So guess who is the newest shoe diva on the block?
Not myself, though I love a good pair of heels. Not Big Papi, who has like five pairs of shoes, nor the Alien who doesn’t wear shoes because when learning to walk I feel it is best to be barefoot.
No, my faithful reader, the shoe diva in our house is the Caveman.
I guess I shouldn’t call him a diva as he is all little boy, but the kids is all about shoes. The Caveman currently has several pairs of shoes and flip-flops. He refuses to wear the flip flops and will only lament to wearing his water shoes unless he can see the pool. The biggest battles are when he wants to wear a certain pair of sneakers and we make him wear another.
This morning is a prime example as Big Papi and the Caveman spent the morning in the tv room. When they came down the hall to begin the day I notice that the Caveman is only wearing one of his Sesame Street shoes, and on the wrong foot. So in love with his sneakers, the Caveman will put them on while playing around the house. If we try to take the off, particularly when he wants to play with the Alien the temper tantrums are long and loud.
The Caveman was in a particularly silly mood while getting dressed and when I went to grab the closest pair of shoes, the grey Spiderman shoes that light up when he steps. He looks at the shoes (that mind you last week were the favorite) as if they were the most disgusting things on the planet. When I tell him “okay, left foot,” he refuses. Then I start the counting, and it still doesn’t work. My child gets up and runs away.
Finally I decide to look for the shoes he wants to wear today, the Sesame Street ones, and can only find the one shoe he was wearing this morning.
This is trouble because when I inform him of this and put on the Spiderman shoes seriously World War III started in my house. The Caveman shout, screams, begs for the other shoes. At this point I have had enough and yell back, “You will wear these shoes and be thankful you have shoes!” I almost added the fact that there are children in Africa that have no shoes.
I finally get the shoes on his feet and leave the room to help pack his lunch. He comes running in and is not wearing shoes at all. I lose it grab him by his arm and shove the shoes on his feet. There is no help for this situation; I am mad and over the whole situation.
The Caveman is so upset at this point he has to be carried by Big Papi to the car for preschool. Big Papi then comes to grab the Alien and tells me that the Caveman has asked for his Cars shoes and has taken off his shoes. I tell Big Papi no, that we are the parents. A few minutes later Big Papi comes back and proclaims that the Caveman has asked for the Cars shoes and that he says he is sorry. To get Big Papi out of the house I agree.
I think this morning I am going to hide all the shoes but the flip-flops and see how the Caveman deals with it. I can be evil too.
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
Sunday, August 9, 2009
Where are my ruby slippers?
So the final leg of our journey is now upon us. It was time to go home- yay!
8:48am: I am trapped in a car with lunatics. The Alien is the ring leader. She is the evil mastermind behind my headache and stress level. I know that her plan is to torture Big Papi and I with her constant screaming that we will finally give in and she will have total control of our family.
We are currently on our way back home and have only been on the road a half hour. The Caveman has already had his drumsticks taken away from him by Big Papi. I just am trying to find my happy place in the mist of all this craziness. I am trying to read the second book of the Twilight Saga and can’t concentrate because my family is nuts.
I have also already called Crazy Grandma to let her know that we are on our way back and to please schedule massages for Big Papi and I for tomorrow. She is laughing at me and asked me to let her say “I told you so.” Fine mom you win, children do not belong on vacation.
9:37am: A two-year old in a car for a long time is never a good idea. The Caveman has been occupying himself by taking the straw from his orange juice cup and flinging drops of juice on his sister and I. Not amused I took the straw and cup from him.
I also think I have caught the Alien’s cold as my throat becomes scratchy and the headache worsens. Or it could be the lack of sleep from the fact that the Caveman decided that an entire bed in the same room with mommy, daddy, and his sister still meant that he needed to share the bed with mommy. He is a bed hog. I am not happy. Never again will I go on vacation with my children. I might even include Big Papi in that group if he continues to scream at the children.
11:00am: Sitting in a parking lot in front of a Chick-fil-a as the Alien screams at her loudest level. The Caveman and Big Papi have escaped inside the restaurant to go potty and to get the Caveman a kids’ meal. The only thing keeping me going at this point is the knowledge that both children will be with a babysitter tomorrow. I feel like I am about to be paroled.
11:20am: Leaving Chick-fil-a after I got to go to the bathroom by myself. Oh the wonder of quiet, I had forgotten that one could be quiet. I feel like I am hung over only I have none of the fond memories to go with the feeling of achiness.
11:45am: The manager of the Chick-fil-a was kind enough to give the Caveman a balloon.
I could kill the manager of the Chick-fil-a.
The Caveman is currently hitting his sister with the balloon. The Alien is very upset but to be honest she has been upset since Monday. Actually at this very moment she is half giggling half mad as her brother bops her in the head with his balloon. The song on the radio is SOS, how appropriate.
1:20pm: Rejoice! We are in Newport News! The nightmare of the vacation is almost over! Please God let there be no traffic!
1:28pm: Officially in Hampton. Realized we have to stop at Walgreens to drop off the Alien’s prescription for her anti-biotic. Alien, who has thankfully been napping, has awaken. Oh no! Big Papi almost misses the exit. Seriously now!?
1:32pm: Mercury Blvd. Happiness and joy. Freedom is approaching!
1:33pm: Arrive at Walgreens and the Caveman has just woken up by singing Old MacDonald.
1:34pm: Leaving Walgreens, for once no line. Back on Mercury and only three traffic lights away from our turn. The crying from both kids has started again.
1:36pm: Damn you traffic light that just turned red!
1:38pm: Turning onto our street!
1:39pm: Arriving in our driveway!
Well folks, there it is. Our first family vacation and we all lived to tell the tale. Now I imagine that in a few months the bad memories will fade and I will remember the touching moments. I can’t think of any right now, but they will come.
Then the mommy amnesia will happen. This is the phenomenon that allows for women to kinds sort of remember that labor hurt but are willing to go through it again. I know I will want to take the children somewhere again; they will just be able to wipe their own butts.
8:48am: I am trapped in a car with lunatics. The Alien is the ring leader. She is the evil mastermind behind my headache and stress level. I know that her plan is to torture Big Papi and I with her constant screaming that we will finally give in and she will have total control of our family.
We are currently on our way back home and have only been on the road a half hour. The Caveman has already had his drumsticks taken away from him by Big Papi. I just am trying to find my happy place in the mist of all this craziness. I am trying to read the second book of the Twilight Saga and can’t concentrate because my family is nuts.
I have also already called Crazy Grandma to let her know that we are on our way back and to please schedule massages for Big Papi and I for tomorrow. She is laughing at me and asked me to let her say “I told you so.” Fine mom you win, children do not belong on vacation.
9:37am: A two-year old in a car for a long time is never a good idea. The Caveman has been occupying himself by taking the straw from his orange juice cup and flinging drops of juice on his sister and I. Not amused I took the straw and cup from him.
I also think I have caught the Alien’s cold as my throat becomes scratchy and the headache worsens. Or it could be the lack of sleep from the fact that the Caveman decided that an entire bed in the same room with mommy, daddy, and his sister still meant that he needed to share the bed with mommy. He is a bed hog. I am not happy. Never again will I go on vacation with my children. I might even include Big Papi in that group if he continues to scream at the children.
11:00am: Sitting in a parking lot in front of a Chick-fil-a as the Alien screams at her loudest level. The Caveman and Big Papi have escaped inside the restaurant to go potty and to get the Caveman a kids’ meal. The only thing keeping me going at this point is the knowledge that both children will be with a babysitter tomorrow. I feel like I am about to be paroled.
11:20am: Leaving Chick-fil-a after I got to go to the bathroom by myself. Oh the wonder of quiet, I had forgotten that one could be quiet. I feel like I am hung over only I have none of the fond memories to go with the feeling of achiness.
11:45am: The manager of the Chick-fil-a was kind enough to give the Caveman a balloon.
I could kill the manager of the Chick-fil-a.
The Caveman is currently hitting his sister with the balloon. The Alien is very upset but to be honest she has been upset since Monday. Actually at this very moment she is half giggling half mad as her brother bops her in the head with his balloon. The song on the radio is SOS, how appropriate.
1:20pm: Rejoice! We are in Newport News! The nightmare of the vacation is almost over! Please God let there be no traffic!
1:28pm: Officially in Hampton. Realized we have to stop at Walgreens to drop off the Alien’s prescription for her anti-biotic. Alien, who has thankfully been napping, has awaken. Oh no! Big Papi almost misses the exit. Seriously now!?
1:32pm: Mercury Blvd. Happiness and joy. Freedom is approaching!
1:33pm: Arrive at Walgreens and the Caveman has just woken up by singing Old MacDonald.
1:34pm: Leaving Walgreens, for once no line. Back on Mercury and only three traffic lights away from our turn. The crying from both kids has started again.
1:36pm: Damn you traffic light that just turned red!
1:38pm: Turning onto our street!
1:39pm: Arriving in our driveway!
Well folks, there it is. Our first family vacation and we all lived to tell the tale. Now I imagine that in a few months the bad memories will fade and I will remember the touching moments. I can’t think of any right now, but they will come.
Then the mommy amnesia will happen. This is the phenomenon that allows for women to kinds sort of remember that labor hurt but are willing to go through it again. I know I will want to take the children somewhere again; they will just be able to wipe their own butts.
Elmo please past the bacon
So on the third day Jesus rose from the dead. Well fantastic for the son of God, myself however is ready to throw in the towel.
In fact that day was so crazy I do not have the regular time entries so most is coming straight from memory. You’ll see why:
6:35am: Worse night ever! Seriously want to kill the Alien and Big Papi. Before we left on the trip the Alien was showing signs of having a cold, and that almost always leads to an ear infection. Why do I know these things? Call it mommy instincts or part of the super power package of mommies. I mean come on, how is it that your mom knew when you were about to get into trouble without needing to be a witness to said trouble? The Alien in Pennsylvania was also different because my Alien is my favorite at night time because she sleeps through the night. She may wake up at 5:00am but by golly the Alien in this house hold sleeps through the night.
Not in hotel rooms apparently. I, myself, need an absolutely dark room, complete with white noise from the fan, and plenty of blankets. The hotel would not allow this many people to have a king size bed, know they insisted we get to full size beds. This was great for the Caveman, who in previous blogs has been known to not sleep the night away. The Alien every hour on the hour screaming at the top of her lungs is not the kind of white noise this mommy needs.
I claim it is because of the ear ache; Big Papi thinks that it is because she is out of her environment. When I get no sleep I am truly evil; add an amusement park with hundreds of preschoolers and well let’s just say momma isn’t happy. Now also throw in a husband who isn’t listening to my mommy instincts, I know sleep is a bottle of anti-biotic away!
He finally commits to taking the Alien to an urgent care facility nearby. This was around 4:30 and I just got off of the phone with him. Yep, the start of an ear infection, I don’t want to be right about this one because that means the Alien is in pain but I told you so Big Papi.
9:15ish: We are currently outside the park waiting for the gates to come up. Today is our breakfast with Elmo. That’s right folks for $16.00 a person, including the Caveman, you have a chance to actually meet Elmo and a few of his friends. You have to arrive at the gates early. Thank goodness we booked this in March because when the gates open we get one of the good seats right next to the breakfast buffet. The breakfast not so great, but they do have Apple Jacks which is the Caveman’s favorite. Also featured on the bar is scrambled eggs, very limp bacon, sausage links, tater tots, and French toast sticks. There is also whole fruit, a selection of cereals, and juice and coffee.
As we walk immediately I notice that in the middle of the room Big Bird is perched on a chair and is huge! Seriously my normally tall Big Papi (who is 6’7) is dwarfed by the sitting Big Bird. This does not matter to the Caveman who immediately runs towards the familiar bright yellow bird as if he were a friend. Right to Big Bird is one half of the dynamic duo, Ernie, who is a favorite in the Alien/Caveman household. Ernie gets high fives, and of course it happens to fast for my camera to capture, drat! We finally find our seats and I notice a mom filling whole plates with tater tots, eggs, and bacon. She takes it to her table so that her family can eat family style. Not a bad idea. I get the Caveman some cereal and then fill a plate with a little bit of this or that for him. The Alien is happily chomping on some Cheerios. Suddenly I notice a large golden monster arrive at our table. Zoe is gracing us with her presence. She is a delightful eating companion and the Caveman is so happy.
Then we walk across the room to meet the monster himself: ELMO! The Caveman loves Elmo, needing to watch the Elmo potty DVD every evening. He should be potty trained right as we speak because of the amount of time that has been spent with Elmo and the potty. Elmo is sitting in a corner with a photographer, which means that I can be in the picture too. The Caveman could not be happier, truly worth the money.
10:30ish: We leave the character breakfast and grab our stroller. The plan is to avoid the water rides because we left our suits in the car. A difference in the park as the weather is cool. There are not as many people in the park and arriving in Elmo’s world play area there is just a scattering of families. One feature of this area is something called Big Bird’s Nest which is a large area for children five and under. The Alien loves crawling and trying to walk. The Caveman runs circles. The kids could have stayed there all day long at that one attraction. While one parent watched the Alien on the Bird’s nest the other would take the Caveman on rides. It was just a fun time.
12:30ish: We decide that it is getting too hot for the Alien and decide to end our time at the park. Of course we stop at one of the many shops and walk out with an Ernie for the Caveman, an Abby Cadaby for the Alien and a Cookie Monster Cookie Jar for me!
While walking out we decide instead of heading back to the hotel lets drive the two hours and hit the Crayola Crayon Factory in Eaton. Well, we do a quick stop at the hotel to get directions, we are one of the few families in America without a GPS.
Big Papi runs into the hotel and its business center to print out directions to Crayola. He decides to take a back way.
2:00ish: Stop at a Wawa to get a little bit of lunch. I love Wawa and think it is a smart concept. I also get some of those baked cheesy snack things that I would never allow but it is a vacation. The Alien, it turns out, loves puffy cheesy snacks. So loved are these snacks that as the Alien eats them she first rolls the snack and the bright orange cheesy powder all over her face and feet. By the time we get to Crayola it takes half a box of wipes to get her to the point where she can go out into public.
Crayola was not what I expected. Right in the middle of downtown Easton, the factory is not a factory at all but basically organized chaos. I cannot believe they allow hundreds of children at a time access to paint, clay dough, and markers. There are stations set up where kids can do art projects. There is also this really cool body heat camera where while you dance to Disney music your body is shown in really cool colors like a lava lamp on a big screen. The Caveman runs from one end of the place to another, while the Alien is with Big Papi doing stuff. I think we would have enjoyed the place more if the kids were older, not certain it is good for two year olds.
We leave Crayola and head to the Crayola store. An entire store for crayons! The store features the world largest crayon. We purchase stuff for the kids and then load them into the car. Mommy takes a nap and we arrive back at the hotel around 5:30.
7:00ish: Starving and tired of the food we brought, Big Papi suggest Chinese food. Yum! We get a recommendation from the desk clerk who says she orders from this one restaurant at least twice a week. We notice the great prices and decide to have it delivered.
When the food arrives I open a pint of chicken fried rice for the Caveman and notice how pale the rice is, like they forgot the soy sauce or only used the bare minimum amount of claim it is fried rice. The only vegetables I see in the rice are the largest pieces of onion I have ever seen. I pour some on a plate for the Caveman and take a taste. Gross the worse rice ever! The chicken is rubbery, the rice dry and hard. I am fearful for my dinner of chicken and broccoli. Again the chicken rubbery the sauce gross, I didn’t finish it. Big Papi’s shrimp lo mien is worse. The noodles are so soft they are like mush and the shrimp has the bounce of a super ball. We didn’t even try the egg rolls. Everything went into the trash and after brushing twice I still have the after taste of the dinner.
Get the kids into bed and thankfully the Alien sleeps.
In fact that day was so crazy I do not have the regular time entries so most is coming straight from memory. You’ll see why:
6:35am: Worse night ever! Seriously want to kill the Alien and Big Papi. Before we left on the trip the Alien was showing signs of having a cold, and that almost always leads to an ear infection. Why do I know these things? Call it mommy instincts or part of the super power package of mommies. I mean come on, how is it that your mom knew when you were about to get into trouble without needing to be a witness to said trouble? The Alien in Pennsylvania was also different because my Alien is my favorite at night time because she sleeps through the night. She may wake up at 5:00am but by golly the Alien in this house hold sleeps through the night.
Not in hotel rooms apparently. I, myself, need an absolutely dark room, complete with white noise from the fan, and plenty of blankets. The hotel would not allow this many people to have a king size bed, know they insisted we get to full size beds. This was great for the Caveman, who in previous blogs has been known to not sleep the night away. The Alien every hour on the hour screaming at the top of her lungs is not the kind of white noise this mommy needs.
I claim it is because of the ear ache; Big Papi thinks that it is because she is out of her environment. When I get no sleep I am truly evil; add an amusement park with hundreds of preschoolers and well let’s just say momma isn’t happy. Now also throw in a husband who isn’t listening to my mommy instincts, I know sleep is a bottle of anti-biotic away!
He finally commits to taking the Alien to an urgent care facility nearby. This was around 4:30 and I just got off of the phone with him. Yep, the start of an ear infection, I don’t want to be right about this one because that means the Alien is in pain but I told you so Big Papi.
9:15ish: We are currently outside the park waiting for the gates to come up. Today is our breakfast with Elmo. That’s right folks for $16.00 a person, including the Caveman, you have a chance to actually meet Elmo and a few of his friends. You have to arrive at the gates early. Thank goodness we booked this in March because when the gates open we get one of the good seats right next to the breakfast buffet. The breakfast not so great, but they do have Apple Jacks which is the Caveman’s favorite. Also featured on the bar is scrambled eggs, very limp bacon, sausage links, tater tots, and French toast sticks. There is also whole fruit, a selection of cereals, and juice and coffee.
As we walk immediately I notice that in the middle of the room Big Bird is perched on a chair and is huge! Seriously my normally tall Big Papi (who is 6’7) is dwarfed by the sitting Big Bird. This does not matter to the Caveman who immediately runs towards the familiar bright yellow bird as if he were a friend. Right to Big Bird is one half of the dynamic duo, Ernie, who is a favorite in the Alien/Caveman household. Ernie gets high fives, and of course it happens to fast for my camera to capture, drat! We finally find our seats and I notice a mom filling whole plates with tater tots, eggs, and bacon. She takes it to her table so that her family can eat family style. Not a bad idea. I get the Caveman some cereal and then fill a plate with a little bit of this or that for him. The Alien is happily chomping on some Cheerios. Suddenly I notice a large golden monster arrive at our table. Zoe is gracing us with her presence. She is a delightful eating companion and the Caveman is so happy.
Then we walk across the room to meet the monster himself: ELMO! The Caveman loves Elmo, needing to watch the Elmo potty DVD every evening. He should be potty trained right as we speak because of the amount of time that has been spent with Elmo and the potty. Elmo is sitting in a corner with a photographer, which means that I can be in the picture too. The Caveman could not be happier, truly worth the money.
10:30ish: We leave the character breakfast and grab our stroller. The plan is to avoid the water rides because we left our suits in the car. A difference in the park as the weather is cool. There are not as many people in the park and arriving in Elmo’s world play area there is just a scattering of families. One feature of this area is something called Big Bird’s Nest which is a large area for children five and under. The Alien loves crawling and trying to walk. The Caveman runs circles. The kids could have stayed there all day long at that one attraction. While one parent watched the Alien on the Bird’s nest the other would take the Caveman on rides. It was just a fun time.
12:30ish: We decide that it is getting too hot for the Alien and decide to end our time at the park. Of course we stop at one of the many shops and walk out with an Ernie for the Caveman, an Abby Cadaby for the Alien and a Cookie Monster Cookie Jar for me!
While walking out we decide instead of heading back to the hotel lets drive the two hours and hit the Crayola Crayon Factory in Eaton. Well, we do a quick stop at the hotel to get directions, we are one of the few families in America without a GPS.
Big Papi runs into the hotel and its business center to print out directions to Crayola. He decides to take a back way.
2:00ish: Stop at a Wawa to get a little bit of lunch. I love Wawa and think it is a smart concept. I also get some of those baked cheesy snack things that I would never allow but it is a vacation. The Alien, it turns out, loves puffy cheesy snacks. So loved are these snacks that as the Alien eats them she first rolls the snack and the bright orange cheesy powder all over her face and feet. By the time we get to Crayola it takes half a box of wipes to get her to the point where she can go out into public.
Crayola was not what I expected. Right in the middle of downtown Easton, the factory is not a factory at all but basically organized chaos. I cannot believe they allow hundreds of children at a time access to paint, clay dough, and markers. There are stations set up where kids can do art projects. There is also this really cool body heat camera where while you dance to Disney music your body is shown in really cool colors like a lava lamp on a big screen. The Caveman runs from one end of the place to another, while the Alien is with Big Papi doing stuff. I think we would have enjoyed the place more if the kids were older, not certain it is good for two year olds.
We leave Crayola and head to the Crayola store. An entire store for crayons! The store features the world largest crayon. We purchase stuff for the kids and then load them into the car. Mommy takes a nap and we arrive back at the hotel around 5:30.
7:00ish: Starving and tired of the food we brought, Big Papi suggest Chinese food. Yum! We get a recommendation from the desk clerk who says she orders from this one restaurant at least twice a week. We notice the great prices and decide to have it delivered.
When the food arrives I open a pint of chicken fried rice for the Caveman and notice how pale the rice is, like they forgot the soy sauce or only used the bare minimum amount of claim it is fried rice. The only vegetables I see in the rice are the largest pieces of onion I have ever seen. I pour some on a plate for the Caveman and take a taste. Gross the worse rice ever! The chicken is rubbery, the rice dry and hard. I am fearful for my dinner of chicken and broccoli. Again the chicken rubbery the sauce gross, I didn’t finish it. Big Papi’s shrimp lo mien is worse. The noodles are so soft they are like mush and the shrimp has the bounce of a super ball. We didn’t even try the egg rolls. Everything went into the trash and after brushing twice I still have the after taste of the dinner.
Get the kids into bed and thankfully the Alien sleeps.
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
Adventures in Sesame Place part 2
So who are the people in your neighborhood? I swear if I hear that song one more time I will kill someone.
Sesame Street adventures part 2:
5:49am- I am awake. Seriously because the Alien is awake; she wants a bottle. There must be a Saturday/vacation function on these children. I haven’t found a way to turn on that option. Fine I will get up to make a bottle but come to find that Big Papi (who was in charge of bottles) only brought the one. Thank goodness mommy brought the incredible Method Cucumber Dish Soap. I love Method’s entire line of products. If someone from Method happens to read this blog please email me and I will gladly accept products. I can be bought with a lifetime supply of Go Naked Hand Soap!
With a clean bottle I realize that it was I who said bring only one bottle because I want to convert the Alien to regular milk and a sippy cup. Neither is working, and because I think the Alien is teething and has a cold I am willing to put up with formula bottles for the time being. Someone once asked me why I call them Caveman and Alien. I think the Caveman is self explanatory but the Alien is because often there is various amounts of gross fluid-like items that spew out of various orifices on her body.
Since I am awake decide to check internet only to notice it is down. Is this a sign for the remainder of the day? I hope not.
7:06 am- Ask James to go online and find a Target near the hotel so that I might be able to get a battery charger for the digital camera and to also confirm that we are in civilization. If there is no Target near you, I am so sorry. I am not sure I would survive as a person without a Target nearby. Thankfully with the internet back up Big Papi should be able to find a Target. But, first the man asks me, his wife (who has been awake since before six and who is trying to finish doing her hair and getting a Caveman from not playing “Monkeys on the Bed” at the same time) what is the zip code for the hotel.
I realize that as a mommy I have superpowers, but naming random zip codes of areas in the Northeast not one of them. When I inform him of this I get an eye roll worthy of a 14 teen year old girl. Assuming that Big Papi is not amused by my response I go back to explaining to the Caveman why we don’t want to do any sightseeing at the local hospitals.
8:31am- Alien is having her first fit of the morning as she has finished the bottle from before. This is a problem as we are in the car heading to the Target Big Papi claims is on the way to Sesame Place. Big Papi yells “Hey” to the one year old. I HATE when he does that, seriously how is that going to help. I remind him of this. The Caveman has happily requested the Coldplay live version of “Fix You.” When this song comes on I can’t help but remember that today is Tuesday and the day of Pastor Stowe’s funeral.
The Caveman is also wishing happy birthday to Big Papi, the Alien, and the large truck outside. No now he is yelling at his sippy cup for not being a good boom.
8:43 am- Big Papi is going to make us crash. Seriously need to publish this blog so that I can afford vacations without my family. Drat if I vacation without my family then what will I write about?
8:57- Just left Target without battery charger. Now I have already explained my need of a Target nearby, but now I have another requirement with people that actually know what they are doing when speaking to a guest. Target calls their customers guests. I have the Caveman with me as Big Papi is trying to make a bottle for the Alien. I go into the electronics department and look all around for battery chargers. Now there are five Target team members putting DVDs and CDs out. I finally give up and track down one of the various team members to ask if they have an Olympus battery charger. Here is how this conversation went:
Me: “Excuse me, do y’all carry battery charger for Olympus cameras?”
Target Dude 1: “Yo, Mike do we sell battery chargers for Olympus cameras?” This is said to guy right next to him.
Target Dude 2 aka Mike : “No” to Target Dude 1.
Target Dude 1: “No” to me
Me: “Okay, do you know where I could buy one. Like a Best Buy maybe?”
Target Dude 1: “Yo, Mike, do you know where she could get one?”
Target Dude 2 aka Mike: “Near your house.”
Target Dude 1 to me “Near my house.”
Me: “Excuse me?!?”
Target Dude 1 “You know Langhorne!”
Me “As in Sesame Place Langhorne?”
Target Dude 1: “Yes.”
I am in such shock about this conversation that I leave the store amazed and with a new idea for a chapter in my book about customer service: never assume your customer knows where you live.
9:28 am- Have stopped at a Chick-fil-a for breakfast that is right next to Sesame Place. Joy and they have sweet tea. All is not lost, but realize I did not buy wipes at the Target before at the last exit. As we leave the shopping center I notice that they not only have a Michael’s craft store but right next to it an A.C. Moore craft store. What kind of game is Langhorne playing with. Why on earth do you need two crafts store in the same shopping center?
9:30am- Still in shopping center with crazy amounts of craft stores and we cannot find a way out. It has us trapped. That is so we are forced to shop there. It is a conspiracy. No wait we found a way out but now the road has random cement on it with Chevys. And we cannot find our way to another Target to get wipes. Big Papi is finally able to make a u-turn. Kids are blissfully quiet.
9:54am- Finally in line for parking at Sesame Place! And it only cost us $15.00 dollars to park across the street from the park. Also it is strange to see so many New Jersey license plates in one area. Gosh, I feel like a tourist! Also, Caveman claims that we are not going to Sesame Place but to the park. I don’t feel like correcting him, but makes me think that I could have saved all this money and just taken him to Fort Fun at home. The Alien is humming to herself and is now eating her foot. No, not the Alien just grabbed the Caveman’s cup.
Finally get to our parking space and I immediately pull out the sun screen and liberally apply to both kids and myself. Big Papi can put it on if he wants to.
12:30ish: My first chance to write down my thoughts since walking into the park. As soon as we entered the park we headed straight for the stroller and locker reservation center. Thank goodness we reserved these ahead of time, though most people seem to have their own strollers as well. Get the kids and all our stuff on the stroller. We have two bags and three large beach towels as all my online research has told me that these are needed. Stash some stuff in the lockers and then head to purchase hats for the Alien and Caveman. Find adorable Abby Cadaby hat for the Alien and Elmo hat for the Caveman. Caveman immediately puts hat backwards and the Alien is trying her best to remove her hat.
We then head down and actually see a version of Sesame Street! Complete with Oscar’s can and light post! I would love to have pictures to show you but battery power is precious! Head to a merry go round looking thing and get in line. As we are in line I notice a family in Virginia gear. I yell out Go Hoos, and they respond in kind with a Wahoo Wa! Fun!
It is our turn for the ride and both kids love it. At one point I can tell the Caveman wants his horse to go faster while the Alien just sits there and hangs on. Big Papi is in the middle to make sure that neither child falls off.
Get off that and I discover that Elmo’s World Live is about to start. We head over and the Caveman is delighted to see Mr. Noodle, Dorothy, and Elmo talking about fish. What is really fun is that there are so many little kids that when the Alien starts cause a fuss there are a least three other children doing the same. And parents are so busy taking pictures of their own children to be busy with mine.
Actually this is an interesting thing that happens in a park for small children. As a mom of really cute children I often get strangers stopping me to admire my children. That didn’t happen here, and I’m not sure I like it. Sorry fold your kids are not as cute as mine.
After the show we head to the potty so that the Caveman can get changed. We also put on the water shoes. I am also on the lookout for a water fountain. Seriously there are none! So I finally give in and get in line with the slowest teenager on the planet. I purchase two sports bottles that allow for cheaper re-fills and have my first soda in almost two years.
At this moment I realize that the Alien has lost her hat! Blast it! Big Papi has been very productive marking on the map which attractions the children can actually participate in. The Caveman announces that he wants to go to a pool so we head to the Count’s Splash Castle. This fortress of water has a 1000 gallon bucket that dumps every 15 minutes. The Caveman is delighted. The Alien and I head to find shade. Right now we are sitting across from first aid and lost parents.
Another fun thing about being in a theme park for toddlers is that most of the women in the park have given birth which means no flat stomachs. It is very reassuring to know that I am not the only one who still looks like she is pregnant. The Alien starts getting fussy so I change her diaper in the stroller, thank goodness again that this seems perfectly normal with hundreds of preschoolers running around. There is a huge amount of strollers to avoid.
Then the Alien and I head towards the Count Castle again and I look through the sea of dads because this sort of thing is a dad thing. I finally see the Caveman and Big Papi at the top of the Castle under the 1000 gallon bucket. The bucket dumps the water and the Caveman is the happiest little guy in the world. I am so happy we came until I realize that Big Papi and the Caveman are in line for a water slide!
WTF! Seriously dads out there do you not realize that your wives spent hours in pain to bring your children into the world. Not to mention stretch marks, sagging boobs, and too much contact with poop. Now you want to bring my baby on a ride that can cause bodily harm, not to mention that the Caveman is not wearing his swimsuit that has the floaties built in. I watch with horror when the Caveman goes down the slide feet first and manages to go down face first which means that somewhere he is toss into three feet of water. Thankfully there is a life guard right there to get him out. Big Papi comes shooting out of the slide and sees me. He knows he is busted.
He grabs the Caveman and heads towards the Alien and I. The Alien at this point is screaming at the top of her lungs. I am hot tired and over the crowds. The Caveman is in full out temper tantrum complete with whole body hysterics. We put him into the stroller and I announce that it is time to go. Of course the Caveman is screaming our entire time heading towards the front. We get the stuff out of the locker where we run into a family who wants a stroller and is willing to pay $20.00 bucks for ours. I say sure since we were leaving anyway. Grab our stuff and practically drag the Caveman kicking and screaming to the exit. Finally Big Papi has both kids and a bag while I have all the towels and the other bag. We make it to the parking lot where another car asks us if we are leaving and could they have our spot. Please it is all yours!
The Caveman is beyond repair. The Alien is scary. I tell Big Papi stop at Best Buy because we have to get that charger. I leave him to handle the kids and I rejoice the minute I step into the air conditioned and grown up filled Best Buy. They of course have exactly what I need. I also grab lemonade and water for the baby and notice that the book, Twilight, is on sale. In desperation to escape my family I grab a copy and plan to send everyone else to the pool. I really don’t want to read Twilight but I am hot, tired, and desperate.
I make a bottle for the Alien, and put the lemonade in the Caveman’s cup. In five minutes both are asleep. We decide to drive around the area and it really is nice. The houses all seem to be made of stone.
We finally get to the hotel and the kids are awake and hungry. I get them both some fruit and cheese. And try to get both to take a nap. It isn’t happening.
Tomorrow we have breakfast with Elmo. Tomorrow I am bringing my own water for bottles and the battery is fully charged. We will have a good time, damn it! I am the mommy and I say so!
Sesame Street adventures part 2:
5:49am- I am awake. Seriously because the Alien is awake; she wants a bottle. There must be a Saturday/vacation function on these children. I haven’t found a way to turn on that option. Fine I will get up to make a bottle but come to find that Big Papi (who was in charge of bottles) only brought the one. Thank goodness mommy brought the incredible Method Cucumber Dish Soap. I love Method’s entire line of products. If someone from Method happens to read this blog please email me and I will gladly accept products. I can be bought with a lifetime supply of Go Naked Hand Soap!
With a clean bottle I realize that it was I who said bring only one bottle because I want to convert the Alien to regular milk and a sippy cup. Neither is working, and because I think the Alien is teething and has a cold I am willing to put up with formula bottles for the time being. Someone once asked me why I call them Caveman and Alien. I think the Caveman is self explanatory but the Alien is because often there is various amounts of gross fluid-like items that spew out of various orifices on her body.
Since I am awake decide to check internet only to notice it is down. Is this a sign for the remainder of the day? I hope not.
7:06 am- Ask James to go online and find a Target near the hotel so that I might be able to get a battery charger for the digital camera and to also confirm that we are in civilization. If there is no Target near you, I am so sorry. I am not sure I would survive as a person without a Target nearby. Thankfully with the internet back up Big Papi should be able to find a Target. But, first the man asks me, his wife (who has been awake since before six and who is trying to finish doing her hair and getting a Caveman from not playing “Monkeys on the Bed” at the same time) what is the zip code for the hotel.
I realize that as a mommy I have superpowers, but naming random zip codes of areas in the Northeast not one of them. When I inform him of this I get an eye roll worthy of a 14 teen year old girl. Assuming that Big Papi is not amused by my response I go back to explaining to the Caveman why we don’t want to do any sightseeing at the local hospitals.
8:31am- Alien is having her first fit of the morning as she has finished the bottle from before. This is a problem as we are in the car heading to the Target Big Papi claims is on the way to Sesame Place. Big Papi yells “Hey” to the one year old. I HATE when he does that, seriously how is that going to help. I remind him of this. The Caveman has happily requested the Coldplay live version of “Fix You.” When this song comes on I can’t help but remember that today is Tuesday and the day of Pastor Stowe’s funeral.
The Caveman is also wishing happy birthday to Big Papi, the Alien, and the large truck outside. No now he is yelling at his sippy cup for not being a good boom.
8:43 am- Big Papi is going to make us crash. Seriously need to publish this blog so that I can afford vacations without my family. Drat if I vacation without my family then what will I write about?
8:57- Just left Target without battery charger. Now I have already explained my need of a Target nearby, but now I have another requirement with people that actually know what they are doing when speaking to a guest. Target calls their customers guests. I have the Caveman with me as Big Papi is trying to make a bottle for the Alien. I go into the electronics department and look all around for battery chargers. Now there are five Target team members putting DVDs and CDs out. I finally give up and track down one of the various team members to ask if they have an Olympus battery charger. Here is how this conversation went:
Me: “Excuse me, do y’all carry battery charger for Olympus cameras?”
Target Dude 1: “Yo, Mike do we sell battery chargers for Olympus cameras?” This is said to guy right next to him.
Target Dude 2 aka Mike : “No” to Target Dude 1.
Target Dude 1: “No” to me
Me: “Okay, do you know where I could buy one. Like a Best Buy maybe?”
Target Dude 1: “Yo, Mike, do you know where she could get one?”
Target Dude 2 aka Mike: “Near your house.”
Target Dude 1 to me “Near my house.”
Me: “Excuse me?!?”
Target Dude 1 “You know Langhorne!”
Me “As in Sesame Place Langhorne?”
Target Dude 1: “Yes.”
I am in such shock about this conversation that I leave the store amazed and with a new idea for a chapter in my book about customer service: never assume your customer knows where you live.
9:28 am- Have stopped at a Chick-fil-a for breakfast that is right next to Sesame Place. Joy and they have sweet tea. All is not lost, but realize I did not buy wipes at the Target before at the last exit. As we leave the shopping center I notice that they not only have a Michael’s craft store but right next to it an A.C. Moore craft store. What kind of game is Langhorne playing with. Why on earth do you need two crafts store in the same shopping center?
9:30am- Still in shopping center with crazy amounts of craft stores and we cannot find a way out. It has us trapped. That is so we are forced to shop there. It is a conspiracy. No wait we found a way out but now the road has random cement on it with Chevys. And we cannot find our way to another Target to get wipes. Big Papi is finally able to make a u-turn. Kids are blissfully quiet.
9:54am- Finally in line for parking at Sesame Place! And it only cost us $15.00 dollars to park across the street from the park. Also it is strange to see so many New Jersey license plates in one area. Gosh, I feel like a tourist! Also, Caveman claims that we are not going to Sesame Place but to the park. I don’t feel like correcting him, but makes me think that I could have saved all this money and just taken him to Fort Fun at home. The Alien is humming to herself and is now eating her foot. No, not the Alien just grabbed the Caveman’s cup.
Finally get to our parking space and I immediately pull out the sun screen and liberally apply to both kids and myself. Big Papi can put it on if he wants to.
12:30ish: My first chance to write down my thoughts since walking into the park. As soon as we entered the park we headed straight for the stroller and locker reservation center. Thank goodness we reserved these ahead of time, though most people seem to have their own strollers as well. Get the kids and all our stuff on the stroller. We have two bags and three large beach towels as all my online research has told me that these are needed. Stash some stuff in the lockers and then head to purchase hats for the Alien and Caveman. Find adorable Abby Cadaby hat for the Alien and Elmo hat for the Caveman. Caveman immediately puts hat backwards and the Alien is trying her best to remove her hat.
We then head down and actually see a version of Sesame Street! Complete with Oscar’s can and light post! I would love to have pictures to show you but battery power is precious! Head to a merry go round looking thing and get in line. As we are in line I notice a family in Virginia gear. I yell out Go Hoos, and they respond in kind with a Wahoo Wa! Fun!
It is our turn for the ride and both kids love it. At one point I can tell the Caveman wants his horse to go faster while the Alien just sits there and hangs on. Big Papi is in the middle to make sure that neither child falls off.
Get off that and I discover that Elmo’s World Live is about to start. We head over and the Caveman is delighted to see Mr. Noodle, Dorothy, and Elmo talking about fish. What is really fun is that there are so many little kids that when the Alien starts cause a fuss there are a least three other children doing the same. And parents are so busy taking pictures of their own children to be busy with mine.
Actually this is an interesting thing that happens in a park for small children. As a mom of really cute children I often get strangers stopping me to admire my children. That didn’t happen here, and I’m not sure I like it. Sorry fold your kids are not as cute as mine.
After the show we head to the potty so that the Caveman can get changed. We also put on the water shoes. I am also on the lookout for a water fountain. Seriously there are none! So I finally give in and get in line with the slowest teenager on the planet. I purchase two sports bottles that allow for cheaper re-fills and have my first soda in almost two years.
At this moment I realize that the Alien has lost her hat! Blast it! Big Papi has been very productive marking on the map which attractions the children can actually participate in. The Caveman announces that he wants to go to a pool so we head to the Count’s Splash Castle. This fortress of water has a 1000 gallon bucket that dumps every 15 minutes. The Caveman is delighted. The Alien and I head to find shade. Right now we are sitting across from first aid and lost parents.
Another fun thing about being in a theme park for toddlers is that most of the women in the park have given birth which means no flat stomachs. It is very reassuring to know that I am not the only one who still looks like she is pregnant. The Alien starts getting fussy so I change her diaper in the stroller, thank goodness again that this seems perfectly normal with hundreds of preschoolers running around. There is a huge amount of strollers to avoid.
Then the Alien and I head towards the Count Castle again and I look through the sea of dads because this sort of thing is a dad thing. I finally see the Caveman and Big Papi at the top of the Castle under the 1000 gallon bucket. The bucket dumps the water and the Caveman is the happiest little guy in the world. I am so happy we came until I realize that Big Papi and the Caveman are in line for a water slide!
WTF! Seriously dads out there do you not realize that your wives spent hours in pain to bring your children into the world. Not to mention stretch marks, sagging boobs, and too much contact with poop. Now you want to bring my baby on a ride that can cause bodily harm, not to mention that the Caveman is not wearing his swimsuit that has the floaties built in. I watch with horror when the Caveman goes down the slide feet first and manages to go down face first which means that somewhere he is toss into three feet of water. Thankfully there is a life guard right there to get him out. Big Papi comes shooting out of the slide and sees me. He knows he is busted.
He grabs the Caveman and heads towards the Alien and I. The Alien at this point is screaming at the top of her lungs. I am hot tired and over the crowds. The Caveman is in full out temper tantrum complete with whole body hysterics. We put him into the stroller and I announce that it is time to go. Of course the Caveman is screaming our entire time heading towards the front. We get the stuff out of the locker where we run into a family who wants a stroller and is willing to pay $20.00 bucks for ours. I say sure since we were leaving anyway. Grab our stuff and practically drag the Caveman kicking and screaming to the exit. Finally Big Papi has both kids and a bag while I have all the towels and the other bag. We make it to the parking lot where another car asks us if we are leaving and could they have our spot. Please it is all yours!
The Caveman is beyond repair. The Alien is scary. I tell Big Papi stop at Best Buy because we have to get that charger. I leave him to handle the kids and I rejoice the minute I step into the air conditioned and grown up filled Best Buy. They of course have exactly what I need. I also grab lemonade and water for the baby and notice that the book, Twilight, is on sale. In desperation to escape my family I grab a copy and plan to send everyone else to the pool. I really don’t want to read Twilight but I am hot, tired, and desperate.
I make a bottle for the Alien, and put the lemonade in the Caveman’s cup. In five minutes both are asleep. We decide to drive around the area and it really is nice. The houses all seem to be made of stone.
We finally get to the hotel and the kids are awake and hungry. I get them both some fruit and cheese. And try to get both to take a nap. It isn’t happening.
Tomorrow we have breakfast with Elmo. Tomorrow I am bringing my own water for bottles and the battery is fully charged. We will have a good time, damn it! I am the mommy and I say so!
Monday, August 3, 2009
The Caveman and Alien Go To Visit Elmo part 1
So I think that I was crazy to think that I could pull off this whole family vacation thing.
Here is a time line of our first day adventures of going to Sesame Place.
8:21am- We leave the house fully packed ready to go. Well actually not quite as we first have to stop by Crazy Grandma and Dude-pa’s house to colalect the soda we left from the Bugg and Dr. Richie’s birthday party. Actually if I’m honest the Crazy Grandma doesn’t believe that Big Papi and I are capable of taking her children across state lines on vacation. Seriously she comes out in her robe and then adjusts the way we have something in the back of our Durango. Finally after we get the soda we head out and go past the fire station. The Caveman is way into the fire trucks, and literally screams with the passion of groupie. “FIRE TRUCKS!!!!!!!”
As we drive off Big Papi is imagining a bug attack (not happening, I think we need to start calling him Crazy Big Papi). Just realized that we forgot the pack n play for the Alien to sleep in at the hotel and have to go back to our house to pick it up and try to squeeze it between the cooler with drinks and food and the rest of our luggage. Seriously I believe that nomadic tribes cart around less stuff than we have packed for a three day trip from Virginia to Pennsylvania. We are not even camping. I am pretty sure there is a Target somewhere.
Arriving at our house we notice city workers in front of it weed whacking the drainage ditch in front of our house. How nice until I realize that they are also blowing said weeds onto my lawn! Grrr! Seriously, City of Hampton stop being silly and just give me a sewer therefore you don’t have to spread weeds on my lawn.
Off topic, finally hit the road.
8:48am- Okay not really on the road- stop at 7-11 to buy ice for the cooler. We are bringing a full cooler of Caveman/Alien/Parent friendly food for several reasons but the big one is the fact that cavemen and restaurants don’t mix. He doesn’t understand why he has to sit at the table and not scream at the top of his lungs. Plus we’ll save money for more important things like the dinner Friday night with our grown up friends to remind ourselves to never take a vacation with our children again.
9:02am- No, not on the road yet, in line for Chick-fil-a. I have a slight obsession with their sweet tea and chicken biscuits. As I am on vacation the carbs do not count. The line, like at any Chick-fil-a is long, but so worth it for that incredible chicken. Suddenly Big Papi rushes out of the car and runs literally like a little girl- arms flapping about to the trash can to throw away something. As he runs back I am looking him like my husband just jumped off the short bus. Finally get our food, and get on the interstate, finally officially on our way.
9:41- Joy, the first temper tantrum from the Caveman as we are barely leaving the Peninsula area heading to Richmond. We are currently listening to what the Caveman describes as ‘drums.’ Drums are songs that have good amount of drumming in them because he likes to drum along. Really cute most of the time but not when the radio starts breaking up and suddenly my adorable Caveman becomes a two year old hysterical maniac. It gets so bad that I threaten to take us home if he doesn’t stop we will turn the car around and there will be no Elmo ever. At that moment I have become a full fledge grown-up.
10:19- I am informed by the Caveman that the car is in time out. No wait he wants to listen to Coldplay’s “Viva la Viva” and is drumming away.
11:00- Make a gas stop in Fredericksburg and I need to potty. Of course Big Papi being a man suggests that I simply use the restroom at the gas station. Okay, maybe I am a snob but since I am a girl I don’t want my lady parts on a restroom at a gas station. Particularly a gas station that isn’t set up for public use. I do not have a germ phobia, but still the thought of using the bathroom that only the employees use, creeps me out. How do we know when the last time that bathroom was cleaned properly? I realize that this could and does apply to public restrooms but at least most places will attempt to keep those clean. I use the excuse that the Caveman needs to run off some energy so I suggest we find a McDonald’s with an indoor playground and let him play for a half hour. Big Papi agrees, and I use the potty- very clean with toilet paper and soap thank goodness. And we let the Caveman play while snacking on French fries.
I realize at this moment I should have brought the camera inside because Big Papi in all his 6’7 glory is trying to go through the tunnels of the play place with the Caveman. Hilarious.
After about a half hour we inform the Caveman that McDonald’s needs a nap and we have to leave. The Caveman isn’t buying it and screams so loudly people must think that my husband and I are kidnapping him.
11:10 am – Caveman finally calms down when I put in Drowning Pools “Let the Bodies Hit the Floor.” He is happily drumming along; I should be mommy of the year.
1:00 pm- Near the BWI airport and stop at an office complex to have lunch. At this point both kids are over being in the car seats. After out lunch both kids are screaming and Big Papi is getting on my nerves because the kids are getting on his nerves. I am now realizing that maybe I should have planned spa weekend with the girls. Family togetherness is just silly. The Caveman is now rocking to Rage Against the Machine’s “Renegades of Funk.” We are half way there, thank goodness.
1:55 pm- Finally I-95 to New York. Seriously the Caveman is in his second timeout. Car timeouts consist of mommy taking away his drum sticks and no music at all. This time out is because the Caveman doesn’t want to listen to what mommy and daddy want to listen to. Is he too young for his own i-pod with ear phones?
2:08 pm- We are on a bridge outside of Baltimore that is really high. Completely forgot that Big Papi hates really tall bridges. He is breathing in and out which I find hysterical. I know I shouldn’t be making fun of a real fear but the world’s tallest man can’t handle a bridge.
Bridge is over and coming up to a toll plaza. $5.00 dollars for a toll- outrageous! The song on the radio is “Apologize” by One Republic. Caveman still isn’t excited about the song selection and Big Papi still looks like he needs a valium. Alien is eating her own foot.
2:51pm- Saw a giant billboard that says “I hate Steven Singer.” I don’t know who Steven Singer is but that is a really expensive way to show that you hate him who ever paid for that billboard. Song of the radio is “Love Song” by the Cure.
3:01pm- Outside of Philadelphia and we encounter a police car. Not a state trooper, no this was for the postal police. The post office has its own police department? Maybe that is why the stamps are so expensive.
I stopped taking notes after this because we did get a little confused about an exit- not clearly marked. The best part about that was a car next to us asked us for directions. Yeah did you not realize we are in Pennsylvania and our plates say we are from Virginia. The car is also looking for the exit we are trying to take and when we inform them we do not know where we are going they decide to follow us. I feel a little like the Amazing Race as do your own direction getting folks!
After that we finally find the exit and glorious sighting of the hotel is in front of us. We check in, the room is clean and we are renting a mini fridge for $10 dollars a day. Big Papi unloads the car as I am trying to keep the Caveman from opening the door and the Alien out of the toilet water. I prepare dinner for the kids and then the Caveman and Big Papi spend two hours in the pool. The Alien and I spent some quality time of tickling.
It is now almost 9:00 and I am beat. The Caveman and Alien are wiped out and Big Papi and I are watching CBS comedies and sitting in the most comfy desk chair in the world. More adventures to come tomorrow.
Here is a time line of our first day adventures of going to Sesame Place.
8:21am- We leave the house fully packed ready to go. Well actually not quite as we first have to stop by Crazy Grandma and Dude-pa’s house to colalect the soda we left from the Bugg and Dr. Richie’s birthday party. Actually if I’m honest the Crazy Grandma doesn’t believe that Big Papi and I are capable of taking her children across state lines on vacation. Seriously she comes out in her robe and then adjusts the way we have something in the back of our Durango. Finally after we get the soda we head out and go past the fire station. The Caveman is way into the fire trucks, and literally screams with the passion of groupie. “FIRE TRUCKS!!!!!!!”
As we drive off Big Papi is imagining a bug attack (not happening, I think we need to start calling him Crazy Big Papi). Just realized that we forgot the pack n play for the Alien to sleep in at the hotel and have to go back to our house to pick it up and try to squeeze it between the cooler with drinks and food and the rest of our luggage. Seriously I believe that nomadic tribes cart around less stuff than we have packed for a three day trip from Virginia to Pennsylvania. We are not even camping. I am pretty sure there is a Target somewhere.
Arriving at our house we notice city workers in front of it weed whacking the drainage ditch in front of our house. How nice until I realize that they are also blowing said weeds onto my lawn! Grrr! Seriously, City of Hampton stop being silly and just give me a sewer therefore you don’t have to spread weeds on my lawn.
Off topic, finally hit the road.
8:48am- Okay not really on the road- stop at 7-11 to buy ice for the cooler. We are bringing a full cooler of Caveman/Alien/Parent friendly food for several reasons but the big one is the fact that cavemen and restaurants don’t mix. He doesn’t understand why he has to sit at the table and not scream at the top of his lungs. Plus we’ll save money for more important things like the dinner Friday night with our grown up friends to remind ourselves to never take a vacation with our children again.
9:02am- No, not on the road yet, in line for Chick-fil-a. I have a slight obsession with their sweet tea and chicken biscuits. As I am on vacation the carbs do not count. The line, like at any Chick-fil-a is long, but so worth it for that incredible chicken. Suddenly Big Papi rushes out of the car and runs literally like a little girl- arms flapping about to the trash can to throw away something. As he runs back I am looking him like my husband just jumped off the short bus. Finally get our food, and get on the interstate, finally officially on our way.
9:41- Joy, the first temper tantrum from the Caveman as we are barely leaving the Peninsula area heading to Richmond. We are currently listening to what the Caveman describes as ‘drums.’ Drums are songs that have good amount of drumming in them because he likes to drum along. Really cute most of the time but not when the radio starts breaking up and suddenly my adorable Caveman becomes a two year old hysterical maniac. It gets so bad that I threaten to take us home if he doesn’t stop we will turn the car around and there will be no Elmo ever. At that moment I have become a full fledge grown-up.
10:19- I am informed by the Caveman that the car is in time out. No wait he wants to listen to Coldplay’s “Viva la Viva” and is drumming away.
11:00- Make a gas stop in Fredericksburg and I need to potty. Of course Big Papi being a man suggests that I simply use the restroom at the gas station. Okay, maybe I am a snob but since I am a girl I don’t want my lady parts on a restroom at a gas station. Particularly a gas station that isn’t set up for public use. I do not have a germ phobia, but still the thought of using the bathroom that only the employees use, creeps me out. How do we know when the last time that bathroom was cleaned properly? I realize that this could and does apply to public restrooms but at least most places will attempt to keep those clean. I use the excuse that the Caveman needs to run off some energy so I suggest we find a McDonald’s with an indoor playground and let him play for a half hour. Big Papi agrees, and I use the potty- very clean with toilet paper and soap thank goodness. And we let the Caveman play while snacking on French fries.
I realize at this moment I should have brought the camera inside because Big Papi in all his 6’7 glory is trying to go through the tunnels of the play place with the Caveman. Hilarious.
After about a half hour we inform the Caveman that McDonald’s needs a nap and we have to leave. The Caveman isn’t buying it and screams so loudly people must think that my husband and I are kidnapping him.
11:10 am – Caveman finally calms down when I put in Drowning Pools “Let the Bodies Hit the Floor.” He is happily drumming along; I should be mommy of the year.
1:00 pm- Near the BWI airport and stop at an office complex to have lunch. At this point both kids are over being in the car seats. After out lunch both kids are screaming and Big Papi is getting on my nerves because the kids are getting on his nerves. I am now realizing that maybe I should have planned spa weekend with the girls. Family togetherness is just silly. The Caveman is now rocking to Rage Against the Machine’s “Renegades of Funk.” We are half way there, thank goodness.
1:55 pm- Finally I-95 to New York. Seriously the Caveman is in his second timeout. Car timeouts consist of mommy taking away his drum sticks and no music at all. This time out is because the Caveman doesn’t want to listen to what mommy and daddy want to listen to. Is he too young for his own i-pod with ear phones?
2:08 pm- We are on a bridge outside of Baltimore that is really high. Completely forgot that Big Papi hates really tall bridges. He is breathing in and out which I find hysterical. I know I shouldn’t be making fun of a real fear but the world’s tallest man can’t handle a bridge.
Bridge is over and coming up to a toll plaza. $5.00 dollars for a toll- outrageous! The song on the radio is “Apologize” by One Republic. Caveman still isn’t excited about the song selection and Big Papi still looks like he needs a valium. Alien is eating her own foot.
2:51pm- Saw a giant billboard that says “I hate Steven Singer.” I don’t know who Steven Singer is but that is a really expensive way to show that you hate him who ever paid for that billboard. Song of the radio is “Love Song” by the Cure.
3:01pm- Outside of Philadelphia and we encounter a police car. Not a state trooper, no this was for the postal police. The post office has its own police department? Maybe that is why the stamps are so expensive.
I stopped taking notes after this because we did get a little confused about an exit- not clearly marked. The best part about that was a car next to us asked us for directions. Yeah did you not realize we are in Pennsylvania and our plates say we are from Virginia. The car is also looking for the exit we are trying to take and when we inform them we do not know where we are going they decide to follow us. I feel a little like the Amazing Race as do your own direction getting folks!
After that we finally find the exit and glorious sighting of the hotel is in front of us. We check in, the room is clean and we are renting a mini fridge for $10 dollars a day. Big Papi unloads the car as I am trying to keep the Caveman from opening the door and the Alien out of the toilet water. I prepare dinner for the kids and then the Caveman and Big Papi spend two hours in the pool. The Alien and I spent some quality time of tickling.
It is now almost 9:00 and I am beat. The Caveman and Alien are wiped out and Big Papi and I are watching CBS comedies and sitting in the most comfy desk chair in the world. More adventures to come tomorrow.
Sesame Place or Bust!
So it is 5:30 in the morning, what am I doing awake? The Alien and Caveman household is driving to Sesame Place today!
There is a perk to this mommy thing especially these types of mornings where everyone is still asleep. I am really looking forward to the memories that my family will create- and that is what I am thinking of while looking at the mess my house is in because of packing.
Packing last night was interesting because the Caveman is in his ‘why’ stage. I started with his clothes first because we are truly blessed to have people with kids just barely bigger than he is so we receive a lot of hand me downs. Hand me downs are great for the environment and budget; seriously more families should swap clothes. We have just received a large amount of clothes from the Alien’s regular day care sitter (who is incredible btw) for the Caveman. I just haven’t had an opportunity to go through the pile. And the Caveman is getting taller- so tall. I compared pictures the other day of the same time last year with my brand-new Alien coming home and seeing the Caveman looking at her. He was a baby! Seriously he is now all little boy, asking questions and throwing tantrums. The Caveman can catch and throw a ball; he can put on his own shoes.
And the Alien is walking! Last night she started to say “uh-oh” which is so cute and probably the influence of the fact that the Caveman says that a lot.
I have been so busy with my school and marriage issues that maybe I haven’t been paying close enough attention to these little kids that are quickly growing. I think though that if I am honest even if I were a stay-at-home mom I would still be amazed that my children are growing so quickly.
While we are in Sesame Place I am going to do my best to blog about our adventures each evening. Wish us luck and safe journey- and help us think the clouds away.
There is a perk to this mommy thing especially these types of mornings where everyone is still asleep. I am really looking forward to the memories that my family will create- and that is what I am thinking of while looking at the mess my house is in because of packing.
Packing last night was interesting because the Caveman is in his ‘why’ stage. I started with his clothes first because we are truly blessed to have people with kids just barely bigger than he is so we receive a lot of hand me downs. Hand me downs are great for the environment and budget; seriously more families should swap clothes. We have just received a large amount of clothes from the Alien’s regular day care sitter (who is incredible btw) for the Caveman. I just haven’t had an opportunity to go through the pile. And the Caveman is getting taller- so tall. I compared pictures the other day of the same time last year with my brand-new Alien coming home and seeing the Caveman looking at her. He was a baby! Seriously he is now all little boy, asking questions and throwing tantrums. The Caveman can catch and throw a ball; he can put on his own shoes.
And the Alien is walking! Last night she started to say “uh-oh” which is so cute and probably the influence of the fact that the Caveman says that a lot.
I have been so busy with my school and marriage issues that maybe I haven’t been paying close enough attention to these little kids that are quickly growing. I think though that if I am honest even if I were a stay-at-home mom I would still be amazed that my children are growing so quickly.
While we are in Sesame Place I am going to do my best to blog about our adventures each evening. Wish us luck and safe journey- and help us think the clouds away.
Sunday, August 2, 2009
Good men must die, but death can not kill their names
So I can tell you how to get to Sesame Place, but I am not sure I want to go there right now.
This weekend should have been filled with anticipation for getting on the road with the Caveman, Alien, and Big Papi, but it wasn’t. This Sunday should have gone quickly because I had too much to do. Instead the seconds ticked as slowly as a child anticipating the arrival of Santa.
On Friday while sitting at my desk at work I received a call from Dude-pa, my step father. He called me to give me the news that my Pastor Stowe had passed away.
Pastor Stowe is the man who made me understand my faith and the importance of my role as spiritual guardian of my children. I met this man when I was 15, and while I appreciated his role I didn’t understand how important he was to forming the grown-up I am today.
When my parents decided to join Gloria Dei church I wanted no part of the church or relationship with God they were creating. I wasn’t ready. I didn’t think I believed in Jesus, God, the Holy Spirit. Actually if I’m honest I didn’t believe that God believed in me.
Pastor Stowe always believed in me. When I married Big Papi I actually decided to have the other pastor at our church marry us. I do not regret this as Pastor Freeborne is a man I admire and respect. Pastor Stowe still came to my wedding along with his beautiful wife Joy. I have amazing pictures of them dancing. When I had the Caveman I suddenly longed for the comfort of Pastor Stowe to lead my child to the water.
Getting ready for the baptism of my Caveman, I remember sitting in the Nave with Pastor Stowe and asking him about joining the church. He offered to come to our house, even while he had so much to do and was in ill health, to help bring Big Papi on board. Luckily Big Papi agreed to attend Pastor’s class, which is how one becomes a member of Gloria Dei. I am so thankful that I was able to share that time with Pastor Stowe.
During Pastor’s class I learned that we were all ‘cracked pots’ as Pastor Stowe would call us. Even he was included in the cracked pot category. Most people, particularly men of power have a way of not showing vulnerability. Pastor Stowe welcomed his imperfections and embraced other’s. He had a way of explaining God’s love that made you feel a part of Pastor Stowe’s journey. If Pastor Stowe was talking to you it was always with you never down to you. Though wise he never boasted his knowledge. He accepted people as they were at that moment always seeing the possibilities.
My daughter was one of the last children he baptized, and that is incredibly special. Pastor Stowe loved performing baptisms and felt that bringing children to the water of Christ was a parent’s important responsibility. I think that is why he loved the school so much. Gloria Dei has a wonderful elementary school and day care program. Pastor Stowe did not have children of his own as he told me because he knew he could not be the father he wanted to be and still be the pastor he was expected to be.
As I sat through church service today and saw the many people there with tears in their eyes and sorrow in their hearts I felt that I had lost a grandfather. It was then I realized that every person sitting in that church, every child that sat in the classrooms were his children.
Dude-pa would not be the man he is without Pastor Stowe; I never got to thank Pastor Stowe for that.
My husband would not have a relationship with Jesus without the influence of Pastor Stowe. I need to thank Pastor for that as well.
My children have an amazing church home to grow in because of the hard work Pastor Stowe did.
If you are a person that prays, please pray for the congregation of Gloria Dei. Our grandfather has died and I feel lost. I know that Pastor Stowe had been sick for a long time, and now he is at peace. Many people loved this man, and the best part about Pastor Stowe is that he truly loved everyone.
This world is not ever going to see a man of his quality. In fact we were just fortunate to have him for how ever brief of a time we did get him.
Goodbye for now Pastor Stowe. I am craving one of your big bear hugs. Thank you for loving me and believing in my faith, especially when I did not believe in myself.
This weekend should have been filled with anticipation for getting on the road with the Caveman, Alien, and Big Papi, but it wasn’t. This Sunday should have gone quickly because I had too much to do. Instead the seconds ticked as slowly as a child anticipating the arrival of Santa.
On Friday while sitting at my desk at work I received a call from Dude-pa, my step father. He called me to give me the news that my Pastor Stowe had passed away.
Pastor Stowe is the man who made me understand my faith and the importance of my role as spiritual guardian of my children. I met this man when I was 15, and while I appreciated his role I didn’t understand how important he was to forming the grown-up I am today.
When my parents decided to join Gloria Dei church I wanted no part of the church or relationship with God they were creating. I wasn’t ready. I didn’t think I believed in Jesus, God, the Holy Spirit. Actually if I’m honest I didn’t believe that God believed in me.
Pastor Stowe always believed in me. When I married Big Papi I actually decided to have the other pastor at our church marry us. I do not regret this as Pastor Freeborne is a man I admire and respect. Pastor Stowe still came to my wedding along with his beautiful wife Joy. I have amazing pictures of them dancing. When I had the Caveman I suddenly longed for the comfort of Pastor Stowe to lead my child to the water.
Getting ready for the baptism of my Caveman, I remember sitting in the Nave with Pastor Stowe and asking him about joining the church. He offered to come to our house, even while he had so much to do and was in ill health, to help bring Big Papi on board. Luckily Big Papi agreed to attend Pastor’s class, which is how one becomes a member of Gloria Dei. I am so thankful that I was able to share that time with Pastor Stowe.
During Pastor’s class I learned that we were all ‘cracked pots’ as Pastor Stowe would call us. Even he was included in the cracked pot category. Most people, particularly men of power have a way of not showing vulnerability. Pastor Stowe welcomed his imperfections and embraced other’s. He had a way of explaining God’s love that made you feel a part of Pastor Stowe’s journey. If Pastor Stowe was talking to you it was always with you never down to you. Though wise he never boasted his knowledge. He accepted people as they were at that moment always seeing the possibilities.
My daughter was one of the last children he baptized, and that is incredibly special. Pastor Stowe loved performing baptisms and felt that bringing children to the water of Christ was a parent’s important responsibility. I think that is why he loved the school so much. Gloria Dei has a wonderful elementary school and day care program. Pastor Stowe did not have children of his own as he told me because he knew he could not be the father he wanted to be and still be the pastor he was expected to be.
As I sat through church service today and saw the many people there with tears in their eyes and sorrow in their hearts I felt that I had lost a grandfather. It was then I realized that every person sitting in that church, every child that sat in the classrooms were his children.
Dude-pa would not be the man he is without Pastor Stowe; I never got to thank Pastor Stowe for that.
My husband would not have a relationship with Jesus without the influence of Pastor Stowe. I need to thank Pastor for that as well.
My children have an amazing church home to grow in because of the hard work Pastor Stowe did.
If you are a person that prays, please pray for the congregation of Gloria Dei. Our grandfather has died and I feel lost. I know that Pastor Stowe had been sick for a long time, and now he is at peace. Many people loved this man, and the best part about Pastor Stowe is that he truly loved everyone.
This world is not ever going to see a man of his quality. In fact we were just fortunate to have him for how ever brief of a time we did get him.
Goodbye for now Pastor Stowe. I am craving one of your big bear hugs. Thank you for loving me and believing in my faith, especially when I did not believe in myself.
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