By the way honey we are becoming Lutherans...

Seriously that is what my parents (well my mom and step dad) told me when they decided to join Gloria Dei Lutheran Church in Hampton. At 16 I wanted no part in it simply because I was not asked to go to the classes where they learned about Martin Luther or about the church itself. I had gone to church regularly as a young girl until the age of 11 when my parents (mom and dad this time) got a divorce. At 11 it is really hard when you believe in your whole heart that Jesus loves you and died for your sins to go through something like that. What sin at 11 could you possibly have committed to make your parents' marriage fall apart that couldn't be healed by Jesus I remember praying each night for them to get over it and get back together. When it didn't happen I was also devastated when my mom moved me out of the church family I had know since I was three because she was having a religious crisis herself.

My heart was broken and it took many years to face what hurt that was. I had to accept that even when you love God with all your heart that life is not perfect and that the tests come at any time. I felt alone and abandoned because in one year my entire life changed.

I always felt welcomed at Gloria Dei even though I questioned their beliefs, the pastors encouraged it. I made peace with my mother to attend the baccalaureate at Gloria Dei, kneeling in my white high school graduation gown still doubting if I even believed in this stuff. As the years went by I went once in awhile, usually Easter for my mom, and the question was never asked- when are you going to join. They, the pastors, just hugged me and sent me on my way.

When I was getting married, I knew that there was no getting out of a church wedding, it was the one thing my mother asked for. Plus the church is simply beautiful, but I still felt guilty as I was saying my vows to my new husband that I was being hypocritical to ask for God's blessing in my marriage and life but I was unwilling to admit that he was apart of my daily life.

When the first AJ came along things changed. I suddenly remembered my childhood in a church, singing silly songs, feeling like a family. I wanted that feeling of safety and warmth for my child, but I didn't want to it without Big Papi. He wasn't ready.

We got AJ baptized and then I became pregnant with AJ version 2.0 and I knew that enough was enough I needed to be apart of a church community. Big Papi agreed.

Yesterday, James and I were accepted as full members at Gloria Dei Lutheran Church. I cried and was nervous that some how this church family, something I so desperately wanted, was going to find out that I was a fraud and not want me or my children. But every member that was at that service came to me and welcomed my husband, my children, and myself.

I don't want to be one of those Christians that only talks about her love of her lord and savior. Yesterday, however, when I was promising to renounce sin I felt something come over me and I know that God had welcomed his child back home.