So may I brag for a minute?
Big Papi was on deck this evening as it was Tuesday and that means Mommy is sitting in a biology lecture while he has the Caveman, Alien and dinner duties. Actually if I’m honest Big Papi has had to do a lot of watching the Caveman and Alien this semester. For me to achieve my dream of a college degree my family has had to sacrifice. In fact the family has had to make more sacrifices than I have.
I may be the one doing the studying, writing papers, and taking exams. The Caveman, Alien, and Big Papi are doing a lot of evenings without Mommy. Even when I am home I am often working on the laptop researching for government or writing biology definitions. Every Saturday I drive to algebra class leaving breakfast and Saturday morning activities to Big Papi. Sure I am giving up any amount of free time but in the end I get to have a college degree.
Big Papi hasn’t complained- in fact he has been incredibly supportive. The Alien and Caveman however, are another story as when Mommy is home they expect my full attention. I have learned that I have to balance my time with them along with my studies. Balancing is hard because sometimes I have to tell my family I have homework, because simply the professors could care less what is going on in my personal life. Sometimes I have to stay up late so that I can spend time with the kids. It is so bad that the Caveman will sometimes set up his toy laptop right next to mine and declare that he is working on homework. No two-year old should know about homework.
There is only six more weeks of being a full time student- I will never do that again as a proper grown up. I have been so focused on getting to the next step- and getting out of community college land that I didn’t think about the toll my family and self would face. For now on I will be a part-time student.
When I came home from lecture tonight Big Papi had dinner done and the Caveman was sitting at the table ready to go. The Alien was in her bouncy jumpy thingy- I never know what that thing is called- happily bouncing away. For the first time in a long time I was able to enjoy dinner with my entire family- and I didn’t worry about the lab quiz I have on Thursday or the algebra homework that is due on Saturday.
Big Papi is the reason for the bragging because simply he doesn’t get enough credit for everything he does for our family. Sure it is fun and therapeutic to write about his mistakes but I think as a wife it is important to let him shine once in a while.
So to Big Papi tonight you are my hero- tomorrow well hey I can only worry about today.
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Friday, March 27, 2009
No that's mine Alien!
So the Caveman spent a good portion of the evening in timeout.
The reason the Caveman was in timeout is that the Alien is impressively crawling and wanting to go after the Caveman’s toys. The Caveman being a typical kid doesn’t want to share.
It goes down like this: the Alien will find a toy that interests her. She starts to play with it, okay puts it in her mouth. The Caveman will take the toy away and then give the Alien another toy and say “here.”
The Caveman could be in another room but he knows if the Alien is messing with his stuff. In this case he will actually take the toy from her hand and not give her another toy. Which makes the Alien cry and then I have to put the Caveman in timeout because he should share with the Alien. Or more likely he should want to share with the Alien.
Sharing I am noticing is a hard concept for the average two year old to understand. To be honest as a twenty eight year old woman I don’t like sharing my stuff. If you let someone borrow your favorite sweater it never returns in the same way. Plus some items are truly special so why should I have to share it with others?
Thinking about this I started to wonder why am I making the Caveman share his toys with his younger sister? Seriously, is it so bad to actually have a kid cherish something to the point where he doesn’t want to share it with anyone? When did the idea of sharing become letting others use your stuff? Yet, I realize that if I don’t teach the kids how to share then how will I raise citizens of the world?
The actual definition of sharing is the act of participation or of being involved. So how is letting other people use my stuff being involved? I think the concept of sharing that I want to teach the Caveman and Alien is that sharing is not only an act but a mindset. It isn’t enough to have things to share- things are simply things. To truly share is to do what the definition says- get involved.
My goal as a mother is that my children understand that their actions matter. That their interactions with other people matter and can make a difference and the people that come across my children leave better.
I guess to teach the two year old Caveman the concept that it is not acceptable to take toys from his sister simply because that particular toy is his is a good thing. The adult Caveman will hopefully thank me someday.
The reason the Caveman was in timeout is that the Alien is impressively crawling and wanting to go after the Caveman’s toys. The Caveman being a typical kid doesn’t want to share.
It goes down like this: the Alien will find a toy that interests her. She starts to play with it, okay puts it in her mouth. The Caveman will take the toy away and then give the Alien another toy and say “here.”
The Caveman could be in another room but he knows if the Alien is messing with his stuff. In this case he will actually take the toy from her hand and not give her another toy. Which makes the Alien cry and then I have to put the Caveman in timeout because he should share with the Alien. Or more likely he should want to share with the Alien.
Sharing I am noticing is a hard concept for the average two year old to understand. To be honest as a twenty eight year old woman I don’t like sharing my stuff. If you let someone borrow your favorite sweater it never returns in the same way. Plus some items are truly special so why should I have to share it with others?
Thinking about this I started to wonder why am I making the Caveman share his toys with his younger sister? Seriously, is it so bad to actually have a kid cherish something to the point where he doesn’t want to share it with anyone? When did the idea of sharing become letting others use your stuff? Yet, I realize that if I don’t teach the kids how to share then how will I raise citizens of the world?
The actual definition of sharing is the act of participation or of being involved. So how is letting other people use my stuff being involved? I think the concept of sharing that I want to teach the Caveman and Alien is that sharing is not only an act but a mindset. It isn’t enough to have things to share- things are simply things. To truly share is to do what the definition says- get involved.
My goal as a mother is that my children understand that their actions matter. That their interactions with other people matter and can make a difference and the people that come across my children leave better.
I guess to teach the two year old Caveman the concept that it is not acceptable to take toys from his sister simply because that particular toy is his is a good thing. The adult Caveman will hopefully thank me someday.
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
It takes a village to fit into my skinny jeans
So I finally made a huge choice to take control of my health.
I have always been heavy but after having the Caveman and Alien I have ballooned into something between the blob and Slimmer from Ghostbusters. I can’t find pants that work. I don’t remember the last time I was able to walk into a store and find something really cute to wear has been awhile. Well with the exception of the amazing coat I purchased from Lane Bryant in January
At almost 30 years old I am tipping the scales at my largest size ever and it is scary. The problem is I have been working really hard at exercising, watching my fat and carbs- without any real results. So frustrating!
The other problem is since the Alien was born is that I am super tired. My monthly friend” has been visiting every two weeks. I am irritable and even with eight hours of sleep I never feel rested.
The problem with feeling this way is that is feels like defeat. Giving birth is performing the most amazing miracle God has ever created. My body now I feel is betraying me after doing so well with my children. I feel like a failure because I haven’t bounced back to my pre-baby weight.
I bet a lot of other mommies feel the same way. Between everything a mom has to go through for her children it is a wonder than most women are still upright.
So I am asking for help. I am checking to make sure that my body chemistry is where it is suppose to be. Even doing this I still feel like a failure because I can’t exercise enough or starve myself thin. I don’t think I am made that way.
To feel like an awesome mommy you can’t ask for help. You are supposed to “raise” your own kid and not drop them with a grandparent or gasp a day care! There should be no village. Especially with something so mundane as what really is a silly issue such as my weight.
Well this mommy is asking the village- help!
On April’s Fools day I am hoping to get some answers to why my body isn’t working- and I am hoping that Dr. Clarke doesn’t think that I am a joke.
I have always been heavy but after having the Caveman and Alien I have ballooned into something between the blob and Slimmer from Ghostbusters. I can’t find pants that work. I don’t remember the last time I was able to walk into a store and find something really cute to wear has been awhile. Well with the exception of the amazing coat I purchased from Lane Bryant in January
At almost 30 years old I am tipping the scales at my largest size ever and it is scary. The problem is I have been working really hard at exercising, watching my fat and carbs- without any real results. So frustrating!
The other problem is since the Alien was born is that I am super tired. My monthly friend” has been visiting every two weeks. I am irritable and even with eight hours of sleep I never feel rested.
The problem with feeling this way is that is feels like defeat. Giving birth is performing the most amazing miracle God has ever created. My body now I feel is betraying me after doing so well with my children. I feel like a failure because I haven’t bounced back to my pre-baby weight.
I bet a lot of other mommies feel the same way. Between everything a mom has to go through for her children it is a wonder than most women are still upright.
So I am asking for help. I am checking to make sure that my body chemistry is where it is suppose to be. Even doing this I still feel like a failure because I can’t exercise enough or starve myself thin. I don’t think I am made that way.
To feel like an awesome mommy you can’t ask for help. You are supposed to “raise” your own kid and not drop them with a grandparent or gasp a day care! There should be no village. Especially with something so mundane as what really is a silly issue such as my weight.
Well this mommy is asking the village- help!
On April’s Fools day I am hoping to get some answers to why my body isn’t working- and I am hoping that Dr. Clarke doesn’t think that I am a joke.
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
You can lay an egg but can you make it hatch?
So the potty has become the place to be in the Alien and Caveman household. Supposedly the Caveman has been going potty in the toilet at school no problem. Yet when he comes home the idea of going potty in the potty seems silly. What is a mommy to do?
Bribery my friends, bribery.
Currently residing in the main potty in our house is a jar of yummy Reese’s peanut butter Easter eggs. The rule: the Caveman goes pee pee or poo poo in the big boy potty he get a piece of candy. I have heard from other mommies that this method works, particularly for boys.
Well, today I tried this approach and the following conversation took place:
Mommy: “Caveman if you go pee pee or poo poo in the potty you get candy!”
Caveman: “I want candy!”
Mommy: “Okay then go poo poo or pee pee please.”
Caveman: [now sitting on the potty] “All done! Candy!”
Mommy: [looks in the potty] “You did not. No candy until you go poo poo or pee pee.”
Caveman: “Do you need to go potty mommy?”
Mommy: “No, I need for Caveman to go potty.”
Caveman: “Mommy’s poo poo?”
Mommy: “No honey, you need to poo poo. Mommy is all done.”
Caveman: [Tries to get up] “All done! Candy, please”
Mommy [looks in the potty] “You did not go potty, no candy.”
Caveman “I WANT CANDY!!”
Mommy: “NO! Candy only for poo poo or pee pee”
Caveman: “Mean mommy!”
Mommy: “Thank you. Are you going potty or not?”
Caveman: “No! All done” [gets off of potty and pulls up the training pants and his jeans]
Ten minutes later I am cleaning up after he goes potty in his training pants. At least he didn’t ask to have candy for that.
I am over this potty training thing. The worst part is that this is the first thing in a long run of things that teachers will be able to get my child to do that I am not able to get him to do.
Someone told me that the Alien will be easier. I think at this point in the Caveman going potty in the potty at home is more challenging than getting President Obama an invitation to be on the 700 Club.
I realize that some day and more likely soon the Caveman will abandoned his training pants for big boy underwear. I am just wondering how many chocolate peanut butter eggs it will take?
Bribery my friends, bribery.
Currently residing in the main potty in our house is a jar of yummy Reese’s peanut butter Easter eggs. The rule: the Caveman goes pee pee or poo poo in the big boy potty he get a piece of candy. I have heard from other mommies that this method works, particularly for boys.
Well, today I tried this approach and the following conversation took place:
Mommy: “Caveman if you go pee pee or poo poo in the potty you get candy!”
Caveman: “I want candy!”
Mommy: “Okay then go poo poo or pee pee please.”
Caveman: [now sitting on the potty] “All done! Candy!”
Mommy: [looks in the potty] “You did not. No candy until you go poo poo or pee pee.”
Caveman: “Do you need to go potty mommy?”
Mommy: “No, I need for Caveman to go potty.”
Caveman: “Mommy’s poo poo?”
Mommy: “No honey, you need to poo poo. Mommy is all done.”
Caveman: [Tries to get up] “All done! Candy, please”
Mommy [looks in the potty] “You did not go potty, no candy.”
Caveman “I WANT CANDY!!”
Mommy: “NO! Candy only for poo poo or pee pee”
Caveman: “Mean mommy!”
Mommy: “Thank you. Are you going potty or not?”
Caveman: “No! All done” [gets off of potty and pulls up the training pants and his jeans]
Ten minutes later I am cleaning up after he goes potty in his training pants. At least he didn’t ask to have candy for that.
I am over this potty training thing. The worst part is that this is the first thing in a long run of things that teachers will be able to get my child to do that I am not able to get him to do.
Someone told me that the Alien will be easier. I think at this point in the Caveman going potty in the potty at home is more challenging than getting President Obama an invitation to be on the 700 Club.
I realize that some day and more likely soon the Caveman will abandoned his training pants for big boy underwear. I am just wondering how many chocolate peanut butter eggs it will take?
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
When Mommy is sick well Big Papi is alright
So sickness had clouded the Caveman and Alien household this week and mommy was the biggest victim. I could go into details but let’s just say that this time it involved not being able to eat anything other than crackers and many trips to the bathroom.
I’m not sure which brought in the germs- I think the Alien but the Caveman has many friends at school. Everyone is so excited when the Caveman shows up. Especially the teachers who let him have his “special seat” in the lunch room for breakfast and lunch. (Seriously they have actually offered to move the kid who dared to sit in his seat. I have explained that the Caveman will get over it, they ignore me and give him an extra hug.) Could an extra hug have given the germs to pass on to the mommy?
I try my best not to get what the kids have- but this time no doing mommy got it in a big way. The problem is when mommy is down the whole household stops. Actually that isn’t true Big Papi is awesome at making sure kids get fed and bathed, and even put to bed. He even brought me toast and water.
But, I feel so guilty being in bed when I should just suck it up and get going. Come on women in third world countries do not have the luxury of being sick- just doesn’t happen. Even other mommies I know are able to get going. I feel slightly defeated that a little stomach flu had me in bed. But, I am so proud of Big Papi for keeping everything together I could just burst!
However a day later I am feeling so much better. I still feel a little out of it, and I haven’t tried eating anything but toast in the last 24 hours, but compared to yesterday I could run a marathon. Okay maybe not a marathon but am I feeling much better.
I’m not sure which brought in the germs- I think the Alien but the Caveman has many friends at school. Everyone is so excited when the Caveman shows up. Especially the teachers who let him have his “special seat” in the lunch room for breakfast and lunch. (Seriously they have actually offered to move the kid who dared to sit in his seat. I have explained that the Caveman will get over it, they ignore me and give him an extra hug.) Could an extra hug have given the germs to pass on to the mommy?
I try my best not to get what the kids have- but this time no doing mommy got it in a big way. The problem is when mommy is down the whole household stops. Actually that isn’t true Big Papi is awesome at making sure kids get fed and bathed, and even put to bed. He even brought me toast and water.
But, I feel so guilty being in bed when I should just suck it up and get going. Come on women in third world countries do not have the luxury of being sick- just doesn’t happen. Even other mommies I know are able to get going. I feel slightly defeated that a little stomach flu had me in bed. But, I am so proud of Big Papi for keeping everything together I could just burst!
However a day later I am feeling so much better. I still feel a little out of it, and I haven’t tried eating anything but toast in the last 24 hours, but compared to yesterday I could run a marathon. Okay maybe not a marathon but am I feeling much better.
Thursday, March 12, 2009
Sunny Days, thinking the clouds away
So you’ve just finished your associates degree what are you going to do next?
“I’m going to Sesame Place!”
What? I can hear you thinking it. Why on earth would a person celebrate earning their associate’s degree in social sciences by driving five hours to a theme park for preschoolers?
Well hello I am the proud mommy of a caveman and alien! This happened by chance because Busch Gardens Williamsburg is adding a whole Sesame Street section to its park. For those who do not know many of my favorite memories involve going to Busch Gardens, riding roller coasters in the theme of old world Europe (of course without serfs, wars, and the plague). While on the website for Busch Gardens to check out this new area as I am realizing the Caveman is getting old enough to enjoy some of these things, I notice a link to the actual Sesame Place. Located in Pennsylvania, it is an entire theme park based on the famous sunny days, thinking the clouds away show.
This was just curious looking as being a full time student on Pell grant and student loans with two kids and a Big Papi could never afford this type of trip. Well first we would need hotel rooms and the tickets at $50.00 plus a day. And this being a theme park for preschoolers – the Caveman’s entrance would also require a ticket, the Alien being under 24 months would get in for free. Still my curiosity kept me looking further and then I found it- the buy 2 get 1 night free- and upgraded tickets to Sesame Place season passes deal. Okay, yeah the first packages started at 800.00! (If I’m spending that much money I might as well go for the big bang and do Disney World). I scrolled down and saw a package starting at $350.00- wait what? Seriously a family of four vacation for under $400.00 dollars? Impossible! It must be a mistake!
It isn’t! So now Big Papi and I are checking the site everyday to see if the deal is there- but here is the good thing- the prices are really there. Now there are two hotels that are around that price.
So Big Papi and I had a conference- if we cut our eating out and grocery shopping down for a month and along with some savings we can afford this trip. And we can even have breakfast with Elmo! The Caveman is all about some Elmo.
This is actually really doable because I have a freezer full of chicken breast that I can use for meals. So for a few weeks the only things I am buying at the grocery store are perishables, milk, eggs, and formula if the Alien runs out. We are breaking out the crock pot and clearing out the fridge, freezer, and pantry. Even with Easter coming up I am going to use what we have for side dishes and desserts (other than the ham because what is Easter without ham?).
For my family this is a big deal because when I quit my very well paying job at Lotion Land our income was cut in half. Then when I became a real estate agent we were paying more that we were bringing in. And the medical bills from having two kids aren’t cheap. Plus the economy is a scary thing right now. Yet, we only live once and the Caveman and Alien are getting older by the day. If we wait too long the opportunity to go to a place where you can believe brownstones are filled with furry brightly colored monsters will be gone.
More updates to follow but come this August I’ll be able to “tell you how to get, how to get to Sesame Street.”
“I’m going to Sesame Place!”
What? I can hear you thinking it. Why on earth would a person celebrate earning their associate’s degree in social sciences by driving five hours to a theme park for preschoolers?
Well hello I am the proud mommy of a caveman and alien! This happened by chance because Busch Gardens Williamsburg is adding a whole Sesame Street section to its park. For those who do not know many of my favorite memories involve going to Busch Gardens, riding roller coasters in the theme of old world Europe (of course without serfs, wars, and the plague). While on the website for Busch Gardens to check out this new area as I am realizing the Caveman is getting old enough to enjoy some of these things, I notice a link to the actual Sesame Place. Located in Pennsylvania, it is an entire theme park based on the famous sunny days, thinking the clouds away show.
This was just curious looking as being a full time student on Pell grant and student loans with two kids and a Big Papi could never afford this type of trip. Well first we would need hotel rooms and the tickets at $50.00 plus a day. And this being a theme park for preschoolers – the Caveman’s entrance would also require a ticket, the Alien being under 24 months would get in for free. Still my curiosity kept me looking further and then I found it- the buy 2 get 1 night free- and upgraded tickets to Sesame Place season passes deal. Okay, yeah the first packages started at 800.00! (If I’m spending that much money I might as well go for the big bang and do Disney World). I scrolled down and saw a package starting at $350.00- wait what? Seriously a family of four vacation for under $400.00 dollars? Impossible! It must be a mistake!
It isn’t! So now Big Papi and I are checking the site everyday to see if the deal is there- but here is the good thing- the prices are really there. Now there are two hotels that are around that price.
So Big Papi and I had a conference- if we cut our eating out and grocery shopping down for a month and along with some savings we can afford this trip. And we can even have breakfast with Elmo! The Caveman is all about some Elmo.
This is actually really doable because I have a freezer full of chicken breast that I can use for meals. So for a few weeks the only things I am buying at the grocery store are perishables, milk, eggs, and formula if the Alien runs out. We are breaking out the crock pot and clearing out the fridge, freezer, and pantry. Even with Easter coming up I am going to use what we have for side dishes and desserts (other than the ham because what is Easter without ham?).
For my family this is a big deal because when I quit my very well paying job at Lotion Land our income was cut in half. Then when I became a real estate agent we were paying more that we were bringing in. And the medical bills from having two kids aren’t cheap. Plus the economy is a scary thing right now. Yet, we only live once and the Caveman and Alien are getting older by the day. If we wait too long the opportunity to go to a place where you can believe brownstones are filled with furry brightly colored monsters will be gone.
More updates to follow but come this August I’ll be able to “tell you how to get, how to get to Sesame Street.”
Thursday, March 5, 2009
Oh the golden joys of family life
So this morning Big Papi, with the Caveman’s help, decide to give me an experience: the Caveman urinated all of my school stuff. Now we are currently potty training the Caveman but this event was not because the Caveman wanted to no the real reason is the lack of consideration from the other parent in my life.
I realize this was an accident but I am mad beyond belief- not at the Caveman but at Big Papi who basically lost his mind this morning. The typical morning routine for the Caveman and Alien house is the following.
I realize this was an accident but I am mad beyond belief- not at the Caveman but at Big Papi who basically lost his mind this morning. The typical morning routine for the Caveman and Alien house is the following.
- The Caveman and Big Papi share a shower together- this is great because baths use a lot of water and the Caveman seems to enjoy the showers. And before some crazy reader goes, “parents shouldn’t be naked in front of their kids,” starts on me until the Caveman and Alien realize what naked really means.
- The Caveman gets wrapped in a towel and he and Big Papi go into his room to at least get a pull-up on so the Caveman can run around like cavemen do.
- At this point I am awake and work on getting the Alien ready for the babysitter and then work with Big Papi to get the Caveman ready for school.
- Everyone is dressed and ready to go- Big Papi packs up the kids and they all leave for work and school. The mommy then usually goes to the gym before getting ready in the wonderful and rare silence of the household.
This morning, however, Big Papi decided instead of putting the pull-up on the Caveman right away Big Papi chose to brush his teeth and sets the now naked Caveman loose and shows up at my bedside where the biology textbook and notes I was working on into the wee hours of the morning still remained. The other problem with this is that I notice the Caveman is naked and tell Big Papi, “um yeah please put a pull-up on him. Why are you brushing your teeth right now?”
Big Papi responds, “I’ll get to it in a minute.” I again ask and get irritated “Honey, seriously get a pull-up on him what are you doing that is so important that can’t wait five minutes?” Big Papi rolls his eyes (and that is always pleasant) and just at that moment the Caveman goes potty all over my school materials.
“Big Papi! Quick he’s peeing all over my stuff!” I exclaim jumping out of the bed. Big Papi quickly jumps and tried to grab the delighted Caveman. Was there an apology right away? NO! Instead Big Papi says nothing about the fact my very expensive school materials are now covered in two-year old toddler pee-pee.
Now I get I could have gotten my butt out of bed immediately and grabbed the Caveman before he went potty. I’ll be honest I was trying to get just a few more hours of sleep since the Caveman spent yet another night with his feet pressing into mommy’s kidneys. Also I was up studying for a biology lab quiz I have this evening. I didn’t go to sleep until one and being almost 30 that is really late.
I am not mad at the Caveman; he didn’t know what he did. Yet Big Papi, who finally said that he was sorry but also added that if the Caveman had done this to his stuff that he wouldn’t have been upset.
Bull!
I can give you an endless list of Big Papi being upset because the Caveman has messed with the computer, or climbed into the entertainment center. The Caveman and Big Papi have gone to battle over the DVDs being pulled out. The funniest is when the Caveman, with mommy’s permission, pulls out every pot and pan (with matching lids). Big Papi hates this!
But, according to Big Papi’s words this morning he would be okay because this was an accident. This wasn’t an accident- unless I find a thirty year old male brain around. Obviously Big Papi has lost his. So now instead of going to the gym I will be washing toddler pee off of my stuff.
Oh the joys of family life.
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
Tying Up Loose Ends
So being a college student in my late 20s is interesting. The first thing is the constant comparisons to my former college experience that wasn’t fulfilling other than my internship in Disney World and my work in school council and on the newspaper. I think the biggest difference is that the motivator for me going to school is to tie up loose ends.
I have a habit of starting things and not finishing them. College is one of those things. I wanted to go away to school for many reasons that don’t seem that important at this stage in my life. When I attended my first college I felt lost. I didn’t find my way and I was very unhappy. I messed up a few semesters and failed quite a few classes. The school year before the internship I was doing well, working for the school paper. I had actually made a group of friends on campus and was finding my spot. Then I lost my job with Lotion Land the first time (another story for another time) and the opportunity to go away seemed really appealing. I was 21 in a bad relationship (again another story) and wanted to be my own person somewhere else. I actually was accepted byDisney and in the field I wanted to work in, which I couldn’t believe because the competition is strong.
Orlando changed who I was. I dumped the bad boyfriend. Single for the first time in five years I was at first lonely and once again felt lost. Quickly it suddenly became routine to see Mickey everyday or watch a family come in from an afternoon storm and stock up on oversize lollipops and mouse ears. Even in the country’s darkest time (I was one of the cast members who helped close the Magic Kingdom on September 11th) I still felt comfort when an international guest said “we’re with you.” I learned who I was without my parents, a boyfriend, or even my group of friends. For the first time in my life I was truly myself, loud, opinionated without shame. I didn’t have the baggage of having a past. The experience was liberating.
Then I came back and everything on campus had changed. The friends I had made the year before had either graduated or were different. Even my position on campus had changed within the newspaper. All the progress I made the year before was gone and I had to start at square one. I didn’t like my classes and I was just over the whole thing. I quit.
Looking back I realized that I didn’t ask for help from the college when I needed it. I jumped into 300 level English courses without waiting to take the basic freshman-sophomore courses. Not using the resources on campus was a disadvantage of being a commuter student.
This time I am doing everything right and it shows in my happiness and success so far. The first thing I did when deciding to go back to school was consult with people who actually knew about college. Then I actually talked to the counseling department about what direction should I go and what classes should I take. These small steps have made all the difference.
The other thing I am noticing is the practical application of the knowledge I am soaking in. Just the other day I was in a debate over government involvement over the smoking ban pasted by the Virginia Assembly I was able to quote Abigail Adams. Or today when a client was on the phone and said he last name was “Krebs” and I said “oh like the Krebs’ cycle” and the guy said “wow, hardly anyone knows about that.” (The Krebs cycle is a part of photosynthesis you should Wikipedia it).
Yet, the main reason that I am excited about the prospect of finishing my degree is that it gives me a paper saying that I am able to complete something. It shows to others that I am able to set a goal, follow the steps and finish.
My challenge is for everyone to find one loose end, no matter how small and tie it up. I think that loose ends are really the regrets of our lives. The things we wish we could change. It could be something as simple as finally reading War and Peace or learning how to knit. Or maybe it is a bigger goal- like a college education. My hope is that by finishing my college experience the way I want I will stay out of the way of the Caveman and Alien when it is their time at bat.
I have a habit of starting things and not finishing them. College is one of those things. I wanted to go away to school for many reasons that don’t seem that important at this stage in my life. When I attended my first college I felt lost. I didn’t find my way and I was very unhappy. I messed up a few semesters and failed quite a few classes. The school year before the internship I was doing well, working for the school paper. I had actually made a group of friends on campus and was finding my spot. Then I lost my job with Lotion Land the first time (another story for another time) and the opportunity to go away seemed really appealing. I was 21 in a bad relationship (again another story) and wanted to be my own person somewhere else. I actually was accepted byDisney and in the field I wanted to work in, which I couldn’t believe because the competition is strong.
Orlando changed who I was. I dumped the bad boyfriend. Single for the first time in five years I was at first lonely and once again felt lost. Quickly it suddenly became routine to see Mickey everyday or watch a family come in from an afternoon storm and stock up on oversize lollipops and mouse ears. Even in the country’s darkest time (I was one of the cast members who helped close the Magic Kingdom on September 11th) I still felt comfort when an international guest said “we’re with you.” I learned who I was without my parents, a boyfriend, or even my group of friends. For the first time in my life I was truly myself, loud, opinionated without shame. I didn’t have the baggage of having a past. The experience was liberating.
Then I came back and everything on campus had changed. The friends I had made the year before had either graduated or were different. Even my position on campus had changed within the newspaper. All the progress I made the year before was gone and I had to start at square one. I didn’t like my classes and I was just over the whole thing. I quit.
Looking back I realized that I didn’t ask for help from the college when I needed it. I jumped into 300 level English courses without waiting to take the basic freshman-sophomore courses. Not using the resources on campus was a disadvantage of being a commuter student.
This time I am doing everything right and it shows in my happiness and success so far. The first thing I did when deciding to go back to school was consult with people who actually knew about college. Then I actually talked to the counseling department about what direction should I go and what classes should I take. These small steps have made all the difference.
The other thing I am noticing is the practical application of the knowledge I am soaking in. Just the other day I was in a debate over government involvement over the smoking ban pasted by the Virginia Assembly I was able to quote Abigail Adams. Or today when a client was on the phone and said he last name was “Krebs” and I said “oh like the Krebs’ cycle” and the guy said “wow, hardly anyone knows about that.” (The Krebs cycle is a part of photosynthesis you should Wikipedia it).
Yet, the main reason that I am excited about the prospect of finishing my degree is that it gives me a paper saying that I am able to complete something. It shows to others that I am able to set a goal, follow the steps and finish.
My challenge is for everyone to find one loose end, no matter how small and tie it up. I think that loose ends are really the regrets of our lives. The things we wish we could change. It could be something as simple as finally reading War and Peace or learning how to knit. Or maybe it is a bigger goal- like a college education. My hope is that by finishing my college experience the way I want I will stay out of the way of the Caveman and Alien when it is their time at bat.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)