So the Alien seems to have sprouted legs all the sudden.
The last few months she has become an expert crawler, able to quickly follow the Caveman and get into all sorts of trouble. Then came the standing up- my, she is so tall.
Today I saw my baby take some steps and I realized that this is my last time seeing these things from my children as babies.
Now, I hope you realize I am not the type of mommy who wallows in every single milestone her children experience. I have the baby books- that I haven’t filled out. And the poor Alien I haven’t taken nearly enough pictures of. Seriously the worse mommy is me sometimes. I just don’t seem the need to have the camera with me when the kid is doing something cute or interesting.
See what happens is the Alien will do something so precious I could just eat her up- seriously how cute is my baby! But, the Caveman will do something that requires me to get band-aids and the naughty stool. Or the Caveman is being so sweet playing with his sister but then the second I get the camera the Alien turns into something from Nightmare on Elms Street complete with color changing skin and screams of terror.
It would help if Big Papi would actually try to take a picture once in awhile. In all relationships there is the picture taker and the other guy. Big Papi is the other guy and as we get ready for our big family trip to Sesame Place- seven days- I am wondering if I am going to be in any of the pictures?
Monday, July 27, 2009
Sunday, July 26, 2009
Boyhood right of passage
So the Caveman has decided to waste no time proving that he is in fact all boy.
A few days ago I pick up the Caveman at preschool and go by his cubby and find a note. The note is from one of his teachers explaining that during nap time the Caveman was playing “moneys jumping on the bed.” Like the song goes one fell off and bumped his head. Only the Caveman fell off and hit his elbow.
Now the note told me that he cried and screamed but calmed down. Then during playtime anytime he would move his arm he would scream. So the teachers brought the Caveman inside and had the director of the preschool look at his arm. He was able to move it and it wasn’t swollen but she felt that I should know about it.
Fast forward to a mom running late to pick up her child because she has to get dinner into him and her as both are going to vacation bible school that evening. Only when I examined his arm his little hand was starting to swell and he wouldn’t let me touch his arm.
Loading the Caveman into the car I call Big Papi and let him know “hey AJ’s arm could be broken” YIKES! Seriously did I go there to that place where I am envisioning casts and more doctors appointments. Plus we are less than two weeks from our Sesame Place vacation. So I call Crazy Grandma who is a massage therapist to get her to look at the arm first. I do this for two reasons, one to validate that I am not an over protected mommy, and two to make sure that it isn’t that serious to go to the emergency room.
Well Crazy Grandma confirmed that I was not a over protected mom and that a trip to the emergency room was in order.
Now I have a choice to take him to our local emergency room or drive through rush hour traffic to take the Caveman to the children’s hospital. Thank goodness the Alien’s babysitter had no problem keeping the Alien longer so that we didn’t have to worry about her and the Caveman.
Big Papi, the Caveman, and I arrive at the Children’s Hospital of the Kings Daughter’s emergency room after fighting through a tunnel and silly slow drivers. I mean, come on don’t people know that I have a hurt Caveman in the back seat. At this point I am stressed out, my baby is in pain and Big Papi can’t seem to figure out where to park. I tell him the garage and he completely goes to another spot that has no parking. We go back to the parking lot. Then Big Papi wants to walk on the outside- I tell him it would be easier to go through the hospital. I am right again.
We finally make it to the actual emergency room where a cop, yes a cop with a gun in a children’s emergency room (WTF)! He gets the nurse who does some vitals and then sends us out to wait. Sitting next to us is a family with grandparents, aunts, and uncles all crying. At that moment I take a deep breath and thank God that though my child is hurt I at least know the worse thing could be a broken arm. All the sudden the family is being asked to go to the back and clergy is being called. I never saw that family again but my hope is that my instinct isn’t right and that child is fine.
After that I promised myself that no matter what I will not panic. Another nurse calls us and takes us back to an examination room. The Caveman is actually very charming and it shows why a children’s hospital is a need resource in a community. These medical professionals are able to get him to cooperate. The doctor is also wonderful and explains we will need x-rays to get some answers.
That is where the screaming starts. The x-ray techs could not have been more kind but need us to help hold the Caveman down and get his arm into the right positions. There is no pain worse for a mother or even a dad then having to be in a position to hurt your child. My child was screaming in agony and I was causing it.
The x-rays showed that the Caveman simply dislocated his elbow and the doctor just popped it right back in. Ten minutes later he has a red Popsicle in his hand and is laughing as the doctor blows bubbles in the air. A happy meal later and the Caveman is fine. Four days later I am still upset.
A few days ago I pick up the Caveman at preschool and go by his cubby and find a note. The note is from one of his teachers explaining that during nap time the Caveman was playing “moneys jumping on the bed.” Like the song goes one fell off and bumped his head. Only the Caveman fell off and hit his elbow.
Now the note told me that he cried and screamed but calmed down. Then during playtime anytime he would move his arm he would scream. So the teachers brought the Caveman inside and had the director of the preschool look at his arm. He was able to move it and it wasn’t swollen but she felt that I should know about it.
Fast forward to a mom running late to pick up her child because she has to get dinner into him and her as both are going to vacation bible school that evening. Only when I examined his arm his little hand was starting to swell and he wouldn’t let me touch his arm.
Loading the Caveman into the car I call Big Papi and let him know “hey AJ’s arm could be broken” YIKES! Seriously did I go there to that place where I am envisioning casts and more doctors appointments. Plus we are less than two weeks from our Sesame Place vacation. So I call Crazy Grandma who is a massage therapist to get her to look at the arm first. I do this for two reasons, one to validate that I am not an over protected mommy, and two to make sure that it isn’t that serious to go to the emergency room.
Well Crazy Grandma confirmed that I was not a over protected mom and that a trip to the emergency room was in order.
Now I have a choice to take him to our local emergency room or drive through rush hour traffic to take the Caveman to the children’s hospital. Thank goodness the Alien’s babysitter had no problem keeping the Alien longer so that we didn’t have to worry about her and the Caveman.
Big Papi, the Caveman, and I arrive at the Children’s Hospital of the Kings Daughter’s emergency room after fighting through a tunnel and silly slow drivers. I mean, come on don’t people know that I have a hurt Caveman in the back seat. At this point I am stressed out, my baby is in pain and Big Papi can’t seem to figure out where to park. I tell him the garage and he completely goes to another spot that has no parking. We go back to the parking lot. Then Big Papi wants to walk on the outside- I tell him it would be easier to go through the hospital. I am right again.
We finally make it to the actual emergency room where a cop, yes a cop with a gun in a children’s emergency room (WTF)! He gets the nurse who does some vitals and then sends us out to wait. Sitting next to us is a family with grandparents, aunts, and uncles all crying. At that moment I take a deep breath and thank God that though my child is hurt I at least know the worse thing could be a broken arm. All the sudden the family is being asked to go to the back and clergy is being called. I never saw that family again but my hope is that my instinct isn’t right and that child is fine.
After that I promised myself that no matter what I will not panic. Another nurse calls us and takes us back to an examination room. The Caveman is actually very charming and it shows why a children’s hospital is a need resource in a community. These medical professionals are able to get him to cooperate. The doctor is also wonderful and explains we will need x-rays to get some answers.
That is where the screaming starts. The x-ray techs could not have been more kind but need us to help hold the Caveman down and get his arm into the right positions. There is no pain worse for a mother or even a dad then having to be in a position to hurt your child. My child was screaming in agony and I was causing it.
The x-rays showed that the Caveman simply dislocated his elbow and the doctor just popped it right back in. Ten minutes later he has a red Popsicle in his hand and is laughing as the doctor blows bubbles in the air. A happy meal later and the Caveman is fine. Four days later I am still upset.
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
Guess who's back, back again!
So, I was hiding.
I know, I know, prompt blog writers are at it everyday. However I am assuming that most blog writers are not attending classes in the summer time- sixteen weeks worth of education squeezed into ten. This summer to say the least has been interesting.
The first big news is that the Alien turns one today! Seriously amazing; this time last year I was getting hooked up to meds that forced the birth of my child, not pleasant. Now the Alien is this bright, shiny sunshine in my life. Her sparkling blue eyes that light up when I walk into the room. The cries of “ma- ma” (yes actually calling me ma-ma.) She is starting to stand on her own and attack the Caveman, at a kid level life is good.
Another piece of amazing news is that I am a proper Wahoo! This tidbit I have been holding out sharing because part of me still does not believe that a path I stepped on almost twenty years ago is finally clear of the biggest road hazard. Virginia actually wants me. Yet, there is a line from the musical Wicked where Glenda finally gets what she wants and sings “That’s why I couldn’t be happier, no I couldn’t be happier. But, it is I admit the tiniest bit unlike I anticipated.” When you want something so bad, when it becomes everything you are working for and then you actually get what you want so then what?
The big thing going on this summer however is not all sunshine like a one-year old birthday or the accomplishment of finally being accepted at the one place I have been pressing my nose against the glass since I was 12. No the biggest news is that Big Papi and I are in a rough patch and are currently in couple’s therapy. This period in my life has been painful and lonely because I have not wanted to share this with too many people. Who wants to have a conversation about why you think your marriage of less than four years is not working. Plus sharing it with the world, especially people who are not involved with our daily lives is scary because the judgment that comes with a woman complaining that her man isn’t enough.
Yes, I said it. Imagine being on a long beach holding a rope and dragging everyone on a sled. My kids, house, career, dreams, hope, vision are all on this sled. Right now I am pulling it alone, without help from my husband. Now, let me be very clear Big Papi is a good, kind man. He is an amazing father. I love him; made children with him, that’s why as I type tears are welling up.
Big Papi is not living to his potential in many ways. Some days that sled is really heavy with all that I have put on it. Once in awhile I want him to help pull the rope or get some stuff off my sled and carry it awhile for me. So much is on a mom’s plate because if the kids are hurting it is the mother who is judge. Big Papi isn’t doing his part getting us to the next step.
I don’t feel comfortable explaining exactly what is going on, but he has the opportunity to finish something every important and is unwilling to find out how to finish. This goal is one that so many people want to accomplish, and he has at most six months work to do to complete. Frustratingly he gives no reason for finishing or promises to get the information and never does.
He is 32 and at this very moment is perfectly happy to stay as he is. As I change and grow, especially reaching my 30s I want my husband to grow with me. My fear is that I as I grow, I grow further away from him.
I know, I know, prompt blog writers are at it everyday. However I am assuming that most blog writers are not attending classes in the summer time- sixteen weeks worth of education squeezed into ten. This summer to say the least has been interesting.
The first big news is that the Alien turns one today! Seriously amazing; this time last year I was getting hooked up to meds that forced the birth of my child, not pleasant. Now the Alien is this bright, shiny sunshine in my life. Her sparkling blue eyes that light up when I walk into the room. The cries of “ma- ma” (yes actually calling me ma-ma.) She is starting to stand on her own and attack the Caveman, at a kid level life is good.Another piece of amazing news is that I am a proper Wahoo! This tidbit I have been holding out sharing because part of me still does not believe that a path I stepped on almost twenty years ago is finally clear of the biggest road hazard. Virginia actually wants me. Yet, there is a line from the musical Wicked where Glenda finally gets what she wants and sings “That’s why I couldn’t be happier, no I couldn’t be happier. But, it is I admit the tiniest bit unlike I anticipated.” When you want something so bad, when it becomes everything you are working for and then you actually get what you want so then what?
The big thing going on this summer however is not all sunshine like a one-year old birthday or the accomplishment of finally being accepted at the one place I have been pressing my nose against the glass since I was 12. No the biggest news is that Big Papi and I are in a rough patch and are currently in couple’s therapy. This period in my life has been painful and lonely because I have not wanted to share this with too many people. Who wants to have a conversation about why you think your marriage of less than four years is not working. Plus sharing it with the world, especially people who are not involved with our daily lives is scary because the judgment that comes with a woman complaining that her man isn’t enough.
Yes, I said it. Imagine being on a long beach holding a rope and dragging everyone on a sled. My kids, house, career, dreams, hope, vision are all on this sled. Right now I am pulling it alone, without help from my husband. Now, let me be very clear Big Papi is a good, kind man. He is an amazing father. I love him; made children with him, that’s why as I type tears are welling up.
Big Papi is not living to his potential in many ways. Some days that sled is really heavy with all that I have put on it. Once in awhile I want him to help pull the rope or get some stuff off my sled and carry it awhile for me. So much is on a mom’s plate because if the kids are hurting it is the mother who is judge. Big Papi isn’t doing his part getting us to the next step.
I don’t feel comfortable explaining exactly what is going on, but he has the opportunity to finish something every important and is unwilling to find out how to finish. This goal is one that so many people want to accomplish, and he has at most six months work to do to complete. Frustratingly he gives no reason for finishing or promises to get the information and never does.
He is 32 and at this very moment is perfectly happy to stay as he is. As I change and grow, especially reaching my 30s I want my husband to grow with me. My fear is that I as I grow, I grow further away from him.
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