People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have one. ~Leo J. Burke

The Caveman is really fighting me on the sleeping in his own bed thing. Today Big Papi and I decided that we would work on getting him into his own bed.

After a fun filled evening of touring the Norfolk Botanical Garden’s Christmas lights (the Caveman loves Christmas lights- he calls them pretties. Lately it has been “Oh my goodness look at all my pretties!”). We came home and the Alien was completely knocked out so I brought the Caveman into his room, changed him into pajamas and then let him pick out a book. Then I put him into the bed and all hell broke loose.

The heavy breathing tipped me off that this was not going to be easy. Like a volcano about to explode, the Caveman built up to the biggest cry I have ever heard, with one little tear falling onto his face. He was horrified that I would actually send him to bed in his own room. I sat with him as he cried, pleading mommy let me sleep where I like. After ten minutes I kissed my crying baby and told him goodnight.

Currently a half hour later he is still screaming his eyes out.

Before becoming a parent I would catch that “Super Nanny” show and wonder how those idiotic parents got to the point that they needed the help of a reality show nanny. Come on, how hard could it be to get a two year old to bed?

Ignorance is bliss- a parent of a two year old who refuses to sleep in his own bed said this.

When you long to be a parent you only see the fun things never the long nights, the constant contact with bodily fluids, or the sheer torture of endless singing of “Skinnamrink.” While I was pregnant with the Caveman I had visions of cookie making, little league and school plays dancing in my head. No one or thing can prepare you for the challenge of disciplining your child for saying a bad word while trying not to laugh at the sheer hilarity of a tiny voice saying “oh s***.”

It’s been forty minutes and he is still at it.

The other thing no one tells expectant mommies is that daddies are never affected as deeply when your child is upset over not going to bed. Currently Big Papi is asleep, snoring and probably dreaming of relations with Angelia Jolie, how nice. I on the other hand have no plans to fall asleep until I know my Caveman is safely asleep.

Forty-five minutes- still crying.

Who decided that kids this age should sleep in their own rooms anyway? Oh I remember dads who want to sleep with their wives. That is one more thing to consider when thinking of adding a caveman or alien to your household, sex. Sometimes if we happen to have a moment where both kids are asleep I know Big Papi would like to have some “sexy time” and I try but the thought of the Caveman walking in freaks me out. So you’re thinking lock the door well the thought of a two year old let loose in the house without any grownups is the most disturbing thing in the world. Do you know what a two year old can do to a house in two minutes if you let it? I’m just going to let your mind wander on that one.

Oh wait- I think I hear something- could it be that he has finally fell asleep.

NO! It’s been an hour now and now he is calling for his Crazy Grandma and the crying is more a screeching.

This whole process is awful by the way, I can see why rich people pay other people to take care of their children because then the nanny has to deal with the screeching “I want” cries.

Now the silence has spread across the house. Has this actually worked- did I finally stand my ground and my Caveman is going to sleep in his cave? Thanks to God and the sandman and whomever else handles sleep. Now I think I’ll go to sleep myself…

Never mind, the Alien just woke up.