People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have one. ~Leo J. Burke

The Caveman is really fighting me on the sleeping in his own bed thing. Today Big Papi and I decided that we would work on getting him into his own bed.

After a fun filled evening of touring the Norfolk Botanical Garden’s Christmas lights (the Caveman loves Christmas lights- he calls them pretties. Lately it has been “Oh my goodness look at all my pretties!”). We came home and the Alien was completely knocked out so I brought the Caveman into his room, changed him into pajamas and then let him pick out a book. Then I put him into the bed and all hell broke loose.

The heavy breathing tipped me off that this was not going to be easy. Like a volcano about to explode, the Caveman built up to the biggest cry I have ever heard, with one little tear falling onto his face. He was horrified that I would actually send him to bed in his own room. I sat with him as he cried, pleading mommy let me sleep where I like. After ten minutes I kissed my crying baby and told him goodnight.

Currently a half hour later he is still screaming his eyes out.

Before becoming a parent I would catch that “Super Nanny” show and wonder how those idiotic parents got to the point that they needed the help of a reality show nanny. Come on, how hard could it be to get a two year old to bed?

Ignorance is bliss- a parent of a two year old who refuses to sleep in his own bed said this.

When you long to be a parent you only see the fun things never the long nights, the constant contact with bodily fluids, or the sheer torture of endless singing of “Skinnamrink.” While I was pregnant with the Caveman I had visions of cookie making, little league and school plays dancing in my head. No one or thing can prepare you for the challenge of disciplining your child for saying a bad word while trying not to laugh at the sheer hilarity of a tiny voice saying “oh s***.”

It’s been forty minutes and he is still at it.

The other thing no one tells expectant mommies is that daddies are never affected as deeply when your child is upset over not going to bed. Currently Big Papi is asleep, snoring and probably dreaming of relations with Angelia Jolie, how nice. I on the other hand have no plans to fall asleep until I know my Caveman is safely asleep.

Forty-five minutes- still crying.

Who decided that kids this age should sleep in their own rooms anyway? Oh I remember dads who want to sleep with their wives. That is one more thing to consider when thinking of adding a caveman or alien to your household, sex. Sometimes if we happen to have a moment where both kids are asleep I know Big Papi would like to have some “sexy time” and I try but the thought of the Caveman walking in freaks me out. So you’re thinking lock the door well the thought of a two year old let loose in the house without any grownups is the most disturbing thing in the world. Do you know what a two year old can do to a house in two minutes if you let it? I’m just going to let your mind wander on that one.

Oh wait- I think I hear something- could it be that he has finally fell asleep.

NO! It’s been an hour now and now he is calling for his Crazy Grandma and the crying is more a screeching.

This whole process is awful by the way, I can see why rich people pay other people to take care of their children because then the nanny has to deal with the screeching “I want” cries.

Now the silence has spread across the house. Has this actually worked- did I finally stand my ground and my Caveman is going to sleep in his cave? Thanks to God and the sandman and whomever else handles sleep. Now I think I’ll go to sleep myself…

Never mind, the Alien just woke up.

AJ's first halloween and we survived

So Halloween with a two year old caveman is very exciting. First the costume selection became dramatic as I picked out the most adorable monkey costume for AJ. He refused to wear it, screaming the whole time- we took it back to Target. It really is a shame because it was so cute and really inexpensive considering I saw a similar costume in a catalogue for $30.00. So I went to Babies R Us and found a sweatsuit that had a skeleton design on it that I knew would work because I was basically tricking the caveman into wearing a costume. Also discovered at Babies R Us the most adorable little kitten outfit for Addison- yes I am a mother that dresses her children to match the various holidays.

Because crazy grandma was going to be out of town for Halloween, Big Papi and I decided to take the children to his mom's neighborhood. This would be better than trying to trick or treat in our neighborhood because it is manly old people who do not participate in trick or treat activities.

So we set out around six in the evening with AJ, Big Papi, and Titi Shannon (Big Papi's sister). I started to worry because sometimes AJ isn't sure about strangers, so the first house I held my breath- but there was candy involved and I underestimated the power the sugary substance has over my child. AJ proudly said "trick or treat" and put his candy in the bag. We made him say thank you. Towards the end of the evening AJ would skip the trick or treat greeting and just reach in the candy bowl and look for the lollipops- I guess those are his favorite.

We stayed out for an hour and AJ got more and more bold with the candy givers and seemed to be having a good time. In fact the only problems with the evening were the bigger kids who wanted to run over my child to get to the candy, seriously where are parents these days, and the stupid grown ups who thought it would be fun to scare a two year old with a chain saw- we stayed away from that house. Seriously why would you do that to kids, just give them the candy without scaring the life out of them.

The best houses were the ones who realized that my caveman is a little guy and didn't try any funny business. I only had to yell at one candy giver outer who dressed in a costume that made him look like a giant, was about to attack AJ by reminding him in real life Big Papi is way bigger than he is and that I am mean mommy! He just laughed at me and then Big Papi got closer and the guy shut up. I wouldn't want to take on a 6'7 big guy either. After all the walking we headed back to grandma's house for pizza- and we let AJ have one well deserved dum dum lollipop.