The caveman joined me in the election line today this morning in the pitch black of six in the morning and waited in the line for an hour while mommy voted for his president as well. This was the first national election where I not only thought of my own needs as a citizen of the great country but the needs of my children as well. I realize that AJ is only two and will not remember that he stood in line to make history. In fact when people asked him who he was voting for he said "mommy and daddy." But one day my son will understand that voting is important, not just for national office but our local governments as well. The best way I know to ensure that my children understand the important role they play in their government is to lead by example, vote every time and get involved.
I hope that every election will have the turnout of this one, but I doubt it because just like the strong patriotism show after 9-11 slipped away so will voter apathy return. Unless Obama can keep the values of his candidacy, of allowing the smallest voice to speak, then we will return to the environment where the average citizen will believe that they can do nothing. These past 18 months have proven that Yes We Can! We as the people of the US can say we want change, now we have to hold our representatives' feet to the fire.
Sunday, November 2, 2008
AJ's first halloween and we survived
So Halloween with a two year old caveman is very exciting. First the costume selection became dramatic as I picked out the most adorable monkey costume for AJ. He refused to wear it, screaming the whole time- we took it back to Target. It really is a shame because it was so cute and really inexpensive considering I saw a similar costume in a catalogue for $30.00. So I went to Babies R Us and found a sweatsuit that had a skeleton design on it that I knew would work because I was basically tricking the caveman into wearing a costume. Also discovered at Babies R Us the most adorable little kitten outfit for Addison- yes I am a mother that dresses her children to match the various holidays.
Because crazy grandma was going to be out of town for Halloween, Big Papi and I decided to take the children to his mom's neighborhood. This would be better than trying to trick or treat in our neighborhood because it is manly old people who do not participate in trick or treat activities.
So we set out around six in the evening with AJ, Big Papi, and Titi Shannon (Big Papi's sister). I started to worry because sometimes AJ isn't sure about strangers, so the first house I held my breath- but there was candy involved and I underestimated the power the sugary substance has over my child. AJ proudly said "trick or treat" and put his candy in the bag. We made him say thank you. Towards the end of the evening AJ would skip the trick or treat greeting and just reach in the candy bowl and look for the lollipops- I guess those are his favorite.
We stayed out for an hour and AJ got more and more bold with the candy givers and seemed to be having a good time. In fact the only problems with the evening were the bigger kids who wanted to run over my child to get to the candy, seriously where are parents these days, and the stupid grown ups who thought it would be fun to scare a two year old with a chain saw- we stayed away from that house. Seriously why would you do that to kids, just give them the candy without scaring the life out of them.
Because crazy grandma was going to be out of town for Halloween, Big Papi and I decided to take the children to his mom's neighborhood. This would be better than trying to trick or treat in our neighborhood because it is manly old people who do not participate in trick or treat activities.
So we set out around six in the evening with AJ, Big Papi, and Titi Shannon (Big Papi's sister). I started to worry because sometimes AJ isn't sure about strangers, so the first house I held my breath- but there was candy involved and I underestimated the power the sugary substance has over my child. AJ proudly said "trick or treat" and put his candy in the bag. We made him say thank you. Towards the end of the evening AJ would skip the trick or treat greeting and just reach in the candy bowl and look for the lollipops- I guess those are his favorite.
We stayed out for an hour and AJ got more and more bold with the candy givers and seemed to be having a good time. In fact the only problems with the evening were the bigger kids who wanted to run over my child to get to the candy, seriously where are parents these days, and the stupid grown ups who thought it would be fun to scare a two year old with a chain saw- we stayed away from that house. Seriously why would you do that to kids, just give them the candy without scaring the life out of them.
The best houses were the ones who realized that my caveman is a little guy and didn't try any funny business. I only had to yell at one candy giver outer who dressed in a costume that made him look like a giant, was about to attack AJ by reminding him in real life Big Papi is way bigger than he is and that I am mean mommy! He just laughed at me and then Big Papi got closer and the guy shut up. I wouldn't want to take on a 6'7 big guy either. After all the walking we headed back to grandma's house for pizza- and we let AJ have one well deserved dum dum lollipop.
Monday, October 27, 2008
Hi Ho Hi Ho Its Off To Work I Go
Today was my full first day without kids, and to be honest I am not sure how I feel about it. It was great dropping AJ off at preschool and driving to the gym without lugging Addie and all her stuff to the child watch room and then only having an hour to workout. Today I was able to workout as much as I want and as long as I wished. Plus it was great with missing a week because of Addie's cold and my own head cold not allowing us to get to the gym last week.
So after that I went home and actually took a shower where I could shave my legs and exfoliate! Seriously all mommies know that it is a glorious feeling to be able to do anything for yourself, particularly grooming, without a small voice interrupting. Then I went to train at my new job, which really used to be my old job.
That's right folks I am working the desk again at DeStress. The current receptionist, LaQuanda, is moving on to a new job so my mom, the owner and founder of DeStress Express, thought it would be a perfect solution for me to take LaQuanda's place. For the last two years I have been pretending to be a real estate agent, but really I have been a mommy. I never wanted to be a real estate agent but at the time it seemed like a job that I could be successful in and still have a life because my former job as a retail store manager did not let me have a life at all. The problem is I am a nice person and the majority of agents are overly competitive and mean to each other. I never felt comfortable asking my friends and family for referrals, that is how good real estate agents build their business.
During my time as a real estate agent I sent an article on real estate things to a local newspaper, the Oyster Pointer, and it was accepted. I hadn't written a piece for publication in almost five years so this was a big deal. Then I was asked to be a regular and I think that was the beginning of the end to my real estate career because I started getting more compliments on my articles than on my real estate methods.
So this is a long way of explaining that I am now going back to work as an office manager and lucky for me the Oyster Pointer has asked me to remain as a freelance writer which is really what I want to do and that will help me build my portfolio.
But the biggest dilemma of the day is I didn't miss the kids today. I know that this is a good thing because I trust the people Big Papi and I have hired to take care of them and that I am ready to go back to work. The bigger problem I have is that it proves that I am not a person who can be about her children all the time. I need an identity outside my mommy role. Yes I am proud to be AJ Rice's mommy x 2 but I am also a wife and a woman with talents other than pushing out babies.
For those mothers who make the choice to put your kids above everything else are afraid to step out of the mommy role to reclaim the talent lives they had before the kids came. Going back to work for me is doing that for myself, reclaiming the woman who just happens to also be a mommy.
So after that I went home and actually took a shower where I could shave my legs and exfoliate! Seriously all mommies know that it is a glorious feeling to be able to do anything for yourself, particularly grooming, without a small voice interrupting. Then I went to train at my new job, which really used to be my old job.
That's right folks I am working the desk again at DeStress. The current receptionist, LaQuanda, is moving on to a new job so my mom, the owner and founder of DeStress Express, thought it would be a perfect solution for me to take LaQuanda's place. For the last two years I have been pretending to be a real estate agent, but really I have been a mommy. I never wanted to be a real estate agent but at the time it seemed like a job that I could be successful in and still have a life because my former job as a retail store manager did not let me have a life at all. The problem is I am a nice person and the majority of agents are overly competitive and mean to each other. I never felt comfortable asking my friends and family for referrals, that is how good real estate agents build their business.
During my time as a real estate agent I sent an article on real estate things to a local newspaper, the Oyster Pointer, and it was accepted. I hadn't written a piece for publication in almost five years so this was a big deal. Then I was asked to be a regular and I think that was the beginning of the end to my real estate career because I started getting more compliments on my articles than on my real estate methods.
So this is a long way of explaining that I am now going back to work as an office manager and lucky for me the Oyster Pointer has asked me to remain as a freelance writer which is really what I want to do and that will help me build my portfolio.
But the biggest dilemma of the day is I didn't miss the kids today. I know that this is a good thing because I trust the people Big Papi and I have hired to take care of them and that I am ready to go back to work. The bigger problem I have is that it proves that I am not a person who can be about her children all the time. I need an identity outside my mommy role. Yes I am proud to be AJ Rice's mommy x 2 but I am also a wife and a woman with talents other than pushing out babies.
For those mothers who make the choice to put your kids above everything else are afraid to step out of the mommy role to reclaim the talent lives they had before the kids came. Going back to work for me is doing that for myself, reclaiming the woman who just happens to also be a mommy.
Thursday, October 23, 2008
The Headache Heard Round The World
This morning I woke up with the worse headache ever. It felt as if all my blood vessels in my brain were going to explode at once and any sort of light or loud noise was unbearable. Even right now I can feel my head wanting to return back to the worse headache ever position.
The problem with having a headache or any body ache like that is not the actual physical pain of the experience but the fact that mommy is on the sidelines and with a house full of aliens and cavemen the Mommy cannot be out of commission. Big Papi was great, he rubbed my neck and temples trying to give the pounding somewhere to go, and trying to keep the kids quiet. This was at four in the morning and of course AJ, the caveman who we are trying to potty train, wet the bed and his pants and then decided to be "nice" to mommy by climbing on her. We got him changed and dry and then the alien, Addie, woke up and needed to be fed, again Big Papi took care of that. Around 7:00 this morning AJ was getting dressed and Big Papi took him to preschool and then came home. We have arranged for a sitter for Addie to actually start in a few weeks when I go back to work full time, but thank goodness Kelly was able to take her today because there would be no way to recover from the worse headache and an alien.
But now that the headache is just a tiny fraction of the pain, I feel guilty that Addie is at a babysitter, that I wasn't the one to clean up AJ, and that my poor Big Papi had to take care of all of us and still go to work.
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
And so it begins...
I am the proud mommy of two AJs. My son, Anderson James, is who we call AJ and he is two and the caveman. My daughter, Addison Joy, is three months and why I really have two "AJs," is an alien. You may think that those are strange terms to describe the best things in my life, but anyone who has spent any time with babies and toddlers understand that those terms acurrately describe these stages of life. I am also married, we'll call him Big Papi, because well he is a big guy and a great dad but sometimes we test each other's nerves.
So why am I blogging? There is a lot going on in my life, besides the children and the husband, I am really an aspiring writer. I can't believe I actually wrote that, but it is true, the only thing that I have ever wanted to do. Writing became my passion in the eight grade when an amazing English teacher gave me an assignment to describe a bittersweet experience.
Since then my life of course has changed in many ways from my experiences in high school to my first attempt at college, trying to be a calm person by becomming a massage therapist, then becomming the babysitter in lotion land to trying to become a real estate agent during the worse real estate market in a century. So right at this moment I am working a day job as an office manager and going to school full time to finish my English degree. My ultimate goal is to become a full time paid writer, so the blog I thought would at least give me exposure but get me back into the habit of writing daily.
The goal of the blog is to let my have a place to vent or talk about what is going on with my day. After the experiences of having two children, you can feel kind of lost because your entire life becomes about the kids. From the moment I wake up, and sometimes before I wake because there is usually at least one kid in the bed, I am constantly on the move. So, I hope you enjoy and leave comments.
AJ Rice's Mommy x 2
So why am I blogging? There is a lot going on in my life, besides the children and the husband, I am really an aspiring writer. I can't believe I actually wrote that, but it is true, the only thing that I have ever wanted to do. Writing became my passion in the eight grade when an amazing English teacher gave me an assignment to describe a bittersweet experience.
Since then my life of course has changed in many ways from my experiences in high school to my first attempt at college, trying to be a calm person by becomming a massage therapist, then becomming the babysitter in lotion land to trying to become a real estate agent during the worse real estate market in a century. So right at this moment I am working a day job as an office manager and going to school full time to finish my English degree. My ultimate goal is to become a full time paid writer, so the blog I thought would at least give me exposure but get me back into the habit of writing daily.
The goal of the blog is to let my have a place to vent or talk about what is going on with my day. After the experiences of having two children, you can feel kind of lost because your entire life becomes about the kids. From the moment I wake up, and sometimes before I wake because there is usually at least one kid in the bed, I am constantly on the move. So, I hope you enjoy and leave comments.
AJ Rice's Mommy x 2
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